Mimpi Pari

"The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter"

Name:
Location: Malaysia

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Leaving the Program

18 months ago, I and a few others began the Program. It was a national-level program and it was meant to prove that there was a better way to do things, especially in implementing Government policies for promoting innovation.

Prove a point we did. People saw the good that the Program did and it was recognized for its efforts. Yet the Company that the Program worked under, wanted to kill the program.

NEWCEO and The Beast made sure that the execution of the Program was gradual, but effective. They wanted to change the nature of the Program and defeat it from the inside. On top of that, they're going to downsize the Team and cut the salaries of those remaining behind too.

After pleading to all levers of power in the Government, I have finally thrown in the towel. I am leaving the Program and am resigning on principle. It kills me inside to leave, for the Program was my baby, my creation. I've always believed that if one could prove one's point, then support would rally in one's favour. But perhaps, this is not the case in Malaysia. It is preferable to be politically correct here, than to ACTUALLY be correct.

Cassie will be taking over as the Head of the Program. It has somewhat lifted the burden off me - I know she will do her best to take care of the Team - to retain those who can be retained and to buy time for those who cannot, so that they may find another job.

I will be unemployed next month. Thankfully, things are not too bad financially and I have something big in the pipeline, coming up in few months. Another Program - it promises to be a much bigger one, but with more professional parties than the Company. Alhamdulillah, just this morning someone offered me to work on a short-term 2-3 month project which pays well. Am so thankful for these small mercies, from Him.

I've learnt a lot from the Program - it hasn't all been a loss. I now know more of my strengths, weaknesses and occasionally, my naive faith in people who look sincere. I'm not as optimistic as I used to be about Malaysia, but I'm not yet bitter or cynical. I make a strong effort to step back from that threshold.

There's a side of me that likes to believe that the good guys will prevail, at the end of the day. This country cannot be ruled by those without backbone, sincerity and those who are self-serving. Otherwise, it will be damned.

If not, I can always migrate to New Zealand. :)

I need a holiday. My spirit's taken too much of a beating. I believe in the old Chinese saying that "this too shall pass", but at the moment, it doesn't feel like it and the sadness is engulfing me.

The memories in the Program - both good and bad - will remain with me forever. There's no doubt about that.

2 Comments:

Blogger Najah said...

www.banyantree.com

I'm heading off there soon. But only after the Horse kicks me off...

8:41 AM  
Blogger Stingrayz said...

Najah:

Yes, what great idea - a holiday! Certainly will go once the "winter break" starts in January. ;)

Xena:

Yes, The Beast. It's a name that he deserves, for being entirely lacking in good sense and compassion. :)

7:19 PM  

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