Uninspired and Restless
That restless feeling is coming around again. I think I need to get out of town, for a while.
No, am not depressed or anything like that. Life's very stable and predictable, in most ways.
Same old friends, same old scene, same old makan and movie hangouts, same old activities, same old songs sung. And there's something that makes me feel very fortunate and secure, for all of that. I have a lot ot be thankful for. I do and I know it.
But there's something inside that's yearning for a fresh perspective. On everything. On everyone. On the future and what's coming. I feel like I've gone as far as I can, in this current mould and level of thinking.
And I've stagnated. And I can't write anymore - I seem to be drying up and low in inspiration.
And I'm beginning to resign myself to a few things in my life - like most of my siblings will never differ far from the ones in the TV show "Arrested Development".
I'm itching to get out of town. Just to leave and abandon everything here, for a few days. Just for a fresh vista. To meet and talk to people who are not KLites.
To learn new things and to elicit new lessons - just to feel inspired to look at old things and issues in new ways. To be a stranger in a village, where no one knows my past or present - and I'm just another interesting visitor from the city. To feel the sea breeze on my face and the sand in between my toes.
To sit in a dilapidated warung kopi and to have a chat with the locals, on what's happening on the ground and how it's affecting their lives.
To have an unplanned journey - just go where my feet would bring me and what interesting experiences I would have from there. The last time I really let that happen, was when I was travelling alone, in Spain in late 2002. And yes, that was an emotionally enriching experience.
The restless feeling inside, is getting stronger. One of these days - I might just spontaneously pack up and go. Because the hunger inside is getting harder to resist. There's something very draining about routine and predictability in life. I need to recharge.
I need a breath of fresh air and to feel like I'm growing again, inside. For the mind and for the heart. For peace and inspiration.
Soon.
No, am not depressed or anything like that. Life's very stable and predictable, in most ways.
Same old friends, same old scene, same old makan and movie hangouts, same old activities, same old songs sung. And there's something that makes me feel very fortunate and secure, for all of that. I have a lot ot be thankful for. I do and I know it.
But there's something inside that's yearning for a fresh perspective. On everything. On everyone. On the future and what's coming. I feel like I've gone as far as I can, in this current mould and level of thinking.
And I've stagnated. And I can't write anymore - I seem to be drying up and low in inspiration.
And I'm beginning to resign myself to a few things in my life - like most of my siblings will never differ far from the ones in the TV show "Arrested Development".
I'm itching to get out of town. Just to leave and abandon everything here, for a few days. Just for a fresh vista. To meet and talk to people who are not KLites.
To learn new things and to elicit new lessons - just to feel inspired to look at old things and issues in new ways. To be a stranger in a village, where no one knows my past or present - and I'm just another interesting visitor from the city. To feel the sea breeze on my face and the sand in between my toes.
To sit in a dilapidated warung kopi and to have a chat with the locals, on what's happening on the ground and how it's affecting their lives.
To have an unplanned journey - just go where my feet would bring me and what interesting experiences I would have from there. The last time I really let that happen, was when I was travelling alone, in Spain in late 2002. And yes, that was an emotionally enriching experience.
The restless feeling inside, is getting stronger. One of these days - I might just spontaneously pack up and go. Because the hunger inside is getting harder to resist. There's something very draining about routine and predictability in life. I need to recharge.
I need a breath of fresh air and to feel like I'm growing again, inside. For the mind and for the heart. For peace and inspiration.
Soon.
posted by Stingrayz | 11:25 PM
11 Comments:
dear stingray,
Y viva Espana.
oh my... my dream is to move to Seville.
a shared sentiments there to experience a something new to feel fresh and lively again.
i hope your soon, is just around the corner.
cheers.
funny bro, I too have to urge to do a Rehman Rashid... :)
Ok bro
Very Freudian. sounds to me like you need relief of a different kind.
Dame Rosse:
It doesn't have to be a Viva Espana this time round. Even a Viva Terengganu would do. ;)
Ervan:
Go for it! Go take your own Malaysian journey. :)
Anonymous:
Yes, the solution that you probably have in mind would probably have solved everything, about 5-10 years ago. ;)
But not anymore. Of that much, I am certain.
Sometimes, it's the soul that needs the food.
nak ikut boleh ?
Anonymous:
Applications will be considered, on a case-to-case basis. ;)
But if you're Siti Nurhaliza, then the rules need not apply - you can just automatically come along. :)
And oh yes, Datuk K is not welcome. ;D
It's like you've blogged exactly what I'm going through right now. Just don't go deleting your blog like I did hehe :)
Solace:
Welcome back, dear. :)
But you've inspired me to "start over" on a clean new blog! How lah like this? ;)
I went to Sevilla before you Ray, and only for a few days. I can't say that I was that impressed. On the plus side, there is quite a bit of history and you can stay out quite late at night. On the downside, there were a lot of sand flies in summer and it doesn't feel 'posh' but rather a bit of a 3rd world.
Frankly I prefer Italy (and of course the UK for nostalgia). Maybe even the Eastern European countries like Czech and Hungary. I hear the women there are beautiful and easy. Heheheh ;)
Babu:
Sevilla was just okay for me. But Cordoba and Granada (and on non-Andalusian related note, Barcelona) bowled me over.
Yes, I've been to Italy as a child and from what little I remember, it was a great place. I remember that my late mother, loved Milan. :)
As for the rumours on the Eastern European woman - go watch "Hostel" by Quentin Tarantino. That should scare any man off, from expecting a treat. ;)
Kook says:
I've got sand
I've got sea
I've got hills rolling by
and really genunine country folks
You're welcomed to come over anytime
P.S: Can't provide you with with the woman of your dreams though here.....
Post a Comment
<< Home