Leaping Cats,...
....is on the front cover of the card.
It was given to me more than 2 years ago, by someone who was very special to me at that time. She bought it, because the card reminded her of me.
It's funny what you stumble on to, when you're doing your house spring cleaning.
In the card, was handwritten the lovely words of Henry Drummond, which she had quoted, to express how happy, blissful and alive (her words, not mine) I'd made her life. It went something like this:
"You will find as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love".
Old cards from former lovers are strange that way - you remember the feeling of how good and sweet it was - but in an almost detached manner, like a 3rd party outside looking in, at someone else's life.
Maybe because the words use to mean everything and it's truly felt by lover saying it.
But after so much time was spent overcoming the grief of loss of lost love, the bittersweet memories evoked by old cards and gifts, become like early morning sunrays on your face - you still feel the warmth but it doesn't burn you, anymore.
Such is God's miracle of a human being - we hold within us a deep capacity to give, to love, to forgive and to forget - whether in sequence or simultaneously.
And sometimes, God gives us the capacity to remember with fondness, to be thankful that there was a chunk of time where the absolute bliss of being in love and being loved in return, is truly one of the occasional blessings in one's life. And to not hurt anymore, when one looks back on what was lost and of promises broken.
Some people have never even been there. I've almost died with grief several times from it - but I've also been unafraid and lucky enough to know what the feeling is like, several times with several different lovers.
Leaping cats. I'd never trade-in the experience for anything else in life.
***************************************
Happy Valentine's Day to all. :)
It's slightly more meaningful this year for me, even without a romantic partner - because I've learnt that it could also be about the joy of giving to the people you love and seeing their happiness in receiving it.
It's about being there in the moments that count (as one close friend has pointed out in the last few days) and the love you have for your loved ones - God, friends, family, colleagues, society - or even loving oneself.
It could also be about being considerate and doing the right thing, at the right time - giving people what they need, as opposed to what you would want, from them.
It doesn't have to be a twosome, romantic or reciprocal. It just has to be sincere and from the heart.
I must be getting older - because even while some important questions remain unanswered, life is beginning to make a lot more sense and I seem to worry less about what's coming (or not coming). I'm enjoying the journey more than the outcome. I'm in a good place in my life, right now.
I just do my best (without compromise, retreat or surrender) in the moment that I'm blessed with and strive not to give in to my fears, come what may.
Perhaps, this is the way I've learnt to love life.
It was given to me more than 2 years ago, by someone who was very special to me at that time. She bought it, because the card reminded her of me.
It's funny what you stumble on to, when you're doing your house spring cleaning.
In the card, was handwritten the lovely words of Henry Drummond, which she had quoted, to express how happy, blissful and alive (her words, not mine) I'd made her life. It went something like this:
"You will find as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love".
Old cards from former lovers are strange that way - you remember the feeling of how good and sweet it was - but in an almost detached manner, like a 3rd party outside looking in, at someone else's life.
Maybe because the words use to mean everything and it's truly felt by lover saying it.
But after so much time was spent overcoming the grief of loss of lost love, the bittersweet memories evoked by old cards and gifts, become like early morning sunrays on your face - you still feel the warmth but it doesn't burn you, anymore.
Such is God's miracle of a human being - we hold within us a deep capacity to give, to love, to forgive and to forget - whether in sequence or simultaneously.
And sometimes, God gives us the capacity to remember with fondness, to be thankful that there was a chunk of time where the absolute bliss of being in love and being loved in return, is truly one of the occasional blessings in one's life. And to not hurt anymore, when one looks back on what was lost and of promises broken.
Some people have never even been there. I've almost died with grief several times from it - but I've also been unafraid and lucky enough to know what the feeling is like, several times with several different lovers.
Leaping cats. I'd never trade-in the experience for anything else in life.
***************************************
Happy Valentine's Day to all. :)
It's slightly more meaningful this year for me, even without a romantic partner - because I've learnt that it could also be about the joy of giving to the people you love and seeing their happiness in receiving it.
It's about being there in the moments that count (as one close friend has pointed out in the last few days) and the love you have for your loved ones - God, friends, family, colleagues, society - or even loving oneself.
It could also be about being considerate and doing the right thing, at the right time - giving people what they need, as opposed to what you would want, from them.
It doesn't have to be a twosome, romantic or reciprocal. It just has to be sincere and from the heart.
I must be getting older - because even while some important questions remain unanswered, life is beginning to make a lot more sense and I seem to worry less about what's coming (or not coming). I'm enjoying the journey more than the outcome. I'm in a good place in my life, right now.
I just do my best (without compromise, retreat or surrender) in the moment that I'm blessed with and strive not to give in to my fears, come what may.
Perhaps, this is the way I've learnt to love life.
posted by Stingrayz | 1:16 AM
6 Comments:
What a beautiful entry.
I recently found an old Valentines card that says: "You are the apple (next to the word is a drawing of an apple, quite naturally) of my heart".
I sat down holding the card remembering what that relationship was like but could not even trace back my emotions that far.
Sometimes when you are transported back in time,remembering former relationship moments and you find yourself smiling at the mere thought of it, you realise how far you have come.
Other times when you could not get that smile out of the distant memory, you also realise how far you have come and perhaps how much you have grown up.
I am glad to read your near-death experience dealing with love grief.
I thought I was the only strange one :)
Danyanova:
Thanks for the compliment, Danyanova dear. :) It's an honour for me that you've dropped by to read my blog.
Coming from someone who writes as well as you do, that means a lot to me. :)
And thanks for sharing your story too. Yes, we do realize how far we have come (and grown) in these moments, don't we?
And sometimes, we wonder where all the time (and feelings) have gone. It's as if human will and resilience makes a lie out of the truth of our love, that we once embraced so dearly.
And no - you're definitely not the only strange one, dear. :)
Romantics are a dying breed in this world, but the remaining small minority that survives, will carry on living the only way they know how to in both life and in love - by living their dreams.
Come back again and leave your comments, k? I'm quite pleased to have a kindred soul hovering around my thoughts. :)
Howdee doodee...
ur lucky that way. Reading old love letters just make me cringe. I can't believe that I could ever stoop to such levels of corniness. Hehe.
Noni:
Yes, but isn't the act of being corny at that moment itself, a reminder of the intensity of the feeling of love and affection that we felt at that time?
Most things are corny, on hindsight - but swimming through the naivety of youth and passion are some of the things that reminds us that we are (or was once) alive.
Good to have you back on the blog, Noni. You have been missed. :)
Haven't got any V-Day cards from old lovers (because I was lucky enough to marry the first person with whom I was in a serious relationship) but this post reminds of the 1st V-Day card I got for my wife-to-be. The cover was all black with an outline of a heart in silver: bold, straight to the point and no corny message inside either. I thought it was classy. Never found another card that could match it since.
Anon 2
Anon 2:
You're a lucky guy. :) And yes - good cards are hard to find nowadays, isn't it?
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