First Preference, First Priority

It has probably been too long, since I last felt like the first preference and first priority to a girl that I really liked.

Or maybe it just feels that way - partly because of circumstances, partly because of how I feel I'm treated and partly, because of how I feel about the other party.

I don't know where this particular relationship is going yet - and perhaps, I don't care to know for now - but I know that I like the way I'm treated.

And I know I like the way that for once, I don't have to fight off a first preference/priority 3rd party, an emotional hang-up, a quiet desperation to move on with my life or a huge ego that knows not how to give or with some others, forgive.

She's sweet and very attractive in an uncommon way - and I could SO see myself going out with someone like this.

And at least, for now - she makes me feel like I'm worth it. With full honesty and effort. No sharing, no confusion, no being taken for granted, no insecurity, no games and no feeling obligated to marry someone else - this time, it's just me that's priority in the other person's eyes.

And God knows that I need to feel this way - being a professional 2nd choice to the people you love, can do funny things to your self-esteem and confidence and adversely affect, how you look at yourself.


She's so different from me, in so many ways - but yet so uncomplicated and uncomplicating. Which is normal to most people, I guess - but can be considered an aberration for me, considering the complexity of the people I've fallen for in the last 2 years.

But I do like where I am right now.

Perhaps, the destination is less clear (and maybe for once, it should be that way) but it's obvious that the journey, no matter how gradual, is at least, heading somewhere and going forward.

And I'm enjoying the moment of being first preference, first priority - in her eyes. I like the way she makes me feel wanted.

Reciprocity in a relationship, is something that should be natural and instinctive, without having to ask or having to work so hard, at it.

(Perhaps, it's a sign of the times we live in, how most people are so much more thoughtful in words, than deeds, nowadays. Push comes to shove - they're unable to deliver in the moments that count)

I used to remember what this was like - and if I don't, it's about time for a refresher course. I don't always have to make complexity a partner, in my life's journey.

Sometimes, there has to be a balance between what you want - and what you know you deserve. Go with the heart, by all means, if you have to - but over time, learn to make better choices in your life.

All mistakes have a familiar pattern - and if your head does not point it out to you, at first - your heart eventually will. And you will learn to recognize mistakes - faster than you did, previously. Thank God, for the limits on patience - people would be fools without it.

If all we can really be certain and assured of, are moments in our lives - then we really ought to learn to live better, in each of these moments - because life shouldn't have to be so difficult, really.

Keep it simple, stupid - that sentence resonates in me, like never before.

Maybe you can teach an old dog, a new trick, huh?