The Young and Idealistic
There is no people more sure about the answers to life than the young and idealistic.
You may have had the good fortune of bumping into one. They're in their 20's and they're at a stage of life where they know who they are and where they want to be.
They're intelligent and usually academically and/or professionally successful, determined and somewhat angry at how silly a place the world is. They hold in disdain people who have made mistakes or whom are corrupt or people who seem to be fully or partially confused.
They're self-confident (sometimes overtly so) and if left unchecked, it will lead to a myopic evaluation of life, laced with an untempered arrogance which tends to alienate them from others.
They have very little self-doubt and rarely indulge in self-reflection, over their mistakes and weaknesses. Some of them are just purely selfish, seeking out friends only when they have a need to be entertained.
Some of them have had enough experiences that have hurt them in the past and they build up high walls of cynicism and detachment to make sure that those mistakes are not repeated.
They've made up their minds about the world and the people in it and they're preparing themselves not to be what they perceive to be the next casualty or sell-out. They don't think that they'll ever compromise.
They know better and they've got principles - so they think they will never make the same mistakes. They're convinced that they will be better and that the world is a better place for them being in it.
They're convinced that their generation is THE generation that will make the most important changes that the country has ever experienced.
If you were once young and idealistic - you would recognize some of the above traits. You may see it in the mirror and sometimes, you may see it in your family and friends.
****************************************
Whenever I talk to young idealists nowadays, I wonder if I've ever sounded like one of them.
So full of energy, confidence and enthusiasm - so unlimited, unfazed and unstoppable in the corners of their own mind. So totally unaware of their own fallibility - so full of an unjustified sense of destiny, by virtue of being highly educated.
And they'll conclude that they did it all on merit and luck had nothing to do with it. They might even conclude that God is talking to them and therefore, how can they be wrong?
One of the simplest conclusions that young people can reach is to conclude that they're better, because they've never or hardly made any big mistakes. Not ones that are obvious to them, anyway.
If you've never made a big mistake, young fellow - good for you. But take my word for this - it does not mean that you're not capable of it.
It just means that you've not yet come to your big mistake - one that you can realize and accept. One that makes you eat humble pie and makes you realize that you're not all that special or great, despite all good intentions and idealism.
But no young idealist likes to be talked down to, because of their age and youth. And I know better, than to try to do so.
Sometimes, the best way to get people to learn is to LET them make their own mistakes. Let them come to their own conclusions, after they've made their own mistakes. Don't rush it - it will come to them, when it's meant to come to them.
It's not that idealism is a bad thing.
It's a very good thing - society would be much poorer in both quantity and quality - if history were absent of young idealists. The civilization of Man itself may not have survived without the ideologies that promote the best of ideals for Man and his society.
But ideals don't exist or live in a vacuum. Ideals, no matter how high or noble - has to live in a context of reality. Because it is within reality, that ideals has to prove its worthiness for constructive change and betterment.
Over time, we realize that the idealistic road is a lonely one. In reality, human beings tend to push each other to conform to the values it holds dear.
One day, you might abandon some of your ideals to get ahead in your career or to increase your wealth.
Or you feel that the damage is worth it, because happiness and success is something that you prize above all else. Or when you feel that it's more important to make a living, than to take a principled stand. Or when you close one eye and remain silent to the corruption of your friends, but still scream out when the same is done by strangers.
Or you might join a political party which operates in a context that you don't really believe in or which values you cannot identify with - because you've been convinced that it's the most pragmatic thing to do. Perhaps, there is comfort in numbers and acceptance by the majority.
Any honest young idealist (that has grown older) would admit to themselves that somewhere along the way - reality had made them compromise - at least, in some areas, if not all. They find they're much lesser, than the people they once thought they were.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
You only know how true you are to your ideals when it requires you to pay a price and you would still openly and willingly take a stand, regardless of the consequences and the high price paid for it.
But the realization that most young idealists will come to, is that they're human. And so are other people in this world. And that people falling short of their ideals, is not necessarily a moral crime - that's being human too.
Reality is what tempers our expectations from the spring well of idealism.
Sometimes, not everything you believe in will fit squarely into this world - but you have to realize that an imperfect fit is far better than not attempting to fit it, at all.
And if the young person is still an idealist 10 years after leaving formal education - then in all likelihood, he will realize what's sacred to him and what's not. What are the areas which he has conceded due to pragmatism, compromise and weakness and what are things that has and will continue to remain, inviolable.
Provided he's honest to himself, of course. Arrogance is a dark shadow that clouds many mirrors of self-reflection. It stands in the way of self-improvement - and therefore, yes, idealism too.
If you're completely happy with who you are without the slightest ounce of self-doubt and the occasional self-recrimination - it may mean that you've stagnated, as a person.
But at the end of the day - what's important is that the journey to idealism be continued. Learn to forgive yourself (and others) for falling short and making mistakes and keep on trying.
There can be no lessons without mistakes. The person who has not made (or lacks the self-honesty to acknowledge his own mistakes), is someone who has stopped learning.
He stunts his own journey towards his ideals, if he cannot accept the reality of mistakes, in himself or others. There is a reason why they say, that to forgive is divine.
At the end of the day - it's what you learn from living, that matters - it's not a zero-sum game, where there is absolutely, no latitude for errors.
Our ideals are meant to make us better people, not perfect people. Perfect people cannot possibly change the world, because they simply cannot comprehend mistakes or failures in life. How do you relate to people who have fallen, when you never have?
And perhaps, we can only become better people when we accept and forgive the mistakes and fallibility of Man (without becoming overtly rigid or cynical) and yet still carry on the torch for idealism, while being realistic as to the level of substantive change that we may see within our lifetime.
But don't tell the young idealist that.
There are very few stages in life when one feels so certain, so uncompromising, unique and invulnerable. Every young idealist should go through it and be given the time and space, to mature at their own pace. It's the best way to learn.
Furthermore, they probably won't believe you, if you told them anyway.
They'll just think that you're old, washed out and jaded and simply did not have the moral strength to remain true to your ideals and to remain above it all.
But one day, they will know better (and perhaps, be better)- on their own.
Because if you're perfect in your mind, there is definitely only one way for things to go from there - and that is down.
You may have had the good fortune of bumping into one. They're in their 20's and they're at a stage of life where they know who they are and where they want to be.
They're intelligent and usually academically and/or professionally successful, determined and somewhat angry at how silly a place the world is. They hold in disdain people who have made mistakes or whom are corrupt or people who seem to be fully or partially confused.
They're self-confident (sometimes overtly so) and if left unchecked, it will lead to a myopic evaluation of life, laced with an untempered arrogance which tends to alienate them from others.
They have very little self-doubt and rarely indulge in self-reflection, over their mistakes and weaknesses. Some of them are just purely selfish, seeking out friends only when they have a need to be entertained.
Some of them have had enough experiences that have hurt them in the past and they build up high walls of cynicism and detachment to make sure that those mistakes are not repeated.
They've made up their minds about the world and the people in it and they're preparing themselves not to be what they perceive to be the next casualty or sell-out. They don't think that they'll ever compromise.
They know better and they've got principles - so they think they will never make the same mistakes. They're convinced that they will be better and that the world is a better place for them being in it.
They're convinced that their generation is THE generation that will make the most important changes that the country has ever experienced.
If you were once young and idealistic - you would recognize some of the above traits. You may see it in the mirror and sometimes, you may see it in your family and friends.
****************************************
Whenever I talk to young idealists nowadays, I wonder if I've ever sounded like one of them.
So full of energy, confidence and enthusiasm - so unlimited, unfazed and unstoppable in the corners of their own mind. So totally unaware of their own fallibility - so full of an unjustified sense of destiny, by virtue of being highly educated.
And they'll conclude that they did it all on merit and luck had nothing to do with it. They might even conclude that God is talking to them and therefore, how can they be wrong?
One of the simplest conclusions that young people can reach is to conclude that they're better, because they've never or hardly made any big mistakes. Not ones that are obvious to them, anyway.
If you've never made a big mistake, young fellow - good for you. But take my word for this - it does not mean that you're not capable of it.
It just means that you've not yet come to your big mistake - one that you can realize and accept. One that makes you eat humble pie and makes you realize that you're not all that special or great, despite all good intentions and idealism.
But no young idealist likes to be talked down to, because of their age and youth. And I know better, than to try to do so.
Sometimes, the best way to get people to learn is to LET them make their own mistakes. Let them come to their own conclusions, after they've made their own mistakes. Don't rush it - it will come to them, when it's meant to come to them.
It's not that idealism is a bad thing.
It's a very good thing - society would be much poorer in both quantity and quality - if history were absent of young idealists. The civilization of Man itself may not have survived without the ideologies that promote the best of ideals for Man and his society.
But ideals don't exist or live in a vacuum. Ideals, no matter how high or noble - has to live in a context of reality. Because it is within reality, that ideals has to prove its worthiness for constructive change and betterment.
Over time, we realize that the idealistic road is a lonely one. In reality, human beings tend to push each other to conform to the values it holds dear.
One day, you might abandon some of your ideals to get ahead in your career or to increase your wealth.
Or you feel that the damage is worth it, because happiness and success is something that you prize above all else. Or when you feel that it's more important to make a living, than to take a principled stand. Or when you close one eye and remain silent to the corruption of your friends, but still scream out when the same is done by strangers.
Or you might join a political party which operates in a context that you don't really believe in or which values you cannot identify with - because you've been convinced that it's the most pragmatic thing to do. Perhaps, there is comfort in numbers and acceptance by the majority.
Any honest young idealist (that has grown older) would admit to themselves that somewhere along the way - reality had made them compromise - at least, in some areas, if not all. They find they're much lesser, than the people they once thought they were.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
You only know how true you are to your ideals when it requires you to pay a price and you would still openly and willingly take a stand, regardless of the consequences and the high price paid for it.
But the realization that most young idealists will come to, is that they're human. And so are other people in this world. And that people falling short of their ideals, is not necessarily a moral crime - that's being human too.
Reality is what tempers our expectations from the spring well of idealism.
Sometimes, not everything you believe in will fit squarely into this world - but you have to realize that an imperfect fit is far better than not attempting to fit it, at all.
And if the young person is still an idealist 10 years after leaving formal education - then in all likelihood, he will realize what's sacred to him and what's not. What are the areas which he has conceded due to pragmatism, compromise and weakness and what are things that has and will continue to remain, inviolable.
Provided he's honest to himself, of course. Arrogance is a dark shadow that clouds many mirrors of self-reflection. It stands in the way of self-improvement - and therefore, yes, idealism too.
If you're completely happy with who you are without the slightest ounce of self-doubt and the occasional self-recrimination - it may mean that you've stagnated, as a person.
But at the end of the day - what's important is that the journey to idealism be continued. Learn to forgive yourself (and others) for falling short and making mistakes and keep on trying.
There can be no lessons without mistakes. The person who has not made (or lacks the self-honesty to acknowledge his own mistakes), is someone who has stopped learning.
He stunts his own journey towards his ideals, if he cannot accept the reality of mistakes, in himself or others. There is a reason why they say, that to forgive is divine.
At the end of the day - it's what you learn from living, that matters - it's not a zero-sum game, where there is absolutely, no latitude for errors.
Our ideals are meant to make us better people, not perfect people. Perfect people cannot possibly change the world, because they simply cannot comprehend mistakes or failures in life. How do you relate to people who have fallen, when you never have?
And perhaps, we can only become better people when we accept and forgive the mistakes and fallibility of Man (without becoming overtly rigid or cynical) and yet still carry on the torch for idealism, while being realistic as to the level of substantive change that we may see within our lifetime.
But don't tell the young idealist that.
There are very few stages in life when one feels so certain, so uncompromising, unique and invulnerable. Every young idealist should go through it and be given the time and space, to mature at their own pace. It's the best way to learn.
Furthermore, they probably won't believe you, if you told them anyway.
They'll just think that you're old, washed out and jaded and simply did not have the moral strength to remain true to your ideals and to remain above it all.
But one day, they will know better (and perhaps, be better)- on their own.
Because if you're perfect in your mind, there is definitely only one way for things to go from there - and that is down.
posted by Stingrayz | 10:26 AM
16 Comments:
"They" were once so many of us! I seem to remember a young idealist I used to know about 8 years ago :-). He was pretty hotheaded himself and so devoid of self-doubt (in certain matters) that it is amazing how mellowed he is now! In my opinion, he is still an idealist but much tempered by age and experience - which is a good thing really. A much easier person to get along with!! Heh! Heh!
But, you know what? Give me an idealist anyday because to be apathetic is even worse!
Xena:
Yes,...how the mighty have fallen, huh? :D
Yes, I might be easier to get along with now, but sometimes, I don't know whether it's a good thing.
I guess the tricky line is to balance between the acceptance of what's all too human and to still strive for what is ideal.
Some say that in my tolerance of human nature, my string of mistakes and my eagerness for love, understanding and compassion, that I've slipped in areas where I shouldn't have.
Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong - who knows?
But one thing I know for sure - is that I'm no more the person I thought I once was - for better and for worse.
It's a strange feeling - I'm less sure of everything I've ever assumed and known - but I feel more fulfilled for the richness and depth of experience.
Does that make sense at all?
I don't think I'm an idealist anymore,...I'm now just a person with some ideals, still intact. No more, no less.
Wonderful post! Is this going to be published in a newspaper too?
I think I'm less of a perfectionist now than I used to be, but I'm still idealistic. In some cases my ideals and priorities have changed (even compromised, maybe?), but I'm not going to go jump off a cliff if things don't happen my way. I believe there's a balance in everything - whatever you lose, you'll gain in another area of your life, whether you realise it or not. Losing my dad was and still is the worst thing that ever happened to me, but my high points in life are making up for it.
Dian:
Thanks, dear. :)
Missed you at the Raya reunion, the other day. And you missed out on seeing Nenn, Ms O and Norlin too! It was a great gathering.
Yep, you're right - there is a balance in everything.
I've always found that to be true - although sometimes, the ingredients involved in the balancing, is not quite what I expected it to be.
But just like poker - you play the cards that you're dealt - and play the best game that you can play, given the cards.
I know what you mean about losing your dad - there's something about losing a parent early on in your life, that you never quite shake off.
I sometimes still hear my mother's words echo in my mind - especially, when I finally understand what it was she was trying to teach me.
And I sometimes regret that her words seem to make more sense to me now, after her passing on. If only I had matured earlier,....but such is life, yes?
But I have found that perhaps, if there is one feeling that compensates for the emotional loss of losing a parent - it's receiving the fulfilling unconditional love of a child.
It's like God meant it to be that way - that though we may lose our parents, but the connection we have with our children, ensures that we can repeat the same bond twice - once as a child, the other as a parent.
And in that sense, Dian dear - you have been blessed twice. Ain't God grand? :)
Yes brother dear, I have truly been blessed with those lovely boys, and I so wanted to show them off at your reunion but some unplanned events occurred in the morning which dragged on till the afternoon. Will have to make up for it soon before I leave for Makkah.
I accept as a given that we will always have young idealists about, but what interests me more are the causes/themes around which the young idealists rally, and how these themes have changed (or not) over the years.
In Malaysia, corruption (in all of its senses) is pretty much a theme for all seasons.
But if you look at the US, the generation which protested against the Vietnam War put up a good fight against, but failed to prevent, the Iraq War.
I also wonder how long it took past idealists on environmentalism - whenever it was that this movement began - to shape world opinion to the point that the Kyoto Protocol was made possible.
There are maybe a thousand other factors that also matter, but if there are enough of them, and if their message is clear, the young idealists may help shape the world we live in half a generation from now.
Anon 2
Dian, you are going to Makkah? When? And I have not seen your second son yet, have I?
Kak Xena (this seems so weird - are you really going by that name now?),
Yes, I'm going to 'naik haji'. Leaving on 23rd Dec. And no, you haven't met Nu'man yet. I'm having a doa selamat about a week before I leave. Stingray invited too, of course. Will inform you both in due course.
dear count,
very deep... very deep.
Dian:
Yes, I would love to see your baby boys before you leave for the Haj. :)
(I can't believe that you're going to be a Hajjah already - very good! Completing the final rung of the Rukun Islam, huh? :))
See you at the doa selamat function, InsyaAllah. :)
Anon 2:
Perhaps, some evils (like war, corruption and economic hegemony) are harder to eradicate than others - that's why it manifests itself in different ways, over different generations.
But some evils do go away permanently - like slavery in America did.
But let's not forget that the achievement of those ideals, came at at the cost of many lives in a civil war in America.
And it took many more years (and battles by many idealists) to end express discrimination in the USA.
Sometimes, I feel that it's difficult for things to change in Malaysia, because we're not willing to die (or let others die, for that matter) to uphold a principle.
And the evolution route, always takes longer, to make a point. If the point gets made at all, before the downfall of the particular nation or people.
Sometimes, developed countries are where they are - politically, socially, culturally, economically and most especially, technologically - because they have paid a high (and often, bloody) price somewhen in their history.
But yes, I agree with you. Idealists have always shaped the world - always with good intentions, even if the basis may be flawed (ask the Marxists)
How long they take to succeed always depends on the receptiveness of people to their ideas - and that, almost always depends and is shaped by circumstances.
But change takes time, especially if it's gradual and evolutionary in a developing country.
It will take even longer if it's Malaysia we're talking about - given the complexity of race, religion, social contracts, "unshared" entrenched versions of history and economic restructuring of society.
The idealists in Malaysia (especially those who have the equal interest of all Malaysians and the nation, at heart) will have to plant the seeds for a reality that they're dreaming of - perhaps, a century too early.
Most of the time, it will like we're fighting a losing battle, in our lifetime.
We may have to lose today to build up the foundation which our future generations can succeed on, far in the future.
For regressive ideologies and racial prejudices to be reversed, things will have to get a lot worse for Malaysia - before it can start getting better.
For hard lessons are usually only truly learnt by human beings, the hard way.
Kak Xena:
Stop calling yourself Kak, dear. It makes me feel old. :D
Dame Rosse:
Oii, long time no hear, dear. Abende yang deep? ;)
Ray,
But you are old ... older than me. Anyway, the message was for Dian not you! And polite child that she is, she DOES call me Kak!
BTW, on a totally unrelated topic - Deus ex machina is a Latin phrase that is used to describe an unexpected, artificial, or improbable character, device, or event introduced suddenly in a work of fiction or drama to resolve a situation or untangle a plot (e.g., having the protagonist wake up and realize it was all a dream, or an angel suddenly appearing to solve all the plot problems of story that the characters can't or won't resolve on their own). The phrase has been extended to refer to any resolution to a story which does not pay due regard to the story's internal logic and is so unlikely that it challenges suspension of disbelief, allowing the author to conclude the story with an unlikely, though more palatable, ending. In modern terms the deus ex machina has also come to describe a being, object or event that suddenly appears and solves a seemingly insoluble difficulty
The notion of deus ex machina can also be applied to a revelation within a story experienced by a character which involves the individual realizing that the complicated, sometimes perilous or mundane and perhaps seemingly unrelated sequence of events leading up to this point in the story are joined together by some profound concept. Thus the unexpected and timely intervention is aimed at the meaning of the story rather than a physical event in the plot. This may more accurately be described as a plot twist.
Xena:
I'm only older than you for one more month! After that we're the same age, again. :)
And thanks again for the definition of deus ex machina - I've been wondering about it, after we watched the movie "Ciplak" the other night.
(For those who don't know, this is a pretty good attempt for a low-budget movie by Khairil M. Bahari. Remember this name - I think he may just turn out to be Malaysia's Tarantino, one day)
And after reading the definition - I think my life may need a deus ex machina! :D
Idealist makes a small percentage of the population and are often overshadowed by greedy people :)
An idealist will have to take the pragmatic journey of dealing with the majority ...
An idealist will soon become a realist given that he learns from his challenges
An idealist then becomes a leader once he influences people outside the boundaries of his idealism and learns how to deal with greed and imperfections gracefully
Me I think I want to be a simplist
:) hahaha
Rizal Alwani:
Interesting thoughts, bro'.
Yes, perhaps that's where most idealists of yesteryears, have gone. They go on to become realists, eventually - though not all of them do.
I guess that's why it's important for us to have successive generations of young idealists flowing in - to keep things in equilibrium.
And to occasionally remind society how far we've drifted off the straight line, in following the whims and fancies of the realist majority.
If everyone was a realist, the world will only backslide, in every sense of the word.
An idealist - no matter which form he comes in - scientists, inventors, humanitarians, honest businessmen, ethical statesmen, efficient and uncorrupt civil servants, good and attentive parents, intellectuals who prize the truth above fame, etc. - all of them add more value to this world, with their presence.
It reminds me of what George Bernard Shaw once said:
"The reasonable man adapts to the world. The unreasonable man expects the world to adapt to him. Therefore, all progress are made by unreasonable men."
Maybe all idealists are unreasonable men. People who go further than other people would for principle and necessary change.
And perhaps, as long as they remain "unreasonable" in certain parts of their expections of they - they will never really become realists, despite looking more like one.
Let's hope so.
Reading rizal alwani's comment on wanting to be a simplist (:-)) reminded me once, of someone who told me he is a simpleton!
I sometimes wonder if he is still one!
Xena:
Okay, okay,...so I can be an idiot in the English language! Let it go already! ;D
But yeah - looking at his life right now, he was probably right the first time round! ;)
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