Promises to Keep
Holidays make me miserable. I've just realized that.
Don't get me wrong: It's been a long 2 years. My divorce, Mum's death, volcanic office politics, bad family ties with one of my siblings, pusaka issues - they've all taken their toll on me.
And each time I realize that I'm emotionally fatigued and that the last time I've taken a real break is in December 2003, I make another promise to myself to get away for a good holiday on an island, somewhere.
Now all I have to do, is keep that promise. Seems simple enough. But it's not.
Truth is, I hate going on holidays alone, nowadays. There used to be a time when it was therapeutic, but not anymore. So, I put it off, even though I need the break badly.
And then, there are a few other promises that I haven't kept to myself.
First, to join the gym and become a fit and muscular 75kg guy. (Never even got the registration form yet)
Secondly, to join the salsa class in Q-BAR, near Westin. (Excuse: Wednesday evening at 6 p.m.susah-lah, got work to do - although I seem to have time for other social appointments)
Thirdly, to join a script-writing class and write that defining Malaysian Thirty-Something local drama comedy TV series I've always dreamt of writing (Excuse: Yeah, right. As if I've got time to do this. Furthermore, there's SO many struggling scriptwriters out there - what makes you think that your story will be different?)
Fourthly, to climb Mt. Kinabalu (yes, did arrange and pay for the trip with friends but didn't go because Mum was hospitalized. Might never try to do it again - because got no friends to do it with maaa,...)
Fifthly, to meet new people and widen the very limited current circle of close friends (Excuse: WHERE AND HOW? Better to sit at home and watch Astro)
So many promises to keep, yet so many excuses. Heh!
It's gonna be a quiet Raya, without Mum. Kak is trying hard to fill that gap, but somehow it's not quite the same. I've come to realize that Mum was the warmth and glow in the house that we took for granted, all these while. :(
But Life has to move on, and I've got to start keeping some of these promises to myself. It can't all be about, work, passion, contribution and glory. There must be more to life than this - than the mundane, the necessary and the compulsory.
Certainly, I've got to start making space and time, for the beautiful things that God have created. You can't be happy, unless you're willing to make the effort for a more well-rounded life. The first step is always the hardest.
Langkawi, here I come. :)
Don't get me wrong: It's been a long 2 years. My divorce, Mum's death, volcanic office politics, bad family ties with one of my siblings, pusaka issues - they've all taken their toll on me.
And each time I realize that I'm emotionally fatigued and that the last time I've taken a real break is in December 2003, I make another promise to myself to get away for a good holiday on an island, somewhere.
Now all I have to do, is keep that promise. Seems simple enough. But it's not.
Truth is, I hate going on holidays alone, nowadays. There used to be a time when it was therapeutic, but not anymore. So, I put it off, even though I need the break badly.
And then, there are a few other promises that I haven't kept to myself.
First, to join the gym and become a fit and muscular 75kg guy. (Never even got the registration form yet)
Secondly, to join the salsa class in Q-BAR, near Westin. (Excuse: Wednesday evening at 6 p.m.susah-lah, got work to do - although I seem to have time for other social appointments)
Thirdly, to join a script-writing class and write that defining Malaysian Thirty-Something local drama comedy TV series I've always dreamt of writing (Excuse: Yeah, right. As if I've got time to do this. Furthermore, there's SO many struggling scriptwriters out there - what makes you think that your story will be different?)
Fourthly, to climb Mt. Kinabalu (yes, did arrange and pay for the trip with friends but didn't go because Mum was hospitalized. Might never try to do it again - because got no friends to do it with maaa,...)
Fifthly, to meet new people and widen the very limited current circle of close friends (Excuse: WHERE AND HOW? Better to sit at home and watch Astro)
So many promises to keep, yet so many excuses. Heh!
It's gonna be a quiet Raya, without Mum. Kak is trying hard to fill that gap, but somehow it's not quite the same. I've come to realize that Mum was the warmth and glow in the house that we took for granted, all these while. :(
But Life has to move on, and I've got to start keeping some of these promises to myself. It can't all be about, work, passion, contribution and glory. There must be more to life than this - than the mundane, the necessary and the compulsory.
Certainly, I've got to start making space and time, for the beautiful things that God have created. You can't be happy, unless you're willing to make the effort for a more well-rounded life. The first step is always the hardest.
Langkawi, here I come. :)
posted by Stingrayz | 6:28 PM
8 Comments:
Thanks for the offer, Arysa. Appreciate it.:)
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to you, too. Time to keep those promises, Arysa. There's much to be thankful for - especially after your recent "promotion". :)
If you're anywhere near KLCC area, I'll drop by FF Menara Maxis and get you that registration form after Raya. Or better still, get one of the consultants to call and persuade you to join :)
Thanks, Voice. :) That's very kind of you. I'm usually around the KLCC area, but have never walked to FF before. Bet you're not surprised. ;)
But no, don't get one of their consultants to call me. I wanna think about this before I sign up (Another excuse - yeah right!)
Anyway, I'm prone to impulsive decisions by phone sales people. The last time it happened to me, I signed up for a timeshare I never even contemplated having. Haha!
Minamona - don't do the sunsets alone? If I had to wait for a partner that I'd wanna share a sunset with, I might have to wait another year, for a holiday.;)
Laksa Kedah? Gotta try that. Great big fan of Laksa Johor and Laksa Kelantan, but have not tried Laksa Kedah. Tempat mana yang best?
I've gone to Langkawi too many times, but it's still the place I enjoy most. Although the best scenic view I've had is from the top floor room at Pan Pacific Pangkor, facing the sea. Divine. :)
Will go on that break. Once the urgent stuff is over at work. Hahaha. That might be never. :)
Minamona: Please keep on writing in your blog. I've read everything in there and you're a damn good writer - very fluid and engaging writing. :)
Minamona: You reply fast! Tak beraya ke? Or do you like have a notebook attached to your arm, at all times? :p
Thanks for the lead on the Langkawi foodies. Will certainly follow-up on the Laksa Kedah place, though I'm not too keen on kuay teow sup perut. :)
BTW, what does mountain goat people mean? And I take that you've had a Langkawi sunset alone before? Heh.
Yeah, I know work will never end. But I wanna attempt this: to get a point in time when I would FEEL like nothing will go wrong at the office, without me.
Yeah, right. ;P InsyaAllah, that time will come. I have faith!
Wei! Stop complaining that you don't have time! You do, you just choose to spend it lazing around watching idiotic programmes like For Love or Money!!!!!
But I thought that WAS the point of taking a break - to watch programs like For Love or Money? No? ;) Hehehehe,...
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