Thank God for The Boys
Last night, was a very long night for me. Had some further bad news in my personal life. Sometimes, it's like these bad things conspire to happen to you at the same time.
My luck with women that I like, (or love, for that matter) is horrible. The women that I don't like, I tend to do much better with. Talk about ironic, huh? Perhaps, it's because I'm not "brutal" enough. I swear that it feels that gentlemen are out of fashion nowadays.
Every girl seems to want a man who couldn't care less about them. No attention, no support, no romance, no affection, no passion, no commitment - just be there and "exist" sort of men. I call it the "tak hairan" syndrome - the boys treating the women, like they're no big deal.
One of my ex-girlfriends of a few years ago, narrated this strange phenomenon to me, on one of her philandering boyfriends: "Dia tak hairan dengan I. And there were so many other girls that were after him, that I felt that I had to fight for him, to be worthy of his affection." I froze in amazed bewilderment.
Yesterday's news, hit me badly. I felt numb. This has happened to me, too many times. There is a consistent pattern here, within the women themselves. The women that I tend to pursue. They want men who don't really want them. Or where the emotional risk is low and they know they'll survive. It's perplexing, really.
Truth be told, I can't change them. But I can do something, about my tendency to fall for these types. There is a certainly a pattern here and I've got to break it. Doing the same things repeatedly and expecting a different result - is stupid.
Anyway, last night was a long night. I spent it alone in my condo, in front of my notebook. I was famished but I couldn't bear another night of eating alone - food tastes awful in perfect silence. The 6 hours after I received the bad news, felt like a lifetime. I felt really down - self-doubt started plaguing me. Is there something wrong with me - that everyone I've liked has left? Despite all my best efforts?
Then the Regent's Ville boys called me out for supper. They're the boys that I've grown up with, since I was 8 years old. I've known some of them, for a total of 24 years. It's amazing.
We went for supper in Subang Jaya and the moment I got into Ivan's car, it was a laugh a minute, with the boys. My emotional burden lifted and I forgot all my problems for the next few hours, amidst much laughter and thought-provoking discussions. The jokes are still as inane and silly as when we were teenagers, but we never seem to outgrow them.
That is the beauty of the Regent's Ville boys - there is no problem created that is big enough, to stop us from enjoying each other's company.
Yes, life can be so challenging and tricky at times. But I'm blessed with so much that's good too - like my lifetime friendship with the boys. And just because I'm crap in one major area of my life, doesn't mean that I have to be constantly unhappy. Life goes on and I always have the option of living like the glass is half-full, as opposed to half-empty.
Thank you, God, for the boys. Some of your blessings to me, are constant and beyond measurement.
My luck with women that I like, (or love, for that matter) is horrible. The women that I don't like, I tend to do much better with. Talk about ironic, huh? Perhaps, it's because I'm not "brutal" enough. I swear that it feels that gentlemen are out of fashion nowadays.
Every girl seems to want a man who couldn't care less about them. No attention, no support, no romance, no affection, no passion, no commitment - just be there and "exist" sort of men. I call it the "tak hairan" syndrome - the boys treating the women, like they're no big deal.
One of my ex-girlfriends of a few years ago, narrated this strange phenomenon to me, on one of her philandering boyfriends: "Dia tak hairan dengan I. And there were so many other girls that were after him, that I felt that I had to fight for him, to be worthy of his affection." I froze in amazed bewilderment.
Yesterday's news, hit me badly. I felt numb. This has happened to me, too many times. There is a consistent pattern here, within the women themselves. The women that I tend to pursue. They want men who don't really want them. Or where the emotional risk is low and they know they'll survive. It's perplexing, really.
Truth be told, I can't change them. But I can do something, about my tendency to fall for these types. There is a certainly a pattern here and I've got to break it. Doing the same things repeatedly and expecting a different result - is stupid.
Anyway, last night was a long night. I spent it alone in my condo, in front of my notebook. I was famished but I couldn't bear another night of eating alone - food tastes awful in perfect silence. The 6 hours after I received the bad news, felt like a lifetime. I felt really down - self-doubt started plaguing me. Is there something wrong with me - that everyone I've liked has left? Despite all my best efforts?
Then the Regent's Ville boys called me out for supper. They're the boys that I've grown up with, since I was 8 years old. I've known some of them, for a total of 24 years. It's amazing.
We went for supper in Subang Jaya and the moment I got into Ivan's car, it was a laugh a minute, with the boys. My emotional burden lifted and I forgot all my problems for the next few hours, amidst much laughter and thought-provoking discussions. The jokes are still as inane and silly as when we were teenagers, but we never seem to outgrow them.
That is the beauty of the Regent's Ville boys - there is no problem created that is big enough, to stop us from enjoying each other's company.
Yes, life can be so challenging and tricky at times. But I'm blessed with so much that's good too - like my lifetime friendship with the boys. And just because I'm crap in one major area of my life, doesn't mean that I have to be constantly unhappy. Life goes on and I always have the option of living like the glass is half-full, as opposed to half-empty.
Thank you, God, for the boys. Some of your blessings to me, are constant and beyond measurement.
posted by Stingrayz | 1:38 PM
1 Comments:
No, you haven't, Jasmine. But it's very kind of you, to say so. :)
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