Dilemma
Hypothetical question:
If you had to choose between these two options, which would you take?
a)something that feels perfect in the wrongest of situations, with an uncertain future outcome ; OR
b)something that feels good in an average situation, but with great potential, where the outcome is likely to be as you predicted it
I probably already know what my answer would be. But I just need to know what you guys think.
And when you're giving your answers, please specify your gender. I'm just hunting for statistical correlation, if any. ;)
If you had to choose between these two options, which would you take?
a)something that feels perfect in the wrongest of situations, with an uncertain future outcome ; OR
b)something that feels good in an average situation, but with great potential, where the outcome is likely to be as you predicted it
I probably already know what my answer would be. But I just need to know what you guys think.
And when you're giving your answers, please specify your gender. I'm just hunting for statistical correlation, if any. ;)
posted by Stingrayz | 5:26 AM
31 Comments:
I choose A. Gender : f
b), female.
a), female.
Okay. Here's my story. I'm a girl.
a) I fell in love with a married man. He was perfect - kind, compassionate, loving, gentle.. you get the drift. But of course, it's just so wrong kan? And I wasn't sure if he really wanted to marry me pun.
b) I met someone who's single.. and though he's not as passionate, loving, etc... at least, I don't have to share him with someone else. And yes, if all goes well, we might get married next year, Insya Allah.
So you see, sometimes, I think, we can't really get excited over 'love' (or lust??). Love is just not that adrenalin rush. Love is being there for each other, love is feeling comfortable, love is adjusting and accepting the person for who she/he is.
Kalau nak ikutkan hati, I'd love to be with the married man. But you see.. I'd probably be happy for awhile.. and then what? I'd be taking away someone's husband and father.. and that's not fair.
Love can be nurtured. If you ask me lah. Love can grow.
But that's just my humble opinion..
ps./ I wouldn't marry Bucky pun, sebab he's not a Muslim. It'll be too much a hassle to try and convert him. Hence my policy.. why make things complicated when there are many more fishes in the sea? ;)
Kook says:
If it's about love and relationships:
I've been through both scenarios:
With situation A, I took the risk and my gamble paid off. I married him and am currently the happiest bunny (with a baby bunny too!) ever.
With situation B (this was before I went through situation A), well....I convinced myself that it was the best path to take but when it came to the predictable outcome bit.....I started to come to the realization that fondness and love are not the same thing.
If this is about career choices:
I'd definitely go for (B) cos I like to be secure in my earnings + I like to see where I'm heading on the career path; especially at my age. Hence why I am in this 'just okay' job right now!
On the other hand, if you do not have other commitments & responsibilites and the outcome of your choice only affects you.....what harm can choice (A) make?
Heh heh....am I confusing you?
P/S.....there is no such word as 'wrongest'! Buat malu cikgu je.
Pojan:
Thanks. Expected it. :)
Dame Rosse:
Thanks. Surprised at your choice. :) But interesting,...
raksaksabiskut:
Expected your answer, too.
By the way, I think the drawings on your blog are great. You've got a lot of potential. Keep it up!
Pixie:
Thanks for the detailed sharing of your life story. I appreciate it.
But yes, I get your point. And I do respect your opinion, on this.
And the not marrying Bucky bit - it's a a good call, because more importantly, the boy cannot sing,...hehehhee,..
Kook:
Hey Mek! :)
Thanks for laying out both scenarios - although I was only asking about one of them.
But yes, I can strongly relate to what you mean by the difference between love and fondness.
It's important to know the difference, both when you're at the giving or at the receiving end.
Eh, cikgu - there's no such word as "wrongest", eh? Alamak! (What about wronger? Takde jugak ah - aiyo, I've been speaking Singlish! Hehehehe)
Is there a "rightest", then? ;D
Oh, was the question you asked refers to romantic love?
I wasn’t thinking about that when I answered a. – but of life’s decisions in general.
So, there will be exceptions to some situations.
Now, I’m curios to know why you expected me to choose a? :)
No point in me giving the answer la kan since you know what my choices in life has always been. In thought as well as in deed. But it is a great struggle. Remember dear, with (b) you have to redha. And I do not think you're there yet. Soon but not yet.
Oh in case you might not know, I am female. Yes, we have gender differentiation too on my planet!
it does, doesnt it? but soalan pun tak adil tu, tak kasi criterias yang sepatutnya... :)
btw, he does, and she lives in Hawaii.
Raksaksabiskut:
Because you're an artist. Creative types are usually romantics at heart and they don't settle. :)
Xena:
Yeah, I know. Not there yet, but soon.
Age makes one realize that sooner or later, what takes priority is the life you truly deserve.
And love which clouds self-respect and allows others to disrespect you, is not love that's worth hanging on to.
Self-respect must come first - no point dying for someone, who would not do the same for you.
More than just redha, that's the lesson I'm coming to.
Btw, where is your planet? Do they have cats there? ;)
Dame Rosse:
Oii, don't go blaming the question, k? :) You're just a pragmatist, I suspect. :)
Hawaii, huh? A javanese-italian girl in Hawaii,...does it get anymore exotic than that? ;D
Hawaii punya pasal, I'm going to make you my best friend! ;)
The answer depends on one's appetite for risk, given the potential rewards. For relationships, I do not think that the outcome is ever predictable, as suggested by situation (b). Life will take me up and down and all around, and therefore I feel I need to take a long term view. If by doing so, I tend to "average out" my outlook on life's potential experiences, then so be it: I'm in it for the long haul. My choice is (b), in the knowledge that the outcome is going to be uncertain anyway. Gender: male.
- Anon 2
Anon 2:
Very interesting perspective, as usual. Thanks! :)
Male (last time I checked at least), and my choice is B.
I have learnt the harsh way that there is no selfishness so small that it doesn't cause suffering. Not worth the long run.
hmmm...
nak jadi bestfriend kena ada pengeras.
1. teh tarik
2. naan+tandoori
3. kuih koci 2 keping.
sekian,
terima kasih.
It was always a) for me, female.
Keropok:
Well said. Thanks!
Dame Rosse:
Can we find all these things in Devi's Corner in Sri Hartamas, upon your return from Lion City? ;)
You don't ask much for new best friends, do you? ;D
Anonymous:
Thanks! :)
tokguru saya pesan,
pengerasnya jangan diminta berlebih-lebihan, biarlah ala kadar...
tapi kalau orang beri, kita cakaplah
"trimaaa kassseeeyyyyy"
Dame Rosse:
Tok guru you David Arumugam of Alleycats? :D
It's (a) for me, Male.
In my life, I have taken a few 90 (or more) degree turns, where the outcomes were totally uncertain. It was never the case of feeling perfect - more the case of feeling in a rut, sometimes comfortable, sometimes not. After making the decision, in some cases, there was a sense of liberation and euphoria (before reality hits!)
In general, things have turned out well. Looking back, perhaps there is only one particular instance, where I may have had much better potential by staying put.
shhh... jangan heboh, yuran perguruan tak bayar lagi ni kat dia.
A), female
I choose B. I want security - in my job, relationship, life, everything! Am not much of a risk-taker, I suppose.
And I'm all woman!
aiseh, macam lambat je kasi komen.
For me, if it's career i'd pick (a).
If it's love....
If I'm the one who start it, I'd go for (a). If he's the one who start it, I'd go for (b).
Haha..makes sense or not?
-the female voice-
Babu:
I understand, to a certain extent. A leap into the unknown sometimes helps a person grow, in unexpected ways.
Dame Rosse:
It'll be our little secret (together with all those who read this blog) ;)
Ylanda:
I expected that from you, dreamchaser. :)
Dian:
And that's as good a choice, as any, dear. :)
Sometimes, it takes more guts and maturity to stay happy with what you have, than to constantly search for the delirious high of a state of disequilibrium.
Voice:
Does not really make sense to me. But who says it has to? ;)
im so predictable ah?
Ylanda:
Not entirely, dear. :)
Not in a "running off to an island to manage a resort and teach underpriviledged children" sort of way. ;)
In that way, you're stil full of surprises. :)
i tot u would've expected that out of me.
u've always known i wanted to do that, wot.
Ylanda:
Yes, dear. But most people don't live their dreams.
And I'm very proud of you, that you're doing exactly that. :)
stingray,
came across ur blog, very very intersting i must say. kudos!
i would choose (a), have done in in the past as well...result not good..
gender:female through and through
az
Az:
Thanks for your response. :) And welcome to the blog!
This is very interesting site... »
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