Lessons in Life from Bowling

Life's a lot like bowling, if you ask me.

You're playing your own game and only you can determine how well you do. Sometimes, you play the game alone and sometimes, you play it as part of a team. But it's still only your game that you have control over - you don't have any control over anyone else's game.

Sometimes, you play badly and you drag the team down. Sometimes, you're the one that plays well and you compensate for the bad games of others. And sometimes, even the fact that you played well, is not enough to ensure victory.

If you're in a competition, you're actually playing against yourself. The fact that you play well, doesn't make anyone else worse off, directly.

The victor in each competition is the person who plays the best game, against himself and his own limits.

You can choose whatever method of delivery you want - stroker, cranker, spinner, lofter, snapper. You can choose to play a straight ball, a spin ball, a hook ball or a big-hooked curve ball. You can choose the ball surface that suits the lane and your game best - it could be made of reactive plastic, urethane, rubber or polyester.

You can choose where you play, be it at different bowling alleys and on what type of surface - oily lanes, short-oiled lanes, long-oiled lanes, dry lanes, striped oiling, etc. You could have your own equipment or you can use the house equipment. You can throw with your right hand, or even your left hand.

On some days, you play really well and you manage to string a bunch of consecutive strikes. On some days, you have no open frames - you at least, pick up a spare on every frame.

And on some other days - it can be tough going. Your ball is flat in impact and you keep getting the splits, regardless of what you do. Or you release it wrongly and you get a gutter ball on your first throw. Or you've done everything correctly, yet only to have your foot trip over the foul line, setting it off.

It's a game that gives you complete freedom - to play and to adapt, in any way you want it. You choose your style. You choose your equipment. You can choose a free wrist or to wear a wristguard. You adjust your game or equipment, according to the lane conditions and occasionally, to the weight of the pins.

Some people get coached and have a headstart, because they have better technique than
you. Some people have more money to throw - so they get to train more, have more type of bowling balls and have more exposure than you.

But none of that necessarily determines the winners - guts, the ability to adjust, knowledge, passion, focus and a cool head, is what usually differentiates the winners from those who don't win so often.

And everyone has a different meaning of what playing well, means. A 200 pins average is good for someone who usually averages 180, but it's low for someone who averages 220 pins. The only gauge and benchmark, is your own past performance.


Bowling, like life, is in reality, an individual game.

It doesn't make a difference whether you're playing it as an individual player or as a team captain. At the end of the day, it's your own individual score that matters.

But most of all, while winning, losing and playing well matters - don't forget to enjoy the game.

Playing well is not just about exceeding yourself - it's also about enjoying the game, even where you're not playing as well, as you think you should.

It's about your approach, your swing, your balance, your target, your execution, your follow-through and your consistency.

A lot like the qualities required in life, itself. Add focus, determination, patience and passion to that - and you may just have a star player in your hands. And if you're a good winner and a gracious loser - you would have grown beyond what the game can teach you.


But every bowler knows this - win or lose, each strike you get is a little miracle to celebrate, each time. You learn to savour each little moment of achievement - and learn to laugh at the near-misses and the occasional gutter balls. And you savour all the spares and lucky breaks, that you get along the way.

And you make sure that the splits don't break your spirit and to make sure that the next frame, will be the best shot you've ever made.

The most important thing, is to try very hard not to leave any open frames. Because misses can be painful and may be the source of many regrets. They're necessarily a part of the game that will happen before you improve - but with time and experience, you learn not to leave any (or fewer) open frames. And you don't look back - what's more important is the frame that you have not played yet.


It's an individual game. You play alone and it's only your score that will be calculated.

And you're never bigger or more immortal than the game. The game will go on, with or without you. The team will go on, with or without you - be it for better or worse. And you have to learn to let go - because the others must be given the opportunity to learn and make their own mistakes. The game cannot grow, if no one else learns.

And the game will teach you to be gracious about time. A time for everything under the sun. To start, to learn, to grow into a stronger player, to peak and finally, to withdraw - to make way for others, to have their turn to peak.

There will always be others that play better or worse, than you. There will always be someone, who will eventually, break your record. You are not timeless - you will be remembered, celebrated and appreciated today - and yet the day will come, when no one will remember your achievements.

And when you break it down and understand all the things that will come to pass, you realize that the most significant of things, are not necessarily the biggest or most glamorous of things.

You play it for the love of the game. You play it because you enjoy playing your best. You play it because of the camaraderie that the game brings, with fellow bowlers.

You coach others to play the game, because you enjoy seeing the colours that they contribute to the game. You play it, because you're enthralled by the sound of strikes and pins being smashed, even in your sleep.

Separate between what's important and what's not. Separate between what's lasting and what's fleeting and temporary. Separate between the victories that matter and the defeats that builds your character and resilience.

And it'll become much clearer to you, what's most important about the game. And it'll show you, the best way to play the game, without missing anything important or meaningful.

Enjoy your bowling. Embrace your life. The strikes are waiting to be enjoyed.