Dissecting Desperate Housewives
My irregular sleeping patterns (yes, the one where I find myself waking up at 5 a.m. sharp for no apparent reason) has been giving me an education.
5 a.m. television can be pretty interesting. There could be a thought-provoking movie or if you're lucky, there could be Oprah.
This morning, it was Oprah. And the issue centered around the "Desperate Lover/Housewives" syndrome (yes, similar to that runaway hit TV show, surrounding 4 gorgeous women with issues) - what was termed by Newsweek recently, as the "New Infidelity" - where infidelity is not just a man's domain anymore.
The first person who spoke on Oprah, on this issue - was a pilot's wife.
She blamed her infidelity on the communication breakdown with her husband - they just stopped talking about their problems. Angered, lonely and frustrated at the attention she felt she was not getting - she boldly ventured into an illicit affair, with another man, for the next 1 year.
Asked whether she felt any guilt at all about the affair, she said: "No. I just felt that I deserved to be happy. There was no guilt at all."
Unfortunately, her marriage fell apart when her husband discovered her infidelity, caused by a deliberate move by the lover, to send an ill-timed bouquet of roses, to her house. Her husband could not accept her and her marriage of 8 years, disintegrated.
Another woman, decided to confess her infidelities to her husband, after an 8-month affair. She was wracked with guilt and decided that she could not carry it on any further. Luckily for her, her husband accepted her back and they took steps to strengthen their marriage thereafter.
Another woman, left her husband, after the affair. When asked why, she said: "My lover taught and showed me that I could be a far better and happier person tomorrow, than I thought I could ever be yesterday." She had no regrets on leaving, even after the affair did not work out.
But most of the women, who managed to salvage their marriages/relationships, admitted one thing: that all they wanted their husbands to do, was to ask them - "What can I do to show you, how much I really love you? And what can we do to make you happier and our relationship stronger?"
They never really wanted another man - they just wanted to make it work well, with their husbands. (Perhaps, that's the basic difference between men and women, being unfaithful).
All men contemplating to have affairs with other people's girlfriends/lovers/wives - please bear this is mind. It's not YOU that they want, it's what you give that their husband doesn't. No matter what, they tell you.
THAT's the man they really want. The affair is just a convenient outlet, for things they cannot express to, or resolve with their husbands. Sometimes, the ingredients are already there in the relationship - it's just a matter of both parties, connecting the dots.
But most of the "victim" husbands, acknowledged that they saw the problem in the marriage and did nothing about it. And their strong blind faith in their wives, blinkered them to even the remote possibility, of their wives being unfaithful. Most of them, declared shock and disbelief, upon discovery.
The Newsweek editors also said, that they received huge responses from women, after their article on the "new infidelity". And most women just needed to be asked and their confessions would come pouring out like water - it's like a repressed truth, that needed to come out.
And the phenomena seems to be more common, than we think.
I wonder how many desperate girlfriend/fiancees/wives there are, in Malaysia. In quiet, and/or illicit desperation? Perhaps, the TV show "Desperate Housewives" is another form of "reality TV" after all.
Well, till the next 5 a.m. insomniac TV education therapy,...have a good weekend, folks!
5 a.m. television can be pretty interesting. There could be a thought-provoking movie or if you're lucky, there could be Oprah.
This morning, it was Oprah. And the issue centered around the "Desperate Lover/Housewives" syndrome (yes, similar to that runaway hit TV show, surrounding 4 gorgeous women with issues) - what was termed by Newsweek recently, as the "New Infidelity" - where infidelity is not just a man's domain anymore.
The first person who spoke on Oprah, on this issue - was a pilot's wife.
She blamed her infidelity on the communication breakdown with her husband - they just stopped talking about their problems. Angered, lonely and frustrated at the attention she felt she was not getting - she boldly ventured into an illicit affair, with another man, for the next 1 year.
Asked whether she felt any guilt at all about the affair, she said: "No. I just felt that I deserved to be happy. There was no guilt at all."
Unfortunately, her marriage fell apart when her husband discovered her infidelity, caused by a deliberate move by the lover, to send an ill-timed bouquet of roses, to her house. Her husband could not accept her and her marriage of 8 years, disintegrated.
Another woman, decided to confess her infidelities to her husband, after an 8-month affair. She was wracked with guilt and decided that she could not carry it on any further. Luckily for her, her husband accepted her back and they took steps to strengthen their marriage thereafter.
Another woman, left her husband, after the affair. When asked why, she said: "My lover taught and showed me that I could be a far better and happier person tomorrow, than I thought I could ever be yesterday." She had no regrets on leaving, even after the affair did not work out.
But most of the women, who managed to salvage their marriages/relationships, admitted one thing: that all they wanted their husbands to do, was to ask them - "What can I do to show you, how much I really love you? And what can we do to make you happier and our relationship stronger?"
They never really wanted another man - they just wanted to make it work well, with their husbands. (Perhaps, that's the basic difference between men and women, being unfaithful).
All men contemplating to have affairs with other people's girlfriends/lovers/wives - please bear this is mind. It's not YOU that they want, it's what you give that their husband doesn't. No matter what, they tell you.
THAT's the man they really want. The affair is just a convenient outlet, for things they cannot express to, or resolve with their husbands. Sometimes, the ingredients are already there in the relationship - it's just a matter of both parties, connecting the dots.
But most of the "victim" husbands, acknowledged that they saw the problem in the marriage and did nothing about it. And their strong blind faith in their wives, blinkered them to even the remote possibility, of their wives being unfaithful. Most of them, declared shock and disbelief, upon discovery.
The Newsweek editors also said, that they received huge responses from women, after their article on the "new infidelity". And most women just needed to be asked and their confessions would come pouring out like water - it's like a repressed truth, that needed to come out.
And the phenomena seems to be more common, than we think.
I wonder how many desperate girlfriend/fiancees/wives there are, in Malaysia. In quiet, and/or illicit desperation? Perhaps, the TV show "Desperate Housewives" is another form of "reality TV" after all.
Well, till the next 5 a.m. insomniac TV education therapy,...have a good weekend, folks!
posted by Stingrayz | 7:09 PM
5 Comments:
LoL perhaps that is true. Women are (in my own skewed opinion of course) loyal creatures at heart. They only stray when they cannot find what they need in that person. Men, however, have issues with fidelity. I wonder why...
No Stingray, that wasnt directed at you! We know you're one of the good guys *grin*
Tis not blind faith on the part of the husband.
Tis being taken for granted on the part of the wife. All men do that. Like the anjing and his bayang2. You men never appreciate what you have. Tis sad, but true.
Then you all tergila-gilakan those heartless bitches.
I cheated on a boyfriend. A one night stand. No guilt. On the other hand, it felt good. And only then did he come to his senses. But by then, it was too late. I realised that cheating on him meant that I didnt love him anymore. Because I'm as loyal as they come when in love.
So, so long Mister Ex. Now you've made me a heartless bitch, and you wish I was your gf again. ha ha. Loser!
Min, because women are physiologically designed to bear and rear the young, there is a natural propensity for women to seek, and be loyal to, a protector-male. But to win the evolutionary race, humankind has to multiply at a rate faster than they can be hunted down and eliminated by other species. This can only happen if men are endowed with a dash of gatal-ness (which, as all of us know, they are - and some more than just a dash). Humankind would not be where it is today - in terms of population - if our forefathers were 100% loyal to our foremothers.
Anon 2
Thanks for visiting! :)
Re: Desperate Housewives, a (male) friend told me that a wife almost never leaves the husband - even if the sex is bad. So if the wife cheats, then you know something is terribly wrong in the relationship.
*shrugs*
Lets talk about equality! Man steps out of boundary, ppl said it's the wife's fault. Tak pandai ambil hati. Wife steps out, boy.... hell breaks loose!!
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