Walking on Broken Glass
A true friend is someone who would have the courage to speak up to you, when he feels that you've done wrong - be it to yourself or others.
And I'm thankful for the friends whom I have, with such courage. I appreciate their efforts in keeping me on the straight and narrow - and for not judging me, on my past mistakes and all too human frailties.
And I'm thankful that at least, they would ask me for my side of the story, before they make up their mind about the "truth".
There are not enough of these sort of friends, around. Definitely, too few of them.
Some friends will just remain silent. Some "friends" will drag your name and personal life across town, so that it makes for lively dinner gossip and there's something about running their own friends down, that makes them feel good about themselves. Some will judge you and make their conclusions about you, based on hearsay and the explanations of only one side.
Some others are even worse - no matter how many times you help them, they simply cannot extend their sincerity, much less gratitude for help given.
There are many days when I pretend not to know about what they're doing. Simply because confrontation would be socially awkward and messy and I've never believed in making enemies. But I do know what they say and do (and occasionally, it hurts me) and somehow, I'm silly enough to accept it and remain friends with them. Although they'd probably be the first people to kick me, when I'm down.
Never mind. Some truths will remain buried while the lies take their place, because the truth is dispensable, to a lot of people. They don't know how to tell the truth to others, because they can't even tell the truth to themselves.
I know and God knows. What society thinks they know does not matter, in some things - even if I have to be the fall guy. I don't bear any grudges, because life's too short and holding hatred only poisons you from the inside.
And for some of the people whom I used to love - please be grateful that some things will remain buried with me. Because hiding the truth, has come at the expense of my own personal reputation, in the eyes of others. And on most days - it does not matter to me. All of us have moved on, with our lives.
I will forgive. I will pretend not to know. And on the days that we meet, I will still be warm and cordial to you. But if you're reading this (and you know who you are, if you feel guilty), please know that I know, what you've been saying about me.
It's just that I choose not to acknowledge it.
And I'm thankful for the friends whom I have, with such courage. I appreciate their efforts in keeping me on the straight and narrow - and for not judging me, on my past mistakes and all too human frailties.
And I'm thankful that at least, they would ask me for my side of the story, before they make up their mind about the "truth".
There are not enough of these sort of friends, around. Definitely, too few of them.
Some friends will just remain silent. Some "friends" will drag your name and personal life across town, so that it makes for lively dinner gossip and there's something about running their own friends down, that makes them feel good about themselves. Some will judge you and make their conclusions about you, based on hearsay and the explanations of only one side.
Some others are even worse - no matter how many times you help them, they simply cannot extend their sincerity, much less gratitude for help given.
There are many days when I pretend not to know about what they're doing. Simply because confrontation would be socially awkward and messy and I've never believed in making enemies. But I do know what they say and do (and occasionally, it hurts me) and somehow, I'm silly enough to accept it and remain friends with them. Although they'd probably be the first people to kick me, when I'm down.
Never mind. Some truths will remain buried while the lies take their place, because the truth is dispensable, to a lot of people. They don't know how to tell the truth to others, because they can't even tell the truth to themselves.
I know and God knows. What society thinks they know does not matter, in some things - even if I have to be the fall guy. I don't bear any grudges, because life's too short and holding hatred only poisons you from the inside.
And for some of the people whom I used to love - please be grateful that some things will remain buried with me. Because hiding the truth, has come at the expense of my own personal reputation, in the eyes of others. And on most days - it does not matter to me. All of us have moved on, with our lives.
I will forgive. I will pretend not to know. And on the days that we meet, I will still be warm and cordial to you. But if you're reading this (and you know who you are, if you feel guilty), please know that I know, what you've been saying about me.
It's just that I choose not to acknowledge it.
posted by Stingrayz | 7:42 PM
19 Comments:
I was going to say it's ok dear, but honestly it is not ok, so I shall not say that. What I am going to say is, let it be, there are other more important things in life. However, I shall repeat again what I have once said, the point of making mistakes is to learn from them. This applies to friendship as well. Keep well..
You are an exceptionally forgiving person. And I'm sure the kind of friend worth having but if the people you mentioned do not value the person that you are then maybe you should just dust them off your shoulders and really move on.....to better people and friends. In my lifetime I had two "such friends"-one of whom undertook certain acts which in my friendship bible was unforgivable. I told the person in question to take a hike and have never looked back ever since. Life is a much nicer place without such people in it. The other looked upon friendship as a means to an end-"a business end'-so bye-bye to that one too. The only sad thing is that what I had perceived as a genuine and caring friendship was in actual fact a farce. Life's like that.
The best to you. Better friends to come.
Xena:
I understand.
Yes, there are more important things in life to worry about.
The cat that eats no fish:
Yes, maybe due to my forgiving nature, I keep being kind and giving the benefit of the doubt to people who probably would not reciprocate the sincerity.
But yes - here's to better friends to come, in future.
And I truly count myself lucky, for your friendship and honesty in my life. Thank you, dear. :)
I guess now that you wrote about it, and you have the expectation that the person might be reading, you are acknowledging what that person is doing, yes?
I still remember that one comment on one entry which I directed to someone on your defense,and you actually deleted that someone's retaliating remark which you felt had attacked me personally. You're that kind of person, no wonder these people keep wanting to break and get you.
Manusia macam ni kalau tak jadi pendengki tak sah kot. Tak boleh tengok org hidup lagi senang dari dia. Saya rasa diorang ni cemburu dengan kamu sebab diorang nak jadi macam kamu sebenarnya. Tapi gagal.
When I'm really pissed off I speak in Malay. heh. You take care ok.
Suara:
Voice, I don't think anyone wants to be like me. My life is not all that great a place to be, dear. :)
And if you prefer to speak in Malay (without getting upset, that is;)) perhaps you should read my new Malay blog. ;)
E-mail me.
dear count...
bak kata jefrizain, musuh ada di mana-mana... kata dia lah.
ps: brapa banyak blog ni awak ada? macam real estate aje.
Dame Rosse:
If blogs were real estate, I'd be rich! ;)
Oiii, stop the Jefri Zain movie diet already! ;)
Hey, I see you are now Stingrayz instead if Stingray ... very creative ... I stand in awe!! :-P. I suppose now i shall call u Rayz. Speaking of names since voice has taken the trouble to be suara now, call la dia suara!
Xena:
No need to call me Rayz lah,...the name was changed for purely cosmetic reasons, as you might know. :)
But yes, maybe I should call Voice by her new name instead, no? :)
Xena - bior la dia, old habits die hard ;-) lol.
Suara,
Tak boleh bior je sbb I yg tension! :-) Penat je you dgn creativenya change from Voice to Suara (LOL!), the least is he must use it!
Suara:
See? Even the old can learn! ;D
Xena:
Oiii, takde kerja ke? ;)
Shall I creatively change your name from Warrior Princess to Vietnamese Warrior Princess? Hehehehe.
WE ARE NOT AMUSED! You have mentioned the dreaded V word twice already on your blog ... beware of incurring the wrath of the Warrior Princess!!!
dear count,
long live jefrizain...
dia ada sedara-sepai nama norazain.
p.s: will stop soon once i find other ol movie(s) to enjoy. perhaps 'panji semerang' *erk*
Xena:
Okay, okay - I take it back! :) Now slowly put that spear down,...
Dame Rosse:
Aiyo Nora Zain,...pi la tengok cerita Mat Bond pulak,...;)
Yeay! Xena, thanks for supporting me on my reverse psycho effort ;-)
Suara:
Reverse psychology never works on a psycho. ;) Heh! Heh!
dear Rayz,
suggestion: Ethan Hawke.
i feel it suits you very well :P
Miseducated:
Lauryn dear, what does that mean? :)What about Ethan Hawke? Non comprendo, seniorita,....do explain,....:)
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