I Don't Understand,...
I'm going to break my word about not talking about my feelings. Because I'm hurt tonight and I need to get it out of my system.
I don't understand how people blow hot and cold, even in the name of love. I don't understand how for all the regard that they seem to hold for you, an apology seems to be the hardest thing for them to ask for.
I don't understand how it goes when they say what you think and feel matters, and they go on to trivialize your feelings, in the next second. I don't understand how people say that you shouldn't go to bed angry and they do precisely that - keep you awake in anger and bitter disappointment.
I don't understand how pride always gets in the way of respect and promises chucked away like the lightest of waste paper. Even if the promises matter highly, to you.
I don't understand how people expect to be loved, when they refuse to reciprocate. To receive the warmth of love constantly, but to reciprocate only as and when they feel like it.
I don't understand why no matter how much kindness and thoughtfulness you invest in others, it seems to be so hard for people that you're close to, to return the bare minimum, on things that really matter to you.
I don't understand why people let these callous moments, ruin a perfectly good night. And that many of these nights put together, will break a perfectly whole heart. Even the mighty oak tree will falter, if you keep chipping at its base, everyday.
Regret, is a dismal and unconsoling company, to keep. A stitch of care and humility in time, will save you a grief of nine times, in the future. Lust may be the downfall of Man, but remember, Pride is the downfall of the Devil.
And if people understood that, their lives would be that much better - and they would try that bit harder. Because no one really wins, when you hurt the ones you love. It's a lose-lose equation. For in the long run, you will only receive what you give.
Only that, baby.
I don't understand how people blow hot and cold, even in the name of love. I don't understand how for all the regard that they seem to hold for you, an apology seems to be the hardest thing for them to ask for.
I don't understand how it goes when they say what you think and feel matters, and they go on to trivialize your feelings, in the next second. I don't understand how people say that you shouldn't go to bed angry and they do precisely that - keep you awake in anger and bitter disappointment.
I don't understand how pride always gets in the way of respect and promises chucked away like the lightest of waste paper. Even if the promises matter highly, to you.
I don't understand how people expect to be loved, when they refuse to reciprocate. To receive the warmth of love constantly, but to reciprocate only as and when they feel like it.
I don't understand why no matter how much kindness and thoughtfulness you invest in others, it seems to be so hard for people that you're close to, to return the bare minimum, on things that really matter to you.
I don't understand why people let these callous moments, ruin a perfectly good night. And that many of these nights put together, will break a perfectly whole heart. Even the mighty oak tree will falter, if you keep chipping at its base, everyday.
Regret, is a dismal and unconsoling company, to keep. A stitch of care and humility in time, will save you a grief of nine times, in the future. Lust may be the downfall of Man, but remember, Pride is the downfall of the Devil.
And if people understood that, their lives would be that much better - and they would try that bit harder. Because no one really wins, when you hurt the ones you love. It's a lose-lose equation. For in the long run, you will only receive what you give.
Only that, baby.
posted by Stingrayz | 10:44 AM
4 Comments:
Some people go through their lives blind, selfish or both. It's best that we recognise that and steer clear of their path.
There is nothing more painful that being tugged around by the one who has been entrusted with our hearts, and while it's good to forgive, one should never forget.
This is where your blog can be powerful. It serves as a reminder or marker of events so easily washed away by sweet words and lulled by soft touches. It helps strengthen the structure of the wall we must all erect in order to protect all that's good in our hearts from the pain of being hurt over and over again.
Najah makes an excellent point.
Humanity isn't all good. I discovered that a long time ago. But it isn't all bad either, so distrusting completely is wrong. Just take care - take care not to get hurt, and if you do, take care that the hurt doesn't fester and poison your faith in the goodness of others to come.
The problem is some of us, blinded my affection, so quickly forget what others are capable off. Some call it hope, some call it acceptance. I call it stupidity.
Be strong. But don't dabble in stupidity. You are wise, do not forget that. And do not give it up, especially for someone who isn't worth it.
And the broken record plays - we are here for you, listening.
Take care.
At the risk of being the devil's advocate by putting myself in these blind-and-selfish-people's shoes, here's my 2-cent's worth on the matter.
These persons have been hurt by the very same things that they are doing to you right now. And unfortunately they do not have any catalyst or motivation to pull them out of the vicious cycle. They felt your pain, but they are helpless to stop themselves from inflicting the pain because of their own inabilities to let go of their revengeful feeling and injustice done to them, by some other people.
I feel you, Stingray, but I feel them as well - because I've been on both sides of the equation.
I am working my hardest to get out of being the one who values self-pride over respect and refuses to reciprocate unconditional love given. And I'm lucky to have a good support system by people who still have faith in me.
But this is not about me, this is about you who is on the shorter end of the equation. And I can see that you've given them enough chances as it is. My advice is - leave them helpless cases. They do not deserve chances if they are not willing to help themselves and, like you say, try harder.
A parting thought - if there is sincere true 'love' involved, one would not intentionally hurt another. Just that.
Go for that much deserved vacation.. get away from all these unhealthy vibes for a while.. It can do wonder to your peace of mind...
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