Bangkit Phoenix?
I don't know what it is, but as the clock struck 12 for the New Year, a new spirit overcame me.
I decided to forgive some of the people who I feel have wronged me (except for dastardly brother dearest, who has not apologized, EVER) in the past. I sent them a new year SMS, as a mark of forgiveness. I didn't want to carry anger with me, into the new year.
And it felt like a good time to draw the line. Anger is a double-edged sword. Keeping it inside hurts me, too.
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Something else felt different this year. I've somehow magically regained my fighting spirit.
There's this feeling that I want to get involved again - in industry organizations, in policy issues, in national service and generally, in shaping change in Malaysia.
In the last few days, I've been writing to YuppieForum again. It felt good to be back. And getting involved in the debates, made me feel alive again. I have so much to say, so much to share, so much in there that I identify with, that gives me meaning. And besides, what the hell else is the point of all this reading, if I don't contribute something back, with the knowledge gained?
The young in this country are voicing out and asking questions. They want answers, they want a new worldview, they want trust between the races, they want a new Malaysia. They want thought leadership, if not walk leadership.
And I know that there's something I can give here. And it helps fulfill me - it satiates a sense of purpose that has always been there, that I've kept in abeyance.
Perhaps, the spark of faith inside me, has reignited? Maybe.
Maybe I'm tired of taking a backseat and watching this country go by. Maybe I want to do something about it. Maybe I feel that I'm not young anymore and I represent the 60% majority in this country, those below the age of 40. It is the stage for my age-group - there's no need for so much deference to the oldies, anymore.
Maybe because some things come more naturally to me, than futile efforts at romantic relationships. If I can't make love work, I should at least, make life work, right?.
But 2006 is looking good and feeling good, so far.:)
I decided to forgive some of the people who I feel have wronged me (except for dastardly brother dearest, who has not apologized, EVER) in the past. I sent them a new year SMS, as a mark of forgiveness. I didn't want to carry anger with me, into the new year.
And it felt like a good time to draw the line. Anger is a double-edged sword. Keeping it inside hurts me, too.
***************************************************************************
Something else felt different this year. I've somehow magically regained my fighting spirit.
There's this feeling that I want to get involved again - in industry organizations, in policy issues, in national service and generally, in shaping change in Malaysia.
In the last few days, I've been writing to YuppieForum again. It felt good to be back. And getting involved in the debates, made me feel alive again. I have so much to say, so much to share, so much in there that I identify with, that gives me meaning. And besides, what the hell else is the point of all this reading, if I don't contribute something back, with the knowledge gained?
The young in this country are voicing out and asking questions. They want answers, they want a new worldview, they want trust between the races, they want a new Malaysia. They want thought leadership, if not walk leadership.
And I know that there's something I can give here. And it helps fulfill me - it satiates a sense of purpose that has always been there, that I've kept in abeyance.
Perhaps, the spark of faith inside me, has reignited? Maybe.
Maybe I'm tired of taking a backseat and watching this country go by. Maybe I want to do something about it. Maybe I feel that I'm not young anymore and I represent the 60% majority in this country, those below the age of 40. It is the stage for my age-group - there's no need for so much deference to the oldies, anymore.
Maybe because some things come more naturally to me, than futile efforts at romantic relationships. If I can't make love work, I should at least, make life work, right?.
But 2006 is looking good and feeling good, so far.:)
posted by Stingrayz | 7:23 PM
12 Comments:
Love will only happen when you learn to throw away all your emotional baggages. May God show you the way to 'emptying' your heart before sending love to you.
oergh... i don't think i can manage what you plan... my work + added responsibilities + low pay are killing me... savet he world and tell me all about it!
go Ray!!
Anonymous:
Perhaps, you're right. My "epmtying" takes a lot of time, though - sometimes, it goes on 4 years,...
Thinktankgal:
Pancakes at Curve sounds divine! Let's drag Dinzie along!
We can trade movie reviews - I've just watched "Broken Flowers". Cool, interpretive piece.
Dinzie:
Dinzie, your job IS part of saving this country. A free press is a barrier against closed minds.
You're doing it already, girl! :)
Lita:
Yes! Let's go, Lita! Alex's cookie shop on Tuesday next week, jom? Drag Ms. J and Planman along!
ikan pari,
one wise man once told me that 'giving' doesn't enrich the recipient but enriches the giver. So givelah... ur expertise, ideas, opinions, forgiveness, time, passion... but always save a little bit for yourself.
and I sound like one philosophical air-head, I almost gagged myself.
ray, jom! will drag miss j and planman along. have warned alex..
i know now why i get this self-righteous vibe from your writing.
you sent smses to the "people who've WRONGED you". to mark your forgiveness of them.
this year maybe you ought to look in the mirror more. you never thought to seek forgiveness from the people you wronged. guess you don't like humble pie very much huh?
pancakes? cookies? urghh.. just wat the pregnant lady ordered! on a different note, way to go Sting! u go on n save the world k..we're all right behind u ;-)
ex-young spunky woman:
That's pretty good advice, ESW.
Lita:
Jom!
Anonymous:
For someone who hates my writing so much, you sure seem to come back a lot.
But never mind - just in case if I've ever wronged you before, I apologize. Even if it's because my writing inadvertantly rubs you the wrong way.
As for the others, my conscience seems to be quite clear. So, if you'd like to point them out where I've gone wrong in an e-mail to me - please do so.
And I've shared my share of humble pie. Repeated rejections and failures, give you loads of humility. Trust me on that one.
Marina:
Save the world? Hardly, my friend. More just like doing my bit, to preserve my own sanity.
I agree with the other anonymous. You are quit self righteous.
And pretentious too!
Anonymous 2:
Thank you. You are entitled to your opinion, too.
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