The Clarity in Solitude

There's something spiritual about the act of restraint, for the human soul.

Fasting is a good example. Withholding from food and drink allows you to empathise with others who have less fortunate and are not in a position to have three square meals a day. There are physiological benefits, too - like giving the digesttion system a break (and if any of you are like me, become more productive without having to take lunch)

In some religions, fasting also implies restraining oneself from socially unproductive acts (like gossiping about others)or acts of wanton self-gratification.

And the act of self-restraint teaches you focus. There seems to be more time for everything, when you're fasting. Time to reflect and to see where you're going, time to notice the things you've always taken for granted, time to think of God and to be thankful for all His mercies, big or small.

In many different cultures and civilizations, meditation and solitude is also encouraged, as a way of ascending onto a different plane of understanding. Whatever you call it, be it prophets, monks, walis, yogis, priests, warriors or even those who dabble in the mystical arts - meditation, solitude, restraint and reflection on life, has always been a part of their rites of passage.

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It's easy to understand why. The act of restraint strengthens our resolve and self-control. The act of solitude, meditation and reflection shuts out the "noise" from the outside world.

Sometimes, as human beings, we absorb too much. Too much data, too much information, too many opinions, too much complexity in business and/or politics. Or, even in our personal lives.

We listen too much, we give too much, we don't pause enough to ask where we're going with things. We live on instinct - reacting to things that are happening around us. We live on routine. We drink in cynicism like it's a natural drink from the cup of life, we're tasting. And sometimes, we live on feelings - and we stop thinking. We're so busy with what we want, that we stop asking ourselves what we need.

We don't spare enough time to listen to ourselves. We're too busy listening to others - and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Making sure that they're not short of what they need or want - devoting ourselves to their satisfaction or happiness. Most times, unreciprocated.

Have you realized that sometimes, the more time you spend with others - you lose a bit more of yourself? Sometimes, you compromise so much of yourself and what you stand for, in order to be inclusive, that you dilute who you really are.

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The last few days since the weekend, I've been "caving" in my condo. Sheer solitude. To work, to read, to think, to reflect - even to write. With nasi lemak and pizza lunches and burger dinners. And with Michael Buble belting out classic jazz in the background.

I get more done and I'm more productive. (Frankie seems to think so, too). There seems to be more time for everything, when you don't have to share. I'm not as emotionally turbulent. I can actually hear my voice, in my mind.

I've restrained myself (most times, at least) from calling people, who are like oxygen, to me. I've limited the company of friends, to those I really want to hear from and those who will not jump on my case, about my personal life.

And the solitude "fasting" has been good.

I had time to take stock of the status quo. To listen to what I truly want and to remind myself of what I deserve. To prioritize and to set out fixed parameters, for options, choices and decisions. I'm coming to the same sort of clarity on issues, as if I was giving advice to a 3rd party. Unclouded by emotions, usually evoked by her presence.

Everyone should have time like this. To keep in touch, with oneself and one's dreams. To stop and see the map again, while you're on the journey. And make the necessary course corrections, if any.

Your destination (or the companions on your journey) should not depend on the their destinations - it should depend on yours. Some things in life are meant to be, some things are incidental and is meant to teach you a lesson and some things, are purely meaningless accidents.

Today is my last day, of this particular "caving" session. It has been a rejuvenating period and maybe when things get a little muddy again in the future, I might actually have another "caving" session. It's good for the soul.

But I've still got a few more hours left, for today. And I want to enjoy it, to the fullest. The tranquility and clarity of solitude.