In Morrie's Classroom
Recently, I read "Tuesdays with Morrie" for the 3rd time.
There's something about the way this book is written, that touches me deeply - a raw, honest and uncomplicated look at life, from the perspective of a dying man, withering away from ALS or better known as Lou Gehrig's disease.
Though it's Thursday and not Tuesday, I thought I'd share some of Morrie's gems today with all of you. The take-home for each of us will be different - to each, his own.
***********************************
"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live".
***********************************
"Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things.
And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it. They're more unhappy than me - even in my current condition.
I may be dying, but I'm surrounded by loving and caring souls. How many people can say that?"
***********************************
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things that are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things.
The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning".
************************************
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in.
Let it come. We don't think we deserve love,we think if we let it in, we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, "Love is the only rational act""
************************************
"Sometimes, you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.
And if you're ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark.
Even when you're falling".
***********************************
"The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family. It's been quite clear to me as I've been sick.
If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, "Love each other or perish""
***********************************
"There is no experience like having children. That's all.
There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way - then you should have children"
***********************************
"I embrace aging.
It's very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two.
Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand that you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."
*************************************
And on people who wished they were young again, Morrie said:
"You know what that reflects? Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found your meaning in life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can't wait until you're sixty-five.
Listen. You should know something. If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen, anyhow.
The fact is, you're going to die eventually. It won't matter what you tell yourself".
**************************************
"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country. Do you know how they brainwash people?
They repeat something over and over. And that's we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good.
More is good. More is good. We repeat it - and have it repeated to us - over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all of this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.
Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'.
You know how I interpreted that. These people were so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and they were sort of expecting a hug back.
But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.
I can tell you as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."
***************************************
"If you're trying to show off to the people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you, anyhow.
And if you're trying to show off to the people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere.
Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."
***************************************
"I've learned this about marriage.
You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't.
Still, there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage.
If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. You're values must be alike.
And the biggest one of those values - is your belief in the importance of your marriage."
***********************************
"Every society has its own problems. The way to do it, I think, isn't to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture.
Look, no matter where you live, the biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. We don't see what we could be.
We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become.
But if you're surrounded by people who say 'I want mine now', you end with a few people with everything and a military to keep the poor ones from rising up and stealing it."
**********************************
"The problem is, we don't believe that people are as much alike, as we are.
Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about the family the way we care about our own.
But believe me, when you're dying, you see it is true. We all have the same beginning - birth - and we all have the same end - death. So, how different can we be?
Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you."
*************************************
"There is no formula to relationships.
They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.
In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that.
Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation, as you are about your own."
*************************************
"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away.
All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured, while you were here.
Death ends a life, not a relationship."
*************************************
Have a good Thursday, folks.
And for my Muslim readers - Selamat Menyambut Awal Ramadhan, this weekend. :) May it be a month of silent blessings for all.
There's something about the way this book is written, that touches me deeply - a raw, honest and uncomplicated look at life, from the perspective of a dying man, withering away from ALS or better known as Lou Gehrig's disease.
Though it's Thursday and not Tuesday, I thought I'd share some of Morrie's gems today with all of you. The take-home for each of us will be different - to each, his own.
***********************************
"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live".
***********************************
"Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things.
And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it. They're more unhappy than me - even in my current condition.
I may be dying, but I'm surrounded by loving and caring souls. How many people can say that?"
***********************************
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things that are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things.
The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning".
************************************
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in.
Let it come. We don't think we deserve love,we think if we let it in, we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, "Love is the only rational act""
************************************
"Sometimes, you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.
And if you're ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark.
Even when you're falling".
***********************************
"The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family. It's been quite clear to me as I've been sick.
If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, "Love each other or perish""
***********************************
"There is no experience like having children. That's all.
There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way - then you should have children"
***********************************
"I embrace aging.
It's very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two.
Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand that you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."
*************************************
And on people who wished they were young again, Morrie said:
"You know what that reflects? Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found your meaning in life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can't wait until you're sixty-five.
Listen. You should know something. If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen, anyhow.
The fact is, you're going to die eventually. It won't matter what you tell yourself".
**************************************
"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country. Do you know how they brainwash people?
They repeat something over and over. And that's we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good.
More is good. More is good. We repeat it - and have it repeated to us - over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all of this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.
Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'.
You know how I interpreted that. These people were so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and they were sort of expecting a hug back.
But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.
I can tell you as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."
***************************************
"If you're trying to show off to the people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you, anyhow.
And if you're trying to show off to the people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere.
Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."
***************************************
"I've learned this about marriage.
You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't.
Still, there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage.
If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.
And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. You're values must be alike.
And the biggest one of those values - is your belief in the importance of your marriage."
***********************************
"Every society has its own problems. The way to do it, I think, isn't to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture.
Look, no matter where you live, the biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. We don't see what we could be.
We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become.
But if you're surrounded by people who say 'I want mine now', you end with a few people with everything and a military to keep the poor ones from rising up and stealing it."
**********************************
"The problem is, we don't believe that people are as much alike, as we are.
Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about the family the way we care about our own.
But believe me, when you're dying, you see it is true. We all have the same beginning - birth - and we all have the same end - death. So, how different can we be?
Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you."
*************************************
"There is no formula to relationships.
They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.
In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that.
Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation, as you are about your own."
*************************************
"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away.
All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured, while you were here.
Death ends a life, not a relationship."
*************************************
Have a good Thursday, folks.
And for my Muslim readers - Selamat Menyambut Awal Ramadhan, this weekend. :) May it be a month of silent blessings for all.
posted by Stingrayz | 4:47 PM
7 Comments:
What an appropriate entry, and before Ramadhan too.
Selamat berpuasa to you too Bro!
Buka puasa one day?
If the nature of the business is inherently long term, then you wouldn't necessarily negotiate to "win". Any long term venture, to work, requires common values. Much like a marriage.
Anon 2
Aiya.. I've been checking your old blog, not knowing that you've moved.
Sudah lama tak check e-mail. :-)
aloha count,
selamat bersahur & selamat beriftar.
may you experience the peace and tranquility in the month of ramadhan.
Ervan:
Absolutely! Us bachelor boys would welcome any buka puasa invitation in Ramadhan.
And Selamat Berpuasan to you too, Ervan.:)
Anon 2:
Similar but not the same, I think. Common values are more important in a marriage than in a business venture.
In business, you don't have to love or like the person you work with, as long as both of you are professional and keep up to your end of the bargain.
After all, the reward is the destination - success.
But in marriage, the reward is the journey - and it simply cannot be done well, without common values and more importantly, full commmitment.
Sharen:
Hello girl! Welcome back! You have been missed!
As for LMD - yes, I'm planning to return to the site - someday.
Dame Rosse:
Same to you, Rosse. Have a blessed Ramadhan.
I secound sharen ...pi LMD tgk nothing and now u r here :-) bagi la link to here ..
flipped thru he book but didn't read it thoroughly per se .. tq for the notes. Good lessond there, esp on marriage and relationship.
omecool20:
Welcome back, bro'. :)
Sorry that I had to keep this link low-profile for a while, for certain reasons. It's the same reason I had to abandon LMD.
I think I've lost a few loyal readers in between, but if you know anyone else who used to read or comment on LMD - refer them over to this link, please.
But yes, you should definitely read "Tuesdays with Morrie" - it's a good reminder to us, of what's really important in life.
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