Dead Calm
No, am not going to discuss the Nicole Kidman movie.
That's just the way I currently feel about my life right now.
Business is progressing well and in the right direction, I've got good meaningful friendships which have been nurtured over a period of time with many, I enjoy my participation in the NGO and I'm slowly beginning to learn to be okay with eating alone or enjoying my own company, over a good book or a solitary karaoke.
Funnily enough, I don't feel anything anymore about the thought of being alone and not romantically involved with anyone. Have stopped pinning hopes on being married or having a family. For the first time in years, I'm truly in the moment.
And it's not so scary. It's either I'm in a good place or some internal psychological sedative has kicked in my brain, keeping me calm, about life.
I'm not quite sure.
They say that a life without things to look forward to, is not worth living. Well, I have many things to look forward to - but just not in the romantic relationships/family sphere. Everyone has a weakness which they just can't quite seem to overcome - and I guess that's just mine.
And I accept it. At least, for now.
I'm not quite sure what's causing me not to feel anything - but perhaps, it's a good thing, for the while.
It's consoling not to live in wait, for something. It makes each moment more meaningful - clearer, more appreciated and doing your best in each moment that comes.
Whatever it is that You're doing to calm me down, Almighty - thank you for this peaceful moment. I could do, with more moments like these.
That's just the way I currently feel about my life right now.
Business is progressing well and in the right direction, I've got good meaningful friendships which have been nurtured over a period of time with many, I enjoy my participation in the NGO and I'm slowly beginning to learn to be okay with eating alone or enjoying my own company, over a good book or a solitary karaoke.
Funnily enough, I don't feel anything anymore about the thought of being alone and not romantically involved with anyone. Have stopped pinning hopes on being married or having a family. For the first time in years, I'm truly in the moment.
And it's not so scary. It's either I'm in a good place or some internal psychological sedative has kicked in my brain, keeping me calm, about life.
I'm not quite sure.
They say that a life without things to look forward to, is not worth living. Well, I have many things to look forward to - but just not in the romantic relationships/family sphere. Everyone has a weakness which they just can't quite seem to overcome - and I guess that's just mine.
And I accept it. At least, for now.
I'm not quite sure what's causing me not to feel anything - but perhaps, it's a good thing, for the while.
It's consoling not to live in wait, for something. It makes each moment more meaningful - clearer, more appreciated and doing your best in each moment that comes.
Whatever it is that You're doing to calm me down, Almighty - thank you for this peaceful moment. I could do, with more moments like these.
posted by Stingrayz | 3:50 PM
7 Comments:
Noni:
I can be shiny and happy - have you got any marijuana? ;)
Pseudonymous:
Yes, a man needs jiggy jiggy. But sometimes, that's the exact thing that lands you, into hot soup. ;)
So now, I've become like that phenomenon in the movie, Tiga Abdul - you can smell the food, but you can't eat it. ;)
If I keep this up for the next 3-4 years, I'm sure I'll find that I can levitate, too! ;)
(ZR: If that's the condition, you can levitate up to Kilimanjaro, brother!)
Hey.. now that you're calm.. and I'm back in KL for good.. let's go out for banana rice
p/s:I remember someone owes me banana rice.. wonder who....
You'd betta stay this calm on Sunday dear. Jak gih keleh ko Nasha Aziz jah, awok tohok bola atah my kaki, I will definitely sekeh your head! he he! ;-P
Sharen:
Haha! You have a long memory, dear. Okay-lah, banana leaf rice it is, maybe over Chinese New Year weekend. :)
Thinktankgal:
Yep, you told me so. :) But now that I'm going through it, can confirm maaaa,....;)
Pink-Fins:
Aloh la mek weeee,...demo banyok do'oh doh injured gi holiday, tok ke lah kawe nok drop bola bowling atah kaki demo,..haha!
Tapi kalu Nasha kecek nga kawe, kalu kawe jadi gagap,...please sekeh palo kawe,...hahahaha!
Why is the picture of Stingray singing or shall i say cro'akeing away to Gloria Gaynor's - I Will Survive in BSC on Sunday alone playing in my head..
thoughts ruined for the day.. tainted memory & brain cells with that picture..
animation..
*hand banging on head" Homer Simpson style..
hahahahahahaha..
p.s.. I know someone who knows someone who is the cousin of someone else's brother in law's collegue who has access to the good stuff to make you shiny and happy.. ;)
Amaran Kerajaan Malaysia: Dadah adalah merbahaya untuk kesihatan.
JD:
Gloria Gaynor? Nope. More like "Mungkin Nanti" by Peter Pan. ;)
But that image of singing alone in karaoke, is correct. Hehe.
And our dear Samy Vellu pronounces "dadah" as "dada". I agree with the statement on both pronunciations! :)
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