First Deletion: A Note to Captain Titanic

I have deleted the blog entry "The Fall of Captain Titanic" from my blog.

It is the FIRST entry that I have EVER deleted from this blog and the only memory that I will ever have of that piece, will be the draft of that entry.


What merits this amendment?

It's not fear, because I don't write in this private forum (with hardly 20 loyal readers) with fear - NO ONE tells me what or how to write, in this little private space of mine. It's not regret, because I don't usually regret what I say in these blog entries. I meant them, when I said them.


I'm deleting that entry, because it matters to me, so that Captain Titanic does not regard (or imagine) me as his enemy. Because I am not - he only has to count the number of times that I've been there for him and Yuppie Forum. And if he doesn't know yet, he could ask some of the people around him.


It's a unique relationship we have - some of his values and reactions are anathema to me - but yes, due to our past history, I am protective of him, in some strange, twisted way. It's like honour amongst the "less-than-friends".

To Captain Titanic - for the umpteenth time, please know this.

NO ONE is after your position - it's not the office of the President of the USA. They're just waiting for you to retire gracefully, at the end of your term. You will remain unchallenged (unless you overstay your age limit). Of that much, I am certain.

I don't want your position. I have my own organization and circle of influence, the effectiveness of which I'm relatively happy with.

Look at the facts. I was the first to resign from one of your Committees, when I disagreed with you. This is your organization and you led it and I respected that. If I didn't agree with it, I should leave, which I did.

Despite leaving the position, my contribution to Yuppie Forum continued, in one form or another.

Yuppie Forum's first press release, the roundtable session (which I originated), the moderating session in one of the LM sessions, the white paper on education, the representation on the NITC (I picked to represent Yuppie Forum, not the other way round), some of the earliest days of the charity programs, the bowling team (which used to be the most active unit in the Sports Committee), sessions with international leaders, my contributions on Yuppie Forum online discussions, etc.

I left my position in Yuppie Forum, because I did not agree with your way of doing things. But I never left you or Yuppie Forum. I believed that just because I disagreed with you, it does not make it a bad organization. It still had a lot of promise and I still gave more than my fair share, for someone who disagreed with the leadership (i.e. you, Captain Titanic).

And I've proven to you before, that if our argument online, risked making you look really bad in front of 10,000 people and therefore, further damaging yourself - that I would apologize, even when I have no cause to do so. Because if I fought fire with fire (which I bloody well could), it is everyone's "home" (i.e. Yuppie Forum) that will be burnt down.


Secondly, I'm not the Chief Opposition of your leadership, that you imagine. I would LOVE to take the credit for all the things that you imagine me "scheming" with a whole string of people (it's a credit which I'm sure KJ gets often, too), but honestly, I'm not THAT good. If I was, Pak Lah would have hired me, by now.

Please have a little more faith in people (at least those that you have known for 10 years) and stop being paranoid.


Thirdly, you have always known my stand on things. If I disagreed with you, you would KNOW about it. There are a whole bunch of people around you, whom it would be like extracting teeth for them, to tell you what they really think of you. They don't even try to save you when you're "jumping down a cliff".

But with me, you always get a spade, that's called a spade. Except that it's a figure of speech and you'd never have it impolitely hit on your head.

Now that I've been kicked out from Yuppie Forum's online forum, I hope there are others that will dare to be honest with you.


Fourthly, I'm doing this, because I want you to have a little faith in people and better judgement. Not everyone who disagrees with you is your enemy and not everyone that agrees with you, is your true friend.

I can at least, identify one person whom you trust and whose company you keep - when the sky is falling on you - he will be the first, to abandon your side. Learn from the Anwar Ibrahim and Zahid Hamidi episode - loyalty without courage, can be such a treacherous thing.

We don't have to like each other and we're perfectly entitled to be different. But I want you to know that if someone from the outside of our circle of friends intended you harm - I would defend you. Not because I think you're right, but because you're capable of a helluva lot better, in future.


Some of your best traits are already similar to Dr. M.'s. And if you could avoid emulating some of his perceived worst traits - then you'd be on your way to being a better leader than he was. I still have faith in you.

Some of my closest friends, would perceive this as an act of weakness and misplaced faith for someone who they think does not deserve it.

For my sake and for yours, Captain Titanic - I hope you prove them wrong. This gesture comes difficult for me but I hope the story below would make it clearer to you, why I'm doing it.


I remember a story related by Lee Kuan Yew of how Dr. Mahathir (when he was a young medical student) never forgot how a Singaporean Chinese cab driver had sent him to the servant's quarters in Singapore - he never forgot what he regarded as a deep, personal insult and how it coloured his perception of the Singaporean Chinese, many years later, in Parliament.

And it became part of the Malay "ultra" group pressure on the Tunku that led to Singapore, being separated from Malaysia.

For every drop of a cynical moment that you save someone from, there may be a ripple of horrible future consequences, for the person and others, that may be avoided.

Good luck to you, Captain Titanic.