Blessings and Borrowed Things

Have you ever had a blessing you didn't want? I know some people who do.

One girl was never quite comfortable with how pretty she is. (And yes, she's quite pretty). She's not comfortable on being noticed for her beauty, she's not comfortable with being complimented on it or pursued by anyone, for it. She's self-conscious about walking in public - as she knows that there are men staring at her. (This is not perasan on her side - I was easily one of those men ;))

And from what I can tell - anyone that looks remotely interested in her, based on her looks (even if just initially) will get struck off the list. Perhaps, she wants to be appreciated for her other qualities. Which would be easier, if she looked like the back of a Proton Juwara.

But the truth is, sometimes we're born with blessings. Some of us are born looking like Monica Belucci. Some of us are born into a rich family or the children of kings, presidents, prime ministers or ministers. Some are born bright and with many talents. Some can extract money from stone.

And the world is generally attracted to things beautiful, extraordinary and above their (current) reach. It's in their nature. They need their heroes and heroines. They need to aspire to a level of beauty, wealth, success, strength or intellect. And these blessings to them, are meant to be shared with the rest of the world.

That's why they stare at things of beauty (be it in its external or internal manifestations). Everyone wants a beautiful woman, a handsome man, a beautiful car or a beautiful house. When was the last time you saw someone say: "I want something ugly". Never.

But what do you do when you're blessed with some of these things? And how will you know if people like you for you or just the superficial things that you're blessed with?

For instance, you can hope that the world will change and stop staring at you, because it's rude. That's not likely to happen, at least, till hell freezes over.

Or you can hide from the world and not let them stare at you or reach out to what's special about you. But if you live behind walls, the world will be a very limited four corners for you. And you will learn nothing new, walled-in by your own fears.

Or,..you can accept it and thank God for the blessings, that you have. The world will do what it wants to do. But you have to have to live your life and make the best of what you have.

For those blessed - yes, it's true that some people may just want you for your looks, for your power, your wealth, your lineage and a host of other blessings you're born with, or have acquired over your lifetime. There are people like that, out there.

But not everyone is hopelessly shallow. And you have to trust that for some people, beauty is only skin deep. It'll get you to the front door, it'll buy you the first 10 minutes, but after that, you better have something to say. And if you lack that beauty on the inside, no amount of beauty on the outside, will save you in their eyes.

The only thing worth doing is to take time out, to sift and to discriminate between the glass and the diamonds. Living life means being willing to take the risk of cutting yourself with broken glass and stones, before discovering the unpolished diamonds, you want to keep.

As the old saying goes - a ship in harbour is safe, but that's not what it's for.

Don't be afraid of your blessings. Embrace them and use that advantage for yourself and for others - as long as it's used in a good way and for a good cause.

Running away from your blessings and resisting and denying it, is equivalent to having a mind and never thinking, or a heart and never feeling. Yes, sooner or later, it'll probably make you forget that it's there.

But what a waste it would be. What an awful waste of God's blessing.

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Are you entitled to be unhappy, if the only thing that you've ever wanted, is the only thing that has ever escaped your grasp?

My mind tells me that it's so unreasonable to behave that way. I mean, that's life isn't it. Like the song lyric goes - "You can't always get what you want". Life is full of things, of which perhaps, half (or less) of what we desire, will never come about or will never reach the level we want it to.

But is that any reason to be unhappy? As my heart feels it, my mind scolds it for its brashness and unreasonable demands. Who the hell do I think I am - that I think that I'm entitled to what I want?

We live on borrowed time. And if the most precious of all things are borrowed, then it is reasonable to assume that all other things we have, are borrowed too - our loved ones, our wealth, our health, our good looks, etc. We have them for the time permitted to us.

And if all things we have are borrowed and all things in the world are finite, it's reasonable to assume that different things are being lent to us, in different proportions. And the same goes with how we utilize the things that are borrowed to us.

Some will have more money, some will have more brains, some will be more beautiful than you, some will be more successful, some will have a happier family, some will marry the girl or guy of your dreams, etc. And we really can't explain why some people have more and why some people have less, all the time. Or decide on who is more deserving and who is not.

Perhaps, those are the things that they were meant to borrow, from life. And that has been decided by a Power higher than us.

But if we take the perspective that everything is borrowed and nothing is meant to be permanently yours and which you are fully entitled to, by virtue of effort/merit - then, the perspective changes.

You can't expect anything - you're only entitled to be grateful to receive the blessings that you have, in the time that you're given them. It could be a lifetime for some, it could be a fleetingly beautiful moment, for others. But it's all on loan.

And I guess that's the truth of the matter, for me. That just because one big major thing is missing in my life, doesn't mean I'm entitled to be unhappy - or to stay unhappy.

I have been blessed with so many beautiful moments - though none of them, are for as long as I would like them to last. But the range, depth and the variety of the emotions/experiences/moments with each person and event has been at the very most, intensely rewarding and at the very least, interestingly educational.

We are all intended for different things in life. Hence, we are lent different things in different proportions, for us to tread the path chosen for us. Just to see whether the choices we make, are based on the guidance given. Until we are ordained to return to the final destination - where we let go of all borrowed things and return alone to Him.

I don't own anything here. There's no such thing as deserving or undeserving in life - providence takes its own path and makes its own choice on whom to be gracious to.

With every emotional attachment we build with one hand with every event/person in our life, we have to correspondingly prepare to let go, with the other hand. Such is the paradox of blessings - today, they may come and tomorrow, they may go.

And hence, the appreciation of God's blessings - nothing amplifies the concept of submission more, than to know you have no way of permanently keeping the things that make you happy - you can only pray that it's meant for you, for the longest time possible or for the period of your life.

I'm not entitled to be unhappy, when life is not as perfect, as I hoped it to be. God never promised us happy endings in this world - only in the next, for true believers. Heaven was not meant, for this world - only the pursuit of heaven is.

In this world, you can only make the best of it, while it's still "on loan" and return each or all parts of it, when it is decided that your time with it, is over.

My head understands this, clearly - but my heart is slow, to follow. Perhaps, one day, God willing.