Kisah Benar - Romeo Yang Kantoi

This one is definitely for the history books - of the social outing disasters variety.

I was at The Room last night with Rizal and Ms. Vavavoom. Across the bar, not far from us, was this very attractive girl in a tank-top, with nice long dangling ear-rings. I wasn't complaining - good music at The Room was always better, when there's a sight for sore eyes. Anyway, for the purpose of this story,let's call her Hot Babe (how imaginative, Stingray,...)

Rizal pointed out to me that Hot Babe kept looking in our direction. I didn't think anything of it - Rizal usually gets more than his fair share of attention from the ladies and that's pretty normal. Worst-case scenario, she was a lesbian and she was checking out the lovely Ms. Vavavoom.

Over the course of the night, though - the "wireless" communication began between Hot Babe and I. I looked, she looked back, I smiled, she smiled back, I laughed at the silly ass of a state royalty making a fool of herself on stage, she communicated back in sign language and laughed too. She raised her wine glass in a toast and I raised my glass of Coke, in return.

The stage was set, for an introduction. I'm generally shy, when it comes to chatting up strangers in a bar, therefore I needed a lot of reassurance. And I felt had it, that night.

After Rizal left with Ms. Vavavoom, I coolly cruised over to the seat beside her and was ready to introduce myself.


And the ensuing conversation began:-

Stingray: "Hi, I'm Ray"

Hot Babe: "Hi, I'm Francesca Bruni" (not her real name, of course!)

Stingray: (In my attempt to get a conversation going) "So, where do you live?"

Hot Babe: Not so nearby,...but my car is just downstairs,...(*smiles and flirtatiously winks*)


Stingray: (The perfect Malay word for my reaction, here is "tergamam" - there was a good 7 seconds pause, out of surprise. She can't be talking to me, right? My first instinct was to look behind me, if she was talking to someone else - thankfully, I managed to resist that urge. But that, of course, did not stop me on choking on my reply,...)

Stingray: (In order not to be presumptious - repeats the question in a more serious tone) "So, where do you live again?" (At this point, I was really beginning to regret that question,...I'm such a doofus,...)

Hot Babe: (Looking surprised at the "rebuff" and the bait not taken, slowly recoiled into formal stance and replied) "Somewhere near Mid-Valley"

Stingray: "Ah okay,...I live in Kelana Jaya,...." (Interesting fact, doofus. Apalah bodoh sangat aku niiiii,..I was thinking)

Hot Babe: (Totally in a formal mode and disinterested mode, now) Oh, okay.


The next 2 minutes of conversation, was awkward and stilted. It was obvious that the moment was lost.

Her ego was probably slightly dented and I really wanted to bash my own head in, for mistakenly letting the opportunity go, out of sheer panic. She must have thought that I was a really "skema" boy.

I'm such a doofus. A complete idiot! Aaaarrrggghhhhh! Is it any wonder, that I'm still single and bored?

(But thanks Rizal and Ms. Vavavoom for consoling me at supper. You guys made me feel not so stupid, which I was. What would I do, without the likes of you guys? :))

But maybe I should start working on those "comeback" lines, yes? ;)