Why People Hate You
Most of the time, I know why the people who hate me, hate me.
And that's good enough for me.
Not all human beings are meant to get along, not everyone is aligned in values and outlook in life, not everyone's demeanour is well-matched to make them friends - sometimes, they just simply rub other people the wrong way. Or they're just opposed to each other in all the core stuff that matters.
And that's okay too. I tend to stay away from the people I hate - or those who hate me. It's simple.
Although very, very occasionally - I find someone who pretends to like me, but actually hates me.
Who says nice things to my face and puts me down (in major and minor matters) in front of others. A person who calls me "brother" - but treats me like a villain, in secret.
It's even more puzzling to me, when I've thrown some major growth opportunities his way - and have paved the path for him, should he want to grow as a leader of others.
Maybe even throw him a financial lifeline, when he needed one, because I saw his potential - when others did not (and they constantly question me "why did you pick him?" - and I reply "because he has potential that he doesn't yet know about"). But the truth is - potential is just an imagined thing, unless and until it's actually realized.
Someone whom I've been there to witness some of the major moments in life. Someone whom whenever he organized a function, I would make it a point to turn up, to support it.
Why would someone I have treated that well, like that spit in my face (or worse, to my back?) I'm not expecting truckloads of gratitude, but some decency and due respect, would be nice.
Maybe it was something I did - though I wish he would tell me - although I don't remember a single moment, when I've ever wanted to hurt him.
Maybe it's my nature that he hates - but he could at least, tell it to my face, before he tells the rest of the world.
Maybe I should stop giving the benefit of the doubt, to people who tear me to shreds and who attempt to pour sand into my rice bowl.
Because that's not what friendship is - and it's even further from brotherhood.
As a close colleague once remarked "brotherhood is when we build upon each other" - it obviously is a 2-way street - it must be reciprocal.
You can't be friends - with someone who in essence, by the way he treats you - despises you. No matter what your good intentions are.
You know what the sad part is? - even after I clearly know what he's up to, to damage me - I still don't have the heart to retaliate or to sever ties. :(
And that, objectively speaking - makes me a very big fool. An absolute idiot.
I will not deal with you for your actions, brother - but God will.
And that's good enough for me.
Not all human beings are meant to get along, not everyone is aligned in values and outlook in life, not everyone's demeanour is well-matched to make them friends - sometimes, they just simply rub other people the wrong way. Or they're just opposed to each other in all the core stuff that matters.
And that's okay too. I tend to stay away from the people I hate - or those who hate me. It's simple.
Although very, very occasionally - I find someone who pretends to like me, but actually hates me.
Who says nice things to my face and puts me down (in major and minor matters) in front of others. A person who calls me "brother" - but treats me like a villain, in secret.
It's even more puzzling to me, when I've thrown some major growth opportunities his way - and have paved the path for him, should he want to grow as a leader of others.
Maybe even throw him a financial lifeline, when he needed one, because I saw his potential - when others did not (and they constantly question me "why did you pick him?" - and I reply "because he has potential that he doesn't yet know about"). But the truth is - potential is just an imagined thing, unless and until it's actually realized.
Someone whom I've been there to witness some of the major moments in life. Someone whom whenever he organized a function, I would make it a point to turn up, to support it.
Why would someone I have treated that well, like that spit in my face (or worse, to my back?) I'm not expecting truckloads of gratitude, but some decency and due respect, would be nice.
Maybe it was something I did - though I wish he would tell me - although I don't remember a single moment, when I've ever wanted to hurt him.
Maybe it's my nature that he hates - but he could at least, tell it to my face, before he tells the rest of the world.
Maybe I should stop giving the benefit of the doubt, to people who tear me to shreds and who attempt to pour sand into my rice bowl.
Because that's not what friendship is - and it's even further from brotherhood.
As a close colleague once remarked "brotherhood is when we build upon each other" - it obviously is a 2-way street - it must be reciprocal.
You can't be friends - with someone who in essence, by the way he treats you - despises you. No matter what your good intentions are.
You know what the sad part is? - even after I clearly know what he's up to, to damage me - I still don't have the heart to retaliate or to sever ties. :(
And that, objectively speaking - makes me a very big fool. An absolute idiot.
I will not deal with you for your actions, brother - but God will.
posted by Stingrayz | 4:26 AM
5 Comments:
aloha bruder
i do not know why they hate you.
but on the lighter note...
i think they hate you because you still owe them nasi lemak and teh tarik... relek ah, usik je.
life is never perfect. people is never perfect. people have flaws. people who are talam dua muka just as what you described them, they will be all sugary and still bitched about you.
do take great care of yourself, do not let these people jeopardise your happiness and success.
cheers.
It's not sad la that you have no heart to retaliate, my friend...it's logical. Retaliation action would put you down to the same level as that person is, and no way you're stooping to that, much as the nafs is asking you to. Aight?
Yes, let he account himself to God when the time comes. As long as he doesn't physically kill you a la the Mongolian model, ok lah no one needs to avenge anything ...;)
But I do wonder sometimes, this kind of two-faced people. Tak penat ke ek keeping up all these pretenses? Susahkan diri sendiri betul la.I know one life also very penat already. haha.
Well, I guess, an eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind...
maybe one day you can forgive, but never never never forget.
Dame Rosse:
Thanks for the good advice and caution.
And no - I will not let them jeopardize my happiness and success. They're not worth it.
Suara:
I think these people think that they're so smooth, that they'll never get caught, being two-faced.
But as the Malay saying - "sepandai-pandai tupai melompat,...akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga".
Saya menunggu tupai taubat atau jatuh. Both options are okay with me - I still have the space for forgiveness, for people who know their limits.
Ervan:
True, as Gandhi once said.
But Gandhi never told us to take us lying down.
Resist and fight if you must, with your thoughts, your pen, your voice, your actions. Don't fight on the enemy's terms - fight on your own, in your own way.
Najah:
I'm slowly learning that lesson, dear. Slowly, but surely - nowadays, I don't forget so easily - nor do I forgive, so easily.
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