Mimpi Pari

"The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter"

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Location: Malaysia

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Patah Yang Tersembunyi

Tiap langkah ke depan
ku rasa makin sesat
Semakin tua, semakin matang
tapi bagai menggapai bahagia
yang tidak
mungkin

Tiap hari berlalu
aku merayu menahan masa
untuk tunggu,
jangan persiakan mudaku
dalam hanyut hidup
sebatang kara

Tiap minggu berlalu
Dalam tiap kejayaan bermakna
yang terasa kosong,
kerna tiada cinta 'tuk merai
bersama,
Aku patah di dalam

Tiap bulan berlalu
Dimamah usia
dengan hidup lakonan berulang
tanpa arah,
Berlari dari realiti
kehidupan pincang

Tiap tahun berlalu
Aku persoalkan, ya Tuhan
arti ujian dan
takdirMu bagiku,
Aku bagai retak dalam sempurna,
patah yang tersembunyi

Separuh hayat telah ku sampai,
Masih mencari akhir garisan
dugaan Mu,
Dalam sabar terhakis haus,
dipangku bara harapan
yang makin malap

Mungkinkah aku
diantara insan
yang akan ajal semangatnya
sebelum hayatku?
Ya Tuhan,
Aku masih menunggu jawapan.



Nukilan:
Stingrayz
1 Jun 2007

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant! You describe what many are feeling, quite well. It's sad, but true.

I hope you find what you''re looking for. All the best!

9:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous is right. It is a feeling that many are sharing.

But what if you do find that person yet it still does not make you happy? What then?

Would you stay?

2:51 AM  
Blogger Stingrayz said...

Anon # 1:

Thanks! I need all the good wishes I can get. :)


Anon # 2:

Good point.

I believe that happiness is never an absolute state - it's a relative state, where you have more of the things you want, than the things you don't.


To answer your question - I think it's 2 things: the right person and the right circumstances.

I have found the right person that I've been crazy about, at least 4 times in my lifetime - but the circumstances were never right.

And in all 4 times, I was never the one who left. They didn't want me badly enough.

To answer your question: given the right person (read: I'm in love with her) and the right circumstances (read: she's in love with me, single, uninvolved and unattached to a 3rd party, not traumatized or fearful from past relationships, not hanging on to past lovers, etc) - I would stay, regardless of how tough the going gets.

Given the above - yes, I would stay.

4:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

seindah bahasa, sejujur kata-kata, semoga doa yang dipinta sampai masa akan diperkenankan jua.

:)

12:34 AM  
Blogger Stingrayz said...

Suara:

InsyaAllah! :)

There are times when God sends his blessings, via the intervention of human beings.

And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your recent kind and thoughtful "intervention", my dear Suara.

I have been so much happier in the last few days - and I hope so has the Malaysian "Dr Meredith Grey" of Dundee :D

It feels quite surreal, really - but at about right now - I'll take every morsel of happiness that I can get and deserve. :)

I like where I am, today.

And I've found a reason again, to look forward to tomorrow. :)

7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there,

Ever thot of publishing a book of short poems?Urs are really good in capturing the depth of human emotions that most people have trouble putting words to on paper.

Hope u still see those silver linings & all hope not lost yet.

Am hoping to hear more from u again
:)

8:58 AM  
Blogger Stingrayz said...

Aries 213:

Thanks for the kind compliment, dear.

I'm flattered - but my poems are just good enough to be on this blog, I think. :) I'm nowhere near publishable material, yet.

But yes - silver linings are still there. I still believe in it and it's still happening to me. :)

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to hear that u havent given up on life yet :)

As for maybe being a future author/writer/poet,dont underestimate urself..u never know what the future might hold for you ;)

Am looking forward for ur next entry
:)

10:48 AM  
Blogger Sunan_Jati said...

very nice blogs...

have a nice day..!

9:18 PM  
Blogger Stingrayz said...

Aries 213:

No, I definitely have not given up. I had a new lease of life, recently.

And thanks for your vote of confidence in my writing - if it ever happens, you know you said it first! :)


Sunan Jati:

Thanks! Welcome to the blog! :)

3:04 AM  

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