The Best Male Friend To Women Award?
If there is an award that I could probably vie for and comfortably win, it's the award for being the best male friend to a woman.
There are many women who think I'm a great listener. They think I give good advice, despite my own life, being a distinct mess. They think I'm reliable and that I'm there for them, most of the time - especially when it counts. My shoulders have been a crying point, for many.
They say I'm fun to be around. They say I'm nice and a gentleman. They say they enjoy the intelligence, the warmth, the clownish company. A few of them look up to me like a brother figure and some, like a leader figure.
Sometimes, some of them say that any girl would be lucky to have me. And that some fine day, some lucky girl out there, will be. This "lucky" girl might as well be a leprechaun for all I care - it's almost become a fictional notion.
I suppose, one could take all these things as compliments - if one thought it was true.
But I honestly don't. I'm not sure if it's sympathy or people just being nice to me.
Because if I'm all that - then how come none of the people whom I like (and whom also says all these sweet nothings) would never want me for themselves?
It's that feeling I'm getting nowadays.
Good enough to be every girl's close (or best) friend, but never their lover.
That's the truth that bothers me. And maybe that's the reason why I don't try anymore.
It's because you know you've become extremely good, at something - and perhaps, as a result, totally awful at the other.
Maybe it's true, maybe it's not. Not that I know any better. The last time a woman I was totally crazy about, truly wanted to be my wife - was just way too long, ago.
And it's so far back in my life, it' beginning like a "fluke" phase that will never happen again.
For all the spectacular things that I can do - something that comes naturally to others - comes as such a struggle, to me.
And I have no idea why.
There are many women who think I'm a great listener. They think I give good advice, despite my own life, being a distinct mess. They think I'm reliable and that I'm there for them, most of the time - especially when it counts. My shoulders have been a crying point, for many.
They say I'm fun to be around. They say I'm nice and a gentleman. They say they enjoy the intelligence, the warmth, the clownish company. A few of them look up to me like a brother figure and some, like a leader figure.
Sometimes, some of them say that any girl would be lucky to have me. And that some fine day, some lucky girl out there, will be. This "lucky" girl might as well be a leprechaun for all I care - it's almost become a fictional notion.
I suppose, one could take all these things as compliments - if one thought it was true.
But I honestly don't. I'm not sure if it's sympathy or people just being nice to me.
Because if I'm all that - then how come none of the people whom I like (and whom also says all these sweet nothings) would never want me for themselves?
It's that feeling I'm getting nowadays.
Good enough to be every girl's close (or best) friend, but never their lover.
That's the truth that bothers me. And maybe that's the reason why I don't try anymore.
It's because you know you've become extremely good, at something - and perhaps, as a result, totally awful at the other.
Maybe it's true, maybe it's not. Not that I know any better. The last time a woman I was totally crazy about, truly wanted to be my wife - was just way too long, ago.
And it's so far back in my life, it' beginning like a "fluke" phase that will never happen again.
For all the spectacular things that I can do - something that comes naturally to others - comes as such a struggle, to me.
And I have no idea why.
posted by Stingrayz | 8:01 AM
27 Comments:
I figured my job is to inject some levity in your life ... so let me tell you why you have not succeeded.
It is because you think you are a cat, see and people can sense that. No one wants to have a weirdo for a boyfriend!! Now, if only you would stop thinking and acting like one, life would be much simpler for you!!
Xena:
I only have one reply to that, dear: MEOW!! :)
Ervan:
Tell me about it! At least, the bent folks are getting their men. :D
Who says it pays to be straight? Haha! ;)
On another note, have watched "Cinta Pertama" and I thought it was fabulous! Fabulous acting by a bunch of young actors and actresses.
You're right - I would like Bunga Citra Lestari. :) I bought her CD too!
Bro, You should spend some time in Jakarta. The women there are the world's best kept secret! Even the stallion married one of the local girls (YES)! You will not have any problems finding love (or sex)! Over there, as one girl told me, a man is worth a thousand women!
Oh, I forgot. You have been there! And you didn't you have a good time!!??
Babu:
Hey bro'! Welcome back to the blog. Have missed your comments! :)
Yes, I'm sure Jakarta's nice - in that "one man is worth a thousand women" sense. And I guess if I wanted to party down - Jakarta would be a good option.
Though I think there's a great difference between looking for love and looking for lust, bro'. ;)
(The Stallion married a local girl? Wow!)
As for my experience in Jakarta - let's not go down that road.
She's married now - and some things are just meant for one's bittersweet memories.
(Aside from being another great example of a woman I was in love with, who didn't want to marry me,...sigh!)
strangely, this entry remind me of teddy bears!
Okay, let's face it. When you want someone, you may have made the girl feel pressured, like she can never match up to that standard of someone you want. A woman can sense whether a man really wants her or he wants someone he thinks she is. Sometimes knowing exactly what you want can turn against you.
Just my two-cent thought. I might be wrong, and I don't mind being proven wrong ;)
Intan:
I am nowhere NEAR a teddy bear, dear - too skinny! :)
Suara:
Possible, but not likely.
With all the women I've fallen in love with, they need be anything more than they are - and I think they know that. They're exactly what I want.
Perhaps, it's the flip side - it's the fact that I never ask them to be more than who they are, currently.
Maybe some women don't like it to have things too easy - maybe they prefer who make them jump through hoops, so that they can improve.
Or men who "tak hairan" with them. Maybe that's how they keep their life interesting.
Perhaps, that's why I'm male best friend material to women - it's the ability to take them as they are (as long as they're not exceedingly annoying).
Maybe this tolerant, easygoing attitude is not just "macho" enough, not male enough.
I don't know. I don't know any better and I'm too old now to be anyone else, but myself. Nowadays, the attitude is "take it or leave it".
And most times - they leave it.
hehe
~hugz~
Bro, I think you are too introspective and inhibited! Go and join in a mass orgy (can get you an invite - one of my friends has organised with royalty, heheheh) or something to loosen up! :))
If you don't take things too seriously, I think you will succeed! ;)
lonelonelywoman:
Thanks. Right back at you, dear. :)
Babu:
Bro' thanks for the thought- some things in life cannot even be solved by mass orgies, believe it or not. :)
Unthinkable, isn't it? ;)
I'm not taking things too seriously. I'm not taking things, period.
And it's not because I'm inhibited, either. Sometimes, I think it's the lack of inhibition (or introspection, for that matter) that has led me to the strange places I've been to, in my life.
Maybe you can call an "I'm just not" phase in my romantic life. :D (as opposed to "I do", haha!)
Isn't it better to be a "best male friend" than not at all?
Hey, u know that I appreciate u for what u are. Pls, don't ever think it's taken for granted ok. (Somehow, I felt a bit "guilty" after reading this my daer. Aiyo. hehe.)
Haiya, why worry lah Datuk Stingray. Am working on your date with hot TV host. (Btw, pls prepare a list ya :)
And you'll still get a hot date when you're 60. Trust me! ;)
hello there...
"best male friend to a woman" - a traumatic incident for me. but for you, i'm sure one day ur lady would come to you. u just need to be there at the right time and at the right place.
Apollo's Goddess:
So when's my celebrity date-lah? Everytime I pass Watson's I think about the date lah,...;D
Guile:
I've been there before several times before - the right time and the right place. It's just that I'm the wrong man! :D
Oh Ray,
C'mon. Dont put urself too low like that la. You are not the wrong man. It's them who didn't see that. Dont find love. Let it come to you.
Guile:
I hear you.
Whether it comes or not - I don't want to expect anymore. It's exhausting for the spirit to hope and fail repeatedly.
I have a life to live and the present to make the best of. And I shall continue doing just that.
If love comes, good. If love doesn't - then, that is my lot in life.
Either ways, InsyaAllah - I will be okay. That's the way I'd prefer to think of it now.
Exactly. Live the life that you have now. Make the best out of it. But, how would we know that we are making the best out of it?
The expectation & exhaustion - I feel you on this.
This thing about love, it's darn weird. Sometimes, you got love. You shower everything on this love. It blooms and keeps blooming. Without you realize, you are taken for granted. You didnt see the obvious. You are robbed by your own love. Love is a weird thing. It gives both great pleasure and deep wound. To love is to hurt. To hurt is to love.
Guile:
You know you're making the best out of it, when you're doing all you can to be happy - despite things which constantly seem to be out of your reach. That's how.
Love doesn't have to hurt, dear.
I remember times in my life, (about 7 years of it) when it didn't hurt greatly - when there was respect, loyalty, fidelity, thoughtfulness and all-consuming passion, for each other.
Straightforward. Uncomplicated. Loving. Even if not always easy - but that's part of the fun, I guess.
sorry, i didn't mean your physical appearance is like a teddy bear.
just the impression that like the cuddly teddy bear, people will take comfort from you and when they feel better, they'll just put you back up on the shelf or bed until next time.
someone will surely appreciate you for what and who you are.
oh.. that word again - fidelity. I took the definition from wikipedia and put it on my blog. uwwaa... if it doesn't hurt, why is the love of my life hurts me? They say, you always hurt the one you love. Is that true?
I kind of know some story of your 'love' life. Only now I surface myself to communicate with you. I read your entries since your day 1 and until todate.
You and I are both affected by this particular person, whether the vibe is positive or negative, only we both know (and also the Al-Mighty). I'm recuperating. I'm trying to bounce back. Your entries do help me in some way and I'd like to thank you for that. I'm trying to get those passion back, to mend my shattered heart, to have faith in life and trying my best not to be bitter about it.
Intan:
I see. :) If that is so, I'd rather not be a teddy bear - maybe I'd be a Pink Panther soft toy! ;)
Guile:
Thanks for finally 'surfacing' and talking to me. I'm honoured that you've been my blog reader, since day 1. Thank you.
I'm happy if the blog has been a consolation point for you, in one way or another.
It's just an outlet for me - if it helps console others in any way - it's a bonus.
As for hurting the ones we love - it's inevitable.
It's a bit like loving football - you're bound to injure yourself or others on the field - and you will your cuts, sprains and bruises - but there are boundaries that should be observed for the sake of fairplay and civility.
Observing those boundaries makes for a pleasant game - without fouls, unfair tackles and overt temper flares and violence.
Yes, of course, there will be the
occasional spats and scuffles on the field - but good players spend most time in improving themselves to play the game well - simply for the love of the game and respect for the other side.
Bad players just focus on getting even, with the other side - no matter what the consequences.
Good luck in your bouncing back. Life can be hard but the rewards are there, for those who learn to manage the difficulties, who remain thankful for small blessings and strive to be the best person they can be.
i knew you from someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows you. (deja vu.. i think somebody did say something like this in one of the comments in ur entries). i started to read ur blog couple of months ago and what i meant to say in the previous comment was that i read all ur entries since ur day 1 post.
do drop me an email. we'll chit chat again some other time.
Guile:
Thanks for the clarification. :) I'm still honoured that you read all my posts! There's 340 of them! :)
And yes, I will drop you an e-mail soon.
Hey there,
Guess im 2 weeks late in updating with the latest going ons in ur life from the look of it.So sorry for being late with this comment :)
Even though i may not know u as well as others, from what i can figured,i think that u r all that (as described in this entry about ur personality),and i know u'll probably tired of hearing this, but there must be a silver lining somewhere in all this.
Despite what i've been thru these past few years,i would like to think that i'll get a second chance in believing in love again, and i'll hope the same will happen 2u too.I know u think that ur "Ms. Right" is a myth now,but miracles do happen.We see it happened everyday,and insya-allah,our prayers will be answered someday.We just have to believe,even when the going seems to get tough day by day.
Hope u feeling much better right now. :)
P/s:R u still going for that vacation of urs?Here's hoping there be more interesting entries to come from u ;)
Aries 213:
Hey dear.:) Better late than never - and I'm glad that you still come around to the blog. :)
Am always looking for silver linings, even on a pitch black stormy day. :) But there are days, when it gets a bit difficult to do so.
The holiday is still happening - it's just a matter of when, in this month.
Trying to slot in a long weekend, where I can just take a break.
As for interesting stories, don't hold your breath - NOTHING ever happens on my holidays, except rest and tranquility.
And maybe that's a silver lining too. ;)
Dude, I used to harbor the same thing meself ... then I just realized that I was more in touch with my female side, .. that's why I had more lady friends :-)
Live and let live !
omecool20:
Yep, I understand where you're coming from, bro'.
By the way, did you use to cross-dress, as well? ;D
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