Of Towers and Towering Malays

Towering Malays. Welcome to one of the new slogans, under the current administration.

It was mentioned by no less than the Prime Minister, Pak Lah, himself, during an UMNO gathering. He felt that for the Malays and Malaysia to move forward - these "towering Malays" must emerge from the masses.

How did he define these "Towering Malays"? Well Pak Lah defined it as:

"Malays who should stand head and shoulders above his
peers, as icons of high intellect, with high values, a successful
career, good economic standing and well-respected culture and religion"

On the reason why, Pak Lah mentioned to reporters later:

“We want to empower the Malays. We want individuals who are successful
and be excellent in education and the career he or she chooses. We want
individuals who are cultured, who have a high sense of integrity and
who are an asset and a pride to our people and the country".


Reading the trends of the PM's public announcements lately, it is quite obvious that the main focus of the Abdullah administration is the development of Malaysian human capital (as opposed to Dr. Mahathir's more manufacturing and infrastructure-driven agenda). And more so, in striving to achieve the Bumiputera equity, industry and professional sector participation targets of 30%, as set out under the New Economic Policy in 1972 and its spin-off, the National Development Policy, from the 90's onwards.

After all, expanding the economic pie, eradicating absolute and relative poverty, increasing access to higher education, maintaining racial economic balance between the races and enlarging a gainfully employed Malay middle-class, is the bedrock of political stability in Malaysia.

It's a formula that has worked (and performed particular well during the Mahathir era economic boom between 1988 -1996) - but one that is finding it increasingly difficult, to continue being effective in a globalized and competitive world - where tariffs are coming don and world-class products are crossing national borders at increasingly lower prices.

Maintaining equitable economic balance pre-supposes that economic growth will continue at a pace where distribution can be done equitably, for all races. It pre-supposes that we can partake a part of the global bounties available out there, where our local products are sold overseas and are of world-class quality and competitively priced.

These are the assumptions that have to continue, if Malaysia is to remain viable as a country. As the old saying goes - "It's the economy, stupid". And Pak Lah aims to bring out "towering Malays", so that the Malays may be empowered to adapt, to the to the challenging and changing environment.

It makes sense. But like previous slogans, that have come before it - there are many paradoxes that exist in our attempt to seek out the "towering Malays".

First, the definition. It emphasizes an individual with high intellect and education, strong moral values and integrity, financially successful and "cultured". He is assumed to be an asset and a source of pride to the country - so, there is an assumption of high-performance, that one can be proud of.

The problem with defining qualitative measures like these, is that they are relative. Who defines the persons that deserve to be a towering Malay?

A person may be all of the above, but a womanizer or was financially corrupt in climbing his way to the top, be it in the corporate or political sphere. Or he may be all of the above - but not financially successful. Or he may be all of the above - but would never appreciate his own culture or language - be considered "Westernized" or "liberal".

Or, he may be all of the above - and not necessarily be considered an intellectual, by any measure. Or divorced, leaving a trail of broken families and children that are permanently scarred. Or, he may be all of the above - but lacks the courage to back up his integrity and good intentions.

Do we not recognize them for their towering qualities, because they don't satisfy the definition? And how do we know, if they really did? Picking heroes and role models are never easy, because they're all humans and our degree of inspection is far too limited.

And whose standards, perspective and yardstick shall we use? The KL executive? The farmer in Kedah? The trader in Kelantan? The natives of Sabah and Sarawak?


Secondly, the environment to create these "towering Malays". Is the environment conducive?

The paradox about affirmative action like the NEP (aside from the eradicating poverty aspects) is that while it aims to strengthen the target community, it has the indirect effect of strengthening the excluded community, even more.

The Chinese community in Malaysia has strengthened, precisely because of the circumstances which ensured that their opportunities for Government scholarships, jobs and projects are limited.

Their linkages have strengthened due to the "siege mentality" derived from positive discrimination. Their foray into consumer, construction, property development, education, manufacturing, trading, logistics and professional sectors have been driven by the need to create their own opportunities and expand their markets.

And some, have also taken advantage of the "Ali Baba" behaviour of some Malays (mainly politically-related types) who have received contracts from the Government, only to sub-contract all, if not the bulk, of the work to the Chinese contractors. And the Malays get weaker, building wealth without building corresponding capabilities, despite the abundant opportunities awarded by the Government.

The paradox of affirmative action is this: it can reduce poverty, but it cannot truly equalize - and much lesser still, bring one to a dominant position. It can create a middle class via access to education (which is correct) - but only adversity and challenges, can ensure that the middle class is competitive.

Adversity builds strength - you cannot chase an opponent that is exposed to adversity everyday, when you're not. And more often than not, the insulation provided to the target community of the affirmative action, makes them soft, lazy and unable to compete without the insulation.

Ironically, it is the insulation mechanism of receiving the Government largesse that is defeating the Malay community, in the long run. People who are spoonfed, have not learnt how to hunt.

The feudal nature of the patronage system, ensures that the system can only be as clean, as the individuals that participate in them. If you have corrupt leaders at any level), then the system will be corrupt. The rule is simple: comply, participate or get excluded. Enforced at all levels by individual greed, the system becomes endemically corrupt.

Needless to say - "towering Malays" cannot be created and prosper, in such an environment.

In a feudal culture, those who stand up to authority will be mowed down, sabotaged or destroyed. It is a place where power rules, and not values. And Malays with towering qualities of education and integrity, will find the system working against them - and their stand and criticisms misconstrued, as personal opposition to leaders and powers-that-be.

Having principles and standing up for it, in our system, will cost you - sometimes, quite a lot. Believe me. And sometimes, potential "towering Malays" leave the shores of this country, packing along their idealism while others who remain behind, "mature" and learn to accept the status quo. And with their silence, mediocrity breeds even further.

Perhaps, the greatest paradox that Pak Lah may discover, is that the "towering Malays" he hopes to unearth, will find the current nature of his party, the biggest stumbling block to realizing their own and the country's full potential.

It's a sad day indeed when what was meant to be a temporary crutch for the Malays, now holds the potential of becoming its guillotine, in the future.

My advice to Pak Lah? Lead by example, be the principal "towering Malay" and push for the necessary reforms, that are retarding our people. Retain what is good and works (like eradication of poverty) but eliminate the things which makes the Malays uncompetitive, in the economic world.

Loosen the political stranglehold via patronage and let the Malays compete in substance. See them grow via a "siege mentality" and extending their partnerships with both Malays and non-Malays, to conquer a global market.

Other "towering Malays" will emerge behind you and support you in your wake, Pak Lah, I promise. However, avoid doing this - and you will only be left with the towers from the Mahathir era.

When the Autumn Chill Returns

Tonight, I felt a chill that I have not felt in years. And I knew where I felt this chill before - it was autumn in Buckingham in late 1993.

In mid-late 1993, I went through the most depressing period of my life. My girlfriend of 4 years at that time, Lina, had dumped me for another guy in Malaysia. For 6 months, my mails were not replied and she stonewalled on all my calls and attempts to get her to come back to me.

It was a dark period in my life - I was hardly 20, in a foreign country for the first time in my life, separated from the most meaningful person in my life, even if we counted my family, which I was particularly estranged from.

I remember not being able to sleep, feeling a dull throbbing ache in my heart - the pain, though emotional, was as real to me, as physical pain. I remember staying up past midnight in the dorm kitchen and having instant noodles alone. I remember putting on my trenchcoat at odd hours of the night and taking a walk through the quiet Buckingham University campus, in the wee hours of the morning.

Sometimes, I would walk all the way to the petrol station (which was about 40 minute walk both ways) at below 5 degrees Celsius, in my trenchcoat. I'd get a 400-gram Cadbury milk chocolate bar and devour it all in one night. It would not be an exaggeration to say that chocolate saved my life - for I felt suicidal on some nights and chocolate was always a good escape.

There's something about the windy chill of those Buckingham nights - it was biting cold and it woke you up. It accompanies you, but does not intervene in your thoughts and steps. It was just there - like a quiet friend that lets you know that it's there, without saying anything.

I was depressed - deeply depressed - I was more down than I ever was, at any period in my life, prior thereto. I didn't know how to deal with it - I didn't like the thought of pulling other people down with my problems and it became tedious to avoid showing them how I felt about my life at that time. So, I kept to myself a lot.

I locked myself in the dorm room and sometimes, pretended not to be in the room, when friends came a-knocking. I did my best to surround myself with books and music - and pretended to myself that I was studying - even though my emotions had the better of me and my thoughts drifted away to Lina, back home. And the pain accumulated even more.

There were times that I would feel a sense of paranoia and panic grip me - the fear of flunking my exams and letting my parents down. Letting my sponsors (MARA) down too. I was terrified of flunking out so early in my life. I consciously reminded myself everyday that I was there on an obligation - to get through and to do well in my degree - and I had to do all that, despite my depression.

I pulled through that emotionally gruelling period fairly well, academically - when results came out, to my great surprise, I was the 3rd best student in my intake in Law School. Yes, I was fortunate - but I never forgot how dark that episode was, when I was going through it.

There was a part of me that never forgave Lina for that episode - for what I felt was a deliberate abandonment of me in a foreign country - without word, without concern, without a call and/or any letters. I felt alone - and I was hurt, bitter and angry. Why is it that those who easily whisper the words of love, very rarely have enough care and concern to reflect the love declared?

The chill is back and I am greatly surprised. I felt the ache in my heart again - the weather is not cold anymore, but the loneliness is just as chilling. It's just as I remember it - where you go through the cycle of hope, expectation, disappointment, anger and bitterness.

It's what destroys you as a person - it makes you grieve, age, harden and makes cynicism a tempting bed-partner. This is what destroys the beauty in the belief and optimism of Man, in this world and/or in his fellow mortals. Lack of kindness, thought and heart. It makes you lose the ability to dream and strive for the things you believe in - where the parameters of your thoughts, are confined to the gates of your perception of reality.

God, give me the strength to face this chill again. The signs are all there, that the tragedy is inevitable. I have no way, of avoiding this - as much as I dread it, I have to face it again - it's like a bad itch that refuses to go away. Until today, I've forgotten what it's like to wonder when the pain will come to an end and to patiently trudge through it, not knowing when redemption will come.

It's not 1993 and I'm not a young student in Buckingham U anymore - but I find the melancholy of the empty and depressing autumn of 1993, slowly embracing me again. And I have no choice but to survive this, all over again.

It's midnight - and I need chocolates.

Not Just Pretty in Pink - Part 2

Today, I had a good banana leaf lunch with Mr. Italiano, ZR and TallChick, our new friend from Puteri UMNO. Predictably, much of the discussion during the delicious lunch revolved around politics and TallChick became the focus of our "grilling" session.

The poor girl - she probably never expected it. She must have felt like a Minister in Parliament, facing the Opposition, during question time. But we were pleasantly surprised. Her answers were candid, sincere and honest. It bordered on naivete at times, but just like our session with her friend, FutureHope, it was refreshing.

Some of the things we found out, took us aback. We found out that all the Puteri girls were doing most activities on their on expenses. No one reimbursed them for their petrol or food expenses incurred in Puteri activities. Sometimes, the activities even infringed on their own personal leave and weekends.

So why did she do it? It was not as if, big contracts or positions were coming their way. Aside from Azalina, (who has graduated to the Wanita ranks) Puteri UMNO did not even have a Minister from their party.

Her answer was simple: "I want to do my part for the people. Politics was a good avenue". So, why not take the NGO route, we asked her. "An NGO is too specialized. I want to be able to assist in a more general fashion and participate on a wider level, to reach out to the people directly and not any particular specialist community, covered by the NGO".

Good answer. Makes sense. The girl has a good head on her shoulders.

We provoked her even further - how do you defend yourself against all the accusations, criticism and slander thrown against the whole UMNO machinery? Don't you feel that your work on the ground is unappreciated and that people only tend to look at UMNO as a whole and perhaps, not recognize the contribution of the components like Puteri?

Another simple retort flew back: "We can't please everybody, we can only try our best. We just focus on what we have to do and not let things like this, get to us. My chief used to say to me - "if you want to be a good leader, you have to be able to take all the comments/criticisms, take note of them and figuratively, "put them away in a store room." So that's what we do."

ZR threw her another curve ball - what makes you think that Puteri UMNO would not turn out like Pemuda UMNO one day, where almost everyone talks about getting municipal, state and federal concession contracts? We expected her to get defensive on this and give us an answer based on blind optimism and loyalty.

We were disappointed. She replied: "There's no guarantee that it will not happen. But I will make sure that the people under me and I, will not turn out into that sort of people. That's the best we can do - but we all have to do our parts. It does not suffice to just talk, criticize and stay on the outside."

Wokay. Man, we were bowled over. Honest and very human answers, from a local political player - damn, it was refreshing.

TallChick impressed us. She didn't know very much of UMNO history or heritage, her political "know-who" and access to the grapevine was limited, she was "green" and almost optimistically naive on UMNO at times, but her sincerity and commitment to Puteri UMNO and their projects on education and younger children, were unquestionable.

There really should be more people like this, in the system. Especially, in the other UMNO component wings. Strong, dedicated and loyal footsoldiers who worked for the benefit of the people - sometimes, with very little reward or recognition, for their efforts.

To her, politics was not all "big picture" of how and how much, you can change the party, but it's more about service to the main constituents - the rakyat. As long as you're dedicated and keep delivering the benefits to the people you serve and represent, you are contributing and serving your function as a party member.

The boys ate humble pie, today.

For all our knowledge and exhaustive debates and analysis of UMNO over the years and our list of arguments and rationale of "why we should NOT join politics" - the simple, sincere dedication and service that TallChick exemplified towards the rakyat , totally blew us away. She was serving the people, and we were still debating the pros and cons, at the coffee shops. Shame on us.

Sometimes, the simplest explanations and motivations are the easiest to digest and accept. It's mathematically proven too, by Pythagoras - the shortest distance between two points, is a straight line. To me, TallChick proved that theory with her sincere moral stand and actions - she walked a straight line, despite all complications.

And the boys re-learnt something new today - that sometimes, the message does get stronger, with a messenger who lives by it. It's refreshing - and we're tickled pink.

Love and Life through Different Glasses

If there is one phrase that I think most children are familiar with from storybooks, it's "they lived happily ever after". It usually applies to stories like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty - where Prince Charming had come along to save the day and swept the heroine off her feet.

I certainly had more than my fair share of that phrase, when I was much younger. I think all of us who have heard it, have at least once believed it, on a conscious or subconscious level. Some of us still do believe it, even without realizing it. It comes out, sometimes, in how we view things...and others around us.

Recently, my experience with Sweety had led me to a startling discovery - that I could understand a life perspective that was different, and perhaps, contradictory from my own.

"Happily ever after" could mean different things to different people, I learnt. It depends on what has shaped an individual's experiences in Life. And what they experience in Life, directly or indirectly, shapes their perspectives on love.

Some people want to be blissfully happy with their partners - they will settle for nothing less - in loving or being loved. Some people just want to be loved unconditionally, despite not being able to reciprocate the love. Some people want to be married and for the marriages to last forever, whatever the costs - sometimes, in spite of love or the lack of it.

Some people give and risk and everything, to find the love that they want. Some people suppress everything, to accept the love they already have, with them. Some love with good values and honesty, others love or not love and marry, despite good values and honesty. Some choose to be pragmatic and opt for the security of a life without passion, than to take the risk of passion without security.

We all have our opinions but the truth is, we all can love in different ways and in varying degrees of emotions. One man's meat is another's poison.

The reality that I've discovered, is that a person's love CANNOT be stronger or better, than the person himself/herself. And that's the truth.

If you are idealistic, so will your love be. If you are pragmatic, so will your love be. If you are cowardly, so will your love be. If you're a cheat, so will your love be. Your love cannot be stronger or better, than what you are - any more than water can stop from taking the shape of its container.

Love may be understood to mean the same thing to all, but it can have a thousand different meanings, to a thousand different people, of varying experiences, temperament, passion and courage.

I found that it is quite meaningless to say that "love conquers all". It doesn't. It depends on the strength and values of the conqueror, really. A weak person will never be able to get love to conquer anything.

So the next time you fall in love - look closely at the prospective conqueror and assess her strength and values. Don't focus on the word love, focus on the meaning she gives to those words and the lengths to which she would go, to mean those words.

For Love and Life are lived through different glasses, by all of us - but what is important is that love bridges all the differences between each couple, to bring them to the common viewpoint, shared between the lover and the loved.

Learn to tolerate the weaknesses in yourself and in others and you will learn to forgive the weaknesses in their love. Sometimes, it's not that they don't mean what they say - it's just that they don't have the strength or values, to say what they really mean and are willing to act on. They fool themselves, perhaps temporarily, into believing the strength of their words, without measuring the strength of their will.

They say that in Life, you only get what you give. In Love, you will only get what you're willing to give and receive. So many people settle for so much lesser, but if they don't notice that they're unhappy, is it for us to tell them?

There is no one definition of Love - for it is seen through different glasses, by many. But I'm willing to bet on this - if you want a strong and true love, find a strong and true person. You can only go as far, as you're willing to ask and fight for. No more than that, but very possibly less.

Yes, it's still "happily ever after" - but from whose glasses, really? And where no pair of glasses can claim to be better, than the others.

Not Just Pretty in Pink

Mr. Italiano and I had a good karaoke session yesterday, with two princesses. Well, they were more like Puteri UMNO people. From what was evident from the designation their name cards, they were holding pretty prominent posts in Puteri UMNO.

I must admit, that very few Puteri UMNO people I've met have impressed me. But these two did, though not through their vocal prowess in karaoke-lah. ;)

They managed to slot in some R&R time with us, between UMNO functions which they had to attend, in both day and night. I was amazed at their stamina - one of them, (let's call her FutureHope) just drove back from a function in JB, which started at 7.30 in the morning. The other one (let's call TallChick), was rushing to her 3rd function of the day and they were all UMNO-related.


FutureHope asked me that tricky question: why are you not an UMNO member? She lamented the fact that many young professionals nowadays did not get directly involved in politics and yet, were still critical of the issues of the day, without doing anything about it

I told her that I was not directly involved in politics and am not a member of ANY party. But I have been doing my part for my industry and the country, via an NGO, for the last 3-4 years or so.

She didn't quit on that trail. She asked me again: why can't you be a member of both? After all, she is, she said.

I gave her two reasons, in my case - that it's difficult to be impartial on issues in an NGO, if you have a political affiliation, interest or loyalty. In a situation of conflict, where does your loyalty lie? To your party or to the members of your NGO? It's a difficult place to be.

And secondly, I don't identify with most of the Pemuda UMNO members that I've met so far. Attitude and outlook-wise, we were worlds apart - in general. Of course, there are always exceptions, to the rule - but I felt that they didn't reflect the majority.

FutureHope didn't agree with me - but she relented, for the while. Especially after I said that my NGO was more than willing to provide feedback to Puteri UMNO on some of the issues. I knew that she was still trying to get me to sign up, as an UMNO member. I diverted the attention to Mr. Italiano, hoping that she will bug him, instead and take the heat off me.

To my great horror, Mr. Italiano said that he had already been an UMNO member since 1990's. Something about Cawangan Jalan Universiti. Mama-mia! I joked with FutureHope that if I could join Puteri UMNO as a male associate member, I would! :)

But I saw hope, in the likes and calibre of FutureHope. She was 3rd generation UMNO from a prominent UMNO family in Perak, certainly different from the "green" Puteri stalwarts, I've come across.

It's in her blood, it's in her value system - she understands the political way of life. She understands the "perjuangan" - that there is still much to do for the Malays to catch up in their own country and we have to do our part. She emphasized that in UMNO - it is the kaum ibu who are always selfless in their duties to the part. The men would hardly "turun padang" - unless there were direct financial rewards or recognition. But sometimes, it is a thankless job for the womenfolk.

She breathed the intensity of someone, who has a date with destiny and leadership. Intelligent, well-qualified, confident, forthright, determined and carrying a healthy balance between UMNO-bias and a sense of objectivity about what's wrong with UMNO and what needs to change. In my assessment - she was certainly leadership material for Puteri UMNO and beyond that, Wanita UMNO perhaps, one day.

When both girls were asked why they were single - the reply was the same - "there's no time!". Between their daily jobs and their responsibilities in Puteri UMNO, they were all packed out - their weekends were virtually forfeited. But they always try to make time for fun - like they did in karaoke, with us.

Young, dedicated, dynamic and determined - and due to the lower-age limit in Puteri UMNO (at 35 years old, Pemuda UMNO is 40), the young ones do have more of a say on the Puteri UMNO platform, even if they're only in their late 20's.

Perhaps, there is some hope within UMNO after all, for a substantive culture change. And I wouldn't be surprised if the women in Wanita and Puteri UMNO, were the ones to initiate and lead it. To modify an old cliche - If the children are our future, then the women, must be our present.

When Words Can Hurt

Today, there was a joke that went wrong on a blog message. It was insensitive and inconsiderate and I was on the receiving end, without provocation. It hurts even more, when the person saying it is someone very close to you.

Closeness is good, when you have a close friend to pour your heart out, to. It becomes bad, when friends forget the invisible boundaries between what's proper and what's not - in words or action.

It is your right to be concerned, for a friend. It is good when you give him advice on it, too - especially, if solicited. But you cross that crucial line, when you turn things which are most sensitive, private and confidential to him, into bullets for a public joke. A judgemental public joke.

It stops being funny, at that point. And for that one brief moment, you stop acting like a friend. And you will cause them hurt. And you betray their trust and confidence in you.

So, be a good friend - think before you talk demeaningly of others, especially in a public forum. Some remarks are just uncalled for, really - if you call yourself a friend.