Mimpi Pari

"The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter"

Name:
Location: Malaysia

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Checking In

Woke up this morning and found that there was no water supply available in my condo. Drat!

Apparently, the main water pipes in Block C had burst, leaving everyone in my block (which is about 70+ occupied units) without water supply. What's worse is that the problem will take about 3 days to fix.

Of all the things to happen today, dammit!

Am checking in, into a hotel for the next 2 nights. That's probably where I'll be blogging from, next.

This is not exactly the adventure I was asking for. :( Aaarrrggghhh! Sabar je laaaah,...

I'm Happy For You, Younger Brother

Hearing the news from you on the phone today, was really surprising, dear brother.

Even though we're not related by blood, but aside from Josh (who is a few months older than me - heh!), you're the closest thing I;ve ever had, to a younger brother.


And I'm very, very happy for you. That your ship of joy, has finally arrived. That you've decided to end your bachelor days and to settle down with a fantastic girl, whom you probably previously thought, did not exist. Aren't you glad now, that you didn't settle for less? :)

I understand how you feel, as I've been there before. It's glorious to love and be loved, in return, isn't it? :) I remember,....


As I share in the sound your happiness on the other end of the phone, it gently dawned on me - that I'm going to lose you to the world matrimony too, soon. And that I'll probably be seeing much less, of you.

And that I will miss our long Sunday lunches and weekday dinners - discussing all things political and Malaysiana and I shally miss all our great karaoke outings. And most of all, sharing all the inane and politically incorrect jokes about women and other stuff.


But it's a fleeting thought.

All things must change with time, but they dont't necessarily have to change for the worse. Sometimes, things evolve for the better.

Just like when Josh got married - I don't consider it losing a brother, I consider it gaining a sister-in-law. :) And perhaps, in future, a few nephews and nieces too.

Congratulations again, dear brother!

No one deserves this happiness more than you and no one knows the meaning of her presence in your life, more than I. And she's a very lucky girl, too.

I mean that, brother. :)

Be happy always and may God's blessings be with both of you, throughout your lifetime together. Amin!


p.s.

*I have not mentioned your name in the blog, as I thought that if anything, the big announcement should come on your blog, first. ;)

A Question of Choice and Consequences

I came across these words while I was re-reading "The Early Years: 1947-1972", which is a compilation of writings by a young Dr. Mahathir Mohamad:

"If the finer gradings of examinations are not perfect then they should not be the only yardstick for the purpose of further education. Certainly, they should be given due consideration but consideration should also be given to the needs of the country.

After all, the university was founded to serve the needs of the nation and it is hardly compatible with these needs to perpetuate and deepen the chasm that divides the Malaysian people.

I am reliably told that in India the practice for some universities to pick out the best applicants to fill 30 percent of the places available. The rest is divided between the different communities served by the particular university. It would seem that neither the problem nor the answer is confined to Malaysia.

I am well aware that disparity exists at all levels of education and that the outlook of the bumiputera is not conducive to the production of candidates for scientific and technological studies.

To change the outlook of a person, to orientate them to new sets of ideas and values does not take a year or two. In a democratic country like ours, it takes generations."



This was written by a youngish Dr. Mahathir on 23 March 1968. He was just 43 years old, back then.

(About 2 weeks earlier, he wrote an article that on racial disparities, which predicted the outbreak of further racial riots and violence, based on the outbreak of Sino-Malay riots that had happened in Penang and Singapore. Less than 15 months later - the tragic racial riots incident of May 13, 1969 happened)

About 4 years later, under the post-NEP Razak Administration, Dr. Mahathir became the Minister of Education up till 1976, before becoming Deputy Prime Minister to Tun (then Dato' Seri) Hussein Onn.

It explains much of what has happened to our higher education system, since then. None of it is incidental - the choice was clearly made that the university will serve the (political and economic) needs of the nation, first and foremost.


And in the last 25 years or so, the subservience of the local university system to "the needs of the nation", has been even more prolific, in implementation.

It was probably the most correct of decisions in the socio-economic reengineering of Malaysian society and in the creation of a large tertiary-educated Bumiputera class.

If you had to decide on issues like this back in 1972 - most of us would have gone down, the same path - without the benefit of hindsight.

But the damage done to the local university system and to the quality of graduates, teaching, learning, critical and constructive thinking and research in such institutions - have been immensely high.

University of Malaya, once one of the most well-regarded universities in Asia - is now, practically nowhere in the Asian rankings of universities.


Perhaps, the choice could not have been avoided - given the context of the Malaysian situation in the late 60's/early 70's.

Perhaps, policy aside, the implementation could have been better if there were less political intervention in universities and instead, more private sector involvement.

But now that the damage is done and the production of high quality human capital is paramount - how do we reverse and mitigate the effect of 35 years of making the university system, (not to mention the "sacrifice" of at least, one educated generation) entirely subservient, to the national socio-economic reengineering agenda?

Let's hope that, as Dr. Mahathir would put it - "to reorientate them to a new set of ideas and values" - that it will not take us, generations to do so. There isn't the luxury of time, in today's viciously competitive and globalized world.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Uninspired and Restless

That restless feeling is coming around again. I think I need to get out of town, for a while.

No, am not depressed or anything like that. Life's very stable and predictable, in most ways.

Same old friends, same old scene, same old makan and movie hangouts, same old activities, same old songs sung. And there's something that makes me feel very fortunate and secure, for all of that. I have a lot ot be thankful for. I do and I know it.


But there's something inside that's yearning for a fresh perspective. On everything. On everyone. On the future and what's coming. I feel like I've gone as far as I can, in this current mould and level of thinking.

And I've stagnated. And I can't write anymore - I seem to be drying up and low in inspiration.

And I'm beginning to resign myself to a few things in my life - like most of my siblings will never differ far from the ones in the TV show "Arrested Development".

I'm itching to get out of town. Just to leave and abandon everything here, for a few days. Just for a fresh vista. To meet and talk to people who are not KLites.

To learn new things and to elicit new lessons - just to feel inspired to look at old things and issues in new ways. To be a stranger in a village, where no one knows my past or present - and I'm just another interesting visitor from the city. To feel the sea breeze on my face and the sand in between my toes.

To sit in a dilapidated warung kopi and to have a chat with the locals, on what's happening on the ground and how it's affecting their lives.

To have an unplanned journey - just go where my feet would bring me and what interesting experiences I would have from there. The last time I really let that happen, was when I was travelling alone, in Spain in late 2002. And yes, that was an emotionally enriching experience.

The restless feeling inside, is getting stronger. One of these days - I might just spontaneously pack up and go. Because the hunger inside is getting harder to resist. There's something very draining about routine and predictability in life. I need to recharge.

I need a breath of fresh air and to feel like I'm growing again, inside. For the mind and for the heart. For peace and inspiration.

Soon.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

MyTeam vs Malaysia: The Battle is Lost, but The War is Won?

I am by no measure, a soccer fan. At least not lately.

I used to be a keen Selangor supporter in my teens (in the days of Zainal Abidin Hassan) and I played football almost daily when I was living in Regent's Ville, up till the age of 17 and followed some games, from a few World Cups here and there - but that's as far as my passion with football lies.

I've never religiously followed the English Premier League - like most of my peers have. And I've only recently started choosing a favourite team - Arsenal - but more because I liked the colour of their jerseys, than anything else.

And of course, my high regard for Thierry Henry - as a player and more so, after seeing him give a commentary on the race relations situation in France on "Parkinson" - he's damn articulate and insightful - he speaks and thinks better than most professionals I know.

But last night, due to the coaxing of some friends and an offer of a few free passes as VIP guests of the media in the Bukit Jalil Stadium - I thought to myself - WHY NOT?

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And there I found myself in the MyTeam vs Malaysia match. Truth be told, I was expecting a boring evening of unexciting football, but I was looking forward to just catching up with some of the Regent's Ville boys - some of whom I haven't caught up with, in quite a while.

If you haven't heard of MyTeam, then you must have been living under a rock. It's had loads of hype, preceding this match.

This part reality TV, part talent development program, part political point-proving in the football fraternity effort - was mooted by UMNO's Deputy Youth Chief, Khairy Jamaluddin and the former national player and now, prominent football commentator, Serbegeth "Shebby" Singh.

The premise is simple. Go on a nation-wide talent hunt for a few months, pick the fastest footballers you can find (everyone in MyTeam can run the 100 metres in under 12 seconds) and give them 7 weeks to train under the coaching of a former national player and play together, and pit them against the national team. And see what happens.

Interesting premise.

And considering the dismal state of Malaysian football and the idiocy that Football Association of Malaysia (FAM) has become, everyone began to wonder if this would go to prove that the progress of football in this country, has been impeded by politics and federal/state patronage, which has dulled the edge in our national players.

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I'm not going to give you a review of the match - I'll leave that the to newspapers and to the people who are experts.

But watching the match as a layman, I found that for a team that has only been together for 7 weeks, they didn't look like any less of a team than the national team did.

The MyTeam attacks and counter-attacks were swift and penetrating and made the Malaysian team's attacks look cautious and boring (although I've been told that it's football strategy - wait for the other team to make a mistake).

The so-called "estate boys" of MyTeam showed a lot of flair in their attacks, out-running and sometimes, out-dribbling 2-3 players from the national team. (Although some like Rizal would claim that they play like "budak sekolah"). And possession of the ball in both halves, was 50-50.

Considering that an obscene amount of money has been spent on the national team players and they play football profesionally, one expected a lot more from them (even if they're made up mostly of the national under-21 team). One would have expected them to dominate the game and trounce the "estate boys" by at least, 2-3 goals.

But that did not happen.

The Malaysian team defeated MyTeam 2-1, both converted out of free kicks. The first goal was the inexperienced goalie's mistake, but the second goal was just purely brilliant and unsaveable.

And there was one "almost-goal" by MyTeam which hit the bar in the 79th minute, which made the stadium roar in disappointment. If that had been a goal, it would have been a draw.

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A defeat is a defeat. There's no denying that. MyTeam lost the battle.

But the way that the national team won, was disturbing, to say the least. They did not dominate the game, despite having much better match fitness and experience. They did not show great skill or bold and daring strides up the MyTeam penalty box. They could hardly break through the MyTeam defence.

MyTeam is made up of a bunch of blue-collar workers from rubber estates and villages who have never had professional training and they've only been playing together for 7 weeks.

And they gave the national team, a damn good scare last night.

There's something to ponder there. What is the FAM doing with the taxpayer's millions and is it capable of producing results? Has our money been well-spent?

You proved your point, MyTeam - you won the war. Let's hope the Government will do something about FAM, for the sake of football development in this country.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

American Idol - The Final Entry for Season 5

This is the last entry on my blog, for American Idol (Season 5) this year. And I think this has been the best American Idol season for me.

It's been a great ride and thanks to all who have gone through the journey with me on this blog, whoever it is that you've supported. :)

And don't forget to watch the great Idol finale.

Al Jarreau, Meatloaf, Clay Aiken, Carrie Underwood, Toni Braxton, Mary J. Blige and the enigmatic Prince, make an appearance. And all 12 finalists have a great reunion. It will make you feel like rushing out to your nearest karaoke joint for a singing session!

(And don't forget to watch the Puck and Pickler show - it's HILARIOUS!)

Taylor Hicks is a humble and truly deserving winner (and obviously, a very warm and well-mannered human being) and Katherine was a gracious runner-up.

Special mention goes to Pixie: what will you do to bug my Thursdays now? ;)

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Of course, this is not the last that you'll hear from me on music competitions. Next week is Akademi Fantasia!!

The "Menuju Puncak" song is already playing in my head,...I wonder if Mrs. Prim can still dance to this song? ;) Maybe we can teach little Shakira, a few dance steps! Heh!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Free Speech: Dealing With Annoyance

It's not easy. But this is what it's like to be in the public sphere - in any form.

You will have to deal with annoying people. People who, no matter how nice you are to them, will never be nice to you. They make it a point to take a potshot at you, take a jab at your character - not because of anything else, but because they can.

And you take a deep breath. And you tell yourself to be patient with this retard. You tell yourself that if you can tolerate who make it a point to come to the doorstep of your blog, just to annoy you - then you can put up with anything in the world.

For how many people would put up with people who make it a point to come into your "home" in cyberspace and spit on you and your furniture?

You tell yourself that if you want society to grow from freedom of expression, then you will have to walk the talk - by listening to the reasoned right down to the blithering idiot, who just wants to verbally kick your head in. After all, you may learn something from everyone.

That you shouldn't censor him - but you should make your point clear and you should leave him to his point, out of respect, even if it not be mutual. That regardless of his motives against you - that you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there is no ill will - maybe they just lack manners.


But you know, deep inside, that everything has a limit. That there will come a breaking point when you will delete the entries, if it starts to annoy you. After all, it is your blog - you can do whatever you want with it.

But if you did that - would you be any better than people who muffle the rights of others to speak?

It brings back to mind what one of my law lecturers used to say: "It is your right to swing your hand, but your right stops the moment when your hand hits my nose".

The limits of free speech should be there when you start offending others, without good reason. When you feel that you have the right to say all that you want to say, without regard to HOW you say it and respect for others.

For certainly, if language and conduct be the conduit of reason - then reason must be the fence that keeps language and conduct, in its proper place. Surely there must be limits for people who have regard not, for the space and feelings of others. Surely, manners should be our guide in communicating with others.

For what use is the gift of intelligence, if we don't know how to respect the people around us?

Meanwhile, I'll be as patient as I can. But I'm only human - I have my limits. And let's hope he never reaches them.

History: Learning From The Past, Living Through The Present

After a discussion with Prabajee a few nights ago, I started reflecting on history. Malaysian history, in particular.

The thing about history is that there are 2 main parts - the history of things that happened before you were born and the history of the things that you're living through.

Eric Hobsbawm - author of "The Age Of Extremes" once mentioned how difficult it is to write about the history of the era that one has lived through - with the same sort of impartiality that one writes about the history of things, before one was born.

With the latter, you're relying purely on secondary reference materials and sources and it could never be the things that you've seen for yourself.

Wherelse with the former, it's not just describing the situation, impartially - as one's own experience, opinion and perception is involved in coming to some conclusions.

We're much fairer to past history that we've never lived through than the ones that we have. That's what I think.


For instance, when we look at the leaders of the Tun Razak era, we look at it with such great admiration at the sort of outstanding individuals that it had produced - reasonable people with integrity, with a high degree of patriotism and whom had at the core of their intentions, the future viability of Malaysia.

Perhaps, no other country in the world had attempted such massive socio-economic reengineering and economic restructuring of society. But they attempted it, after a few rounds of bloodshed between the races. They attempted it, so that bloodshed will never be a regular feature in this country - as it has been in a few other countries.

They came up with a plan called the New Economic Policy (NEP) which had set the track for the 3 races - to achieve parity between the races and for them to become a nation, one day.

And at that time, nothing could have seemed like a better plan, to keep Malaysia viable. The NEP became the bedrock of our political stability, which in turn, allowed for high rates of economic growth to be achieved over the years - especially during the Mahathir administration.

And Mahathir kept us going on that track - planning that Malaysia will not only be an economically developed country by 2020, but also has a Malaysian nation, with all the "soft" qualitiies of developed nation, too. Come 2020, by hook or by crook, we will be a developed nation - in one form or another.

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But history is full of good intentions gone wrong or not according to plan. Communism was one. The institution of the United Nations is another.

There is no politician that can be held responsible for the things that he cannot foresee. Our interpretation of history should take into account the context, which leaders are faced with at that time. The fire-fighting is almost always about TODAY's problem - because that's where the pain is immediate.


As a snapshot of history, what we've done with the NEP is to save this country. There was probably no other viable solution to keeping this country from going into a race-based civil war - given what the economic circumstances were, back in the 1960's and early 1970's.

It isn't perfect and it will not be entirely fair, to the eyes of many. But it was a compromise that was reached by ALL the leaders (of all races, both from the Government and the Opposition) back in 1971.

They bravely decided on going down one significant path in Malaysian history - a difficult but necessary one. They deemed it necessary, for this country to ever evolve into a nation.

Nations may be built on idealism, but sometimes, the maturity and readiness of your citizenry dictates that you run it on pragmatism.

You can't shove down their throat something that they're not ready for - you must go only marginally ahead of the pace that they're ready for, to keep on their toes. Change and maturity will come - but it takes time and generations.

It takes time for the past hurt of history to heal (like collaborating with with former Communist countries and our former colonizers) and it takes time for new reasons to move, with each successive new generation. As the reason for the past fades, the reason for the future is being built - by the fruits of the labour and compromise of this country's past generation.

And that's our generation.

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Yes, the NEP could have been implemented better. But as a tool of eradication of poverty - it is a tool of social reenginering, par excellence. It created access to education and produced a large middle-class, within one generation.

As a tool of restructuring society, it was still a half-success - though someone should have told people about how difficult it is to achieve economic parity, between races with different economic cultures and emphasis.

If we took a snapshot of Malaysian history from 1971 up till 1996, the formula looked like it was working brilliantly.

We had a large and thriving middle-class, we had many Malaysian millionaires and billionaires, we were a hotspot for foreign direct investment, our GDP was growing at a booming 8-9% per annum, at least a quarter of our school leavers had access to tertiary education, we were just beginning on the next leap with Multimedia Super Corridor, we had Vision 2020 to march down towards and we had a Prime Minister (and even a Deputy Prime Minister) who was highly regarded both locally and internationally.

I remember what 1996 felt like - I was in university and Malaysia felt full of possibilities. We were caught in the euphoria - and Dr. Mahathir (despite critics on "mega projects", human and political rights) looked larger than life, as the chief architect of Malaysia. Many believed he should have retired at this point - though taking into account that Asia had a currency crisis looming, it was a good thing that he didn't.

And then the period of 7 dark years began - between 1997 up till 2003. And we grew up and grew old - drastically. Financial empires fell, companies that were imprudent and not managed well, began collapsing during the economic crisis. Tan Sris became technically insolvent, bail-outs were prevalent and so was the "fire sale" of attractively-priced landed and financial assets.

The stock market plummeted and retrenchments were rife. Although we were relatively insulated due to our currency pegging, but the impact was still quite hard and scary.

And then there was what happened to Anwar Ibrahim, reformasi and the largest split and political revolt, the Malays had ever seen. It was bitter. It was painful and it was unproductive. It compromised the independence of the judiciary in our eyes. It damaged our confidence in the police.


But as far as political consciousness is concerned - it was a wake-up call for the baby-boom generation (those born between 1967-1978). And a few things were born from there - Malaysiakini, Dateline Malaysia (which had created the platform for the rise of 1 Minister (who founded Puteri UMNO) and one Deputy Youth Chief) and to a certain extent, the maturing of UMNO - that the opinion of the common Malaysian, cannot be taken for granted and that there were limits to acceptable action, in politics.

The wound within the Malay community started healing when Anwar was acquitted in 2004 - and many believed this to be due to the non-intervention of the Abdullah administration, within the judiciary.

But it is fact that when there is a split in UMNO, the whole business community (and not just the Bumiputra ones) suffers.

It's destabilizing and it has a medium to long term impact, in splitting the Malaysian talent pool - based on their political allegiances. Small developing countries cannot afford such splits - it's too costly for them.

Think of that, before you start taking sides and joining political camps and planning an overthrow of any current regime.

Menang jadi arang, kalah jadi abu.

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And today, we have the Abdullah administration. We've had 3 years of it. We've had more press freedom and openness, than we've had in a long time. The freedom to hold Ministers accountable on on any issue, without the Prime Minister clamping down on the issue, has probably never been wider.

And we've seen efforts at building up institutions of governance, human rights, GLC accountability and those that will promote transparency. We've certainly seen a lot more interesting and critical stuff, in the newspapers lately - albeit, still with a little bias and massive spin-doctoring.

We've seen some hard thinking and soul-searching done for the 9th Malaysia Plan and a focus on human capital development is recognized, as its main pillar. And execution of the Plan, has been recognized as a pillar, too.

We've seen efforts towards some major new thrusts like biotechnology and a focus on development of the states other than just the major states like Penang, Selangor, Johor, etc., via the return of agriculture, as a thrust of development.

But we've also seen election promises staying ahead of implementation. And perhaps, that has to do more with excessive promising and spin-doctoring, than it does with slowness of implementation.

If there is one lesson for the Abdullah administration for the next election - promise less to the people. Malaysians are an unforgiving lot, when it comes to unkept promises and exaggerated claims.

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But where change has begun to be implemented - it has reared its own ugly twin.

Let's take GLC reform, as an example - in the old days, no one knew if Malaysia Airlines (MAS) was being robbed in broad daylight, with the Government having to pick up the tab, of nationalizing losses, at the end of the day.

Today, Idris Jala is being constantly monitored for his decisions in Malaysia Airlines.

Our GLC CEOs seem to be more answerable to the media and the people, than our elected Ministers and Members of Parliament are. And the critics are fast and furious, always looking for the chink in the armour.

Wahid Omar of TM, Che Khalib Md Noh of TNB, Syed Zainal of Proton, Idris Jala of MAS, Badlisham Ghazali of M-Dec, Iskandar Mizal of Malaysian Biotechnology Corporation - I take my hats off to you, for your bravery in taking up these thankless "national service" jobs.

All of them could be doing better (and having a less pressured time) in multinational corporations, but they chose to stay and fight for what's important for the country.

And sometimes, to withstand the unreasonable demands and spotlight of all Malaysians, who think they can do better. Kudos to all of you, for your patience and perseverance.

And sometimes, for being the unfortunate fall guy for decisions that has arisen from political intervention.

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Yesterday's plans will not work for tomorrow. Although it may have worked for yesterday, or maybe even today.

The seeds of our political strength yesterday (like having an almost fully Bumiputra civil service, relegating the education system as a tool for national unity and channeling the distribution of patronage and wealth through UMNO) may be the source of our economic weaknesses tomorrow, if not today.


There is a future price for everything we've decided on - but frequently, that price cannot be foretold. We only know what the price is, of not doing the necessary things in the present - like not having the NEP, would have possibly made us Indonesia during the economic crisis. Empty stomachs fuel the fire of revolt, more than any other factor.

And it is for this reason - that we cannot keep looking to the past for a blaming point. Every political and economic decision is based on its own context and constraints, in time and space.

It is unwise for the young to play know-it-all. For one day, your mistakes will be villified by your next generation. You can only hope that you're making the right judgement calls, so that the future of Malaysia will not be compromised.


The world is bound to change (like the effects of the rise of China and India and globalization)and the best that we can do, is to be well-advised and to be prepared to adapt. Hindsight is 20/20 and it's never fair to impute that things should have made sense to our leaders, much earlier on.

In the history that we live through, it's important that we remember that it's just not our leaders that get carried away with the euphoria - most times, we do too. And it's unfair for us to blame it on them - when we did not see it coming either.

There is no credit in apportioning blame to others and looking wise on hindsight. Anyone can do that.

The real question are: what can we do to prepare ourselves and Malaysia, for tomorrow's challenges? And how do we play the most effective and constructive role in it?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

American Idol: Taylor Hicks is No. 1!

It's probably final - my prediction is correct.

Taylor Hicks is the new American Idol.

And from what I've read on MSNBC, it was deserving even based on performance too. Taylor outperformed Katharine last night, on an overall basis.


As usual, Kat's song choices let her down again.

She chose "Black Horse and A Cherry Tree", a song which she sang when there were only 5 contestants left. It's a good song, but it's certainly one not to be sung at the finals. And it's hard to repeat a good performance on the same song, twice.

Her second song played it safe, too - and she chose "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" all over again. Again, the risk of trying to top a great performance from the week before - is not a very wise one.

She should have tried an entirely new song - it would have stood out and sound fresher to the viewers and voters.

Her third song "My Destiny", which was specially composed for her, was according to Randy Jackson, not great. And there's not very much that one can do about songs, specially composed for you. It's a 50/50 shot - they either get it right or wrong.

And the consensus from the press and the American Idol judges, is that they got it wrong. Let's hope in that case that "My Destiny" would not be her first single, then. It'll may wreck her career launch, as a recording artiste.

(Though I still think that she would do better by people telling her what songs to sing, than if she had picked her own songs - other people (like Simon Cowell) seem to have a better feel of what sounds good on her)


But even based on the first 2 song choices - I would have predicted a Katharine McPhee defeat outright. In these sort of competitions, a singer not only has to be good - but she has to be intelligent and know what songs to pick and when to pick them. As the underdog, she had nothing to lose and the pressure was off her - all she had to do, was to risk it all and give it all.

American Idol finals are made for bigger songs - songs which just throw it out there and show them that you're a superstar. And Katharine deserved to lose, if these were the best selected songs that she could come up with, for the finals.

I would have preferred a final with Chris Daughtry winning it - but given that it was Taylor and Katharine, in the finals last night - America picked the right and deserving winner.

Nevertheless, I'm happy with the outcome. Looking forward to Katharine's first single, album or music video. Win or lose - it's just the beginning of the journey for her.

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Now that "McPheever" is over - next week, "Demam Akademi Fantasia" begins,...hehehheheehe,...and this time, unlike American Idol, kita boleh AFUNDI! ;)


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UPDATE ON AMERICAN IDOL:

After watching the finals just now, I'm revising my opinion but not my conclusion. It wasn't a total whitewash.

In fact, I would say that it was only the 3rd song - the original song segment - that clinched the title for Taylor Hicks. Katharine's performance of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" was just as good as last week's. Sometimes, lightning does strike twice!


Both Randy and Simon agreed that in Katharine's case, the singer was better than the orginal song - unfortunately entiled "My Destiny". I agree - the original song was bland and uninspiring. Even Jaclyn Victor's "Gemilang" was a far better song.

And I think in the final analysis - it did impact her chance of winning tonight - as after 2 songs, they were clearly tied at 1-1.

Paula pointed out that the song - "Do I Make You Proud" - was lesser than the singer in Taylor's case, too (although Randy pointed out that it's a better song than Katharine's) but his voice and personality came through in his original song and made it strong.

Simon concluded that Taylor had won American Idol. I agree with Simon, wholeheartedly.


My personal rating on tonight's performance are as follows:-


Katherine McPhee:

1) "Black Horse and A Cherry Tree" - 7.5 points
2) "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" - 9 points
3) "My Destiny" - 7.5 points

TOTAL POINTS: 24


Taylor Hicks:

1) "Living for the City" - 8.5 points
2) "Levon" - 8 points
3) "Do I Make You Proud" - 9 points

TOTAL POINTS: 25.5


And the votes tomorrow will confirm that Taylor Hicks is the next American Idol. But I do believe that both of them will go on to have sparkling careers, ahead.

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UPDATE ON THE RESULTS:

Taylor Hicks has won! My prediction was spot-on! Congrats to all "Soul Patrol" supporters. :) And I think "Do I Make You Proud" is a great first single for Taylor.

And to all McPheever fans - let's look forward to her first album. This girl's gonna be a star. There's much to look forward to. :)

Thoughts From Teddy

From the late Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt, former American president:

"It is not the critic who counts,
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled,
or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena;
whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions,
and spends himself on a worthy cause;

Who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who, at worst, if he fails,
at least fails, while daring greatly;
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls
who know neither victory nor defeat."

The Creation of Empty Vessels?

When I was in primary school, in Standard 5 to be exact, Mrs. Anne my class teacher, taught us the meaning of the phrase "an empty vessel makes the most noise".

She actually said that in order to hush the class down, as my class was known to be one of the most noisy classes in the whole batch. We weren't naughty - we just had a super-abundance of energy and enthusiasm.

But the phrase implied that a person who makes noise, is a stupid person with a vacant mind. It did enough to the ego of my classmates to keep the class quiet.

An empty vessel makes the most noise.

The phrase returns to my mind repeatedly nowdays, as I observe several different mailing and discussion groups - discussing on a wide range of different topics and populated by people of different interests, backgrounds and expertise (or sometimes, the lack of it).


There are a few trends that I've noticed amongst discussants on e-mail groups.

Most are residing in the urban areas. Most have some form of tertiary education and are studying, are working in executive level jobs as professionals or entrepreneurs. Most have a working grasp of the English language, if not proficient in it. And unless it's some exclusive chatroom - it tends to be a multi-racial crowd, discussing a variety of issues.

It is without doubt that the strongest medium for freedom of expression in Malaysia, is via the Internet. More things are said by large numbers of people in cyberspace, than in any number of physical gathering possible. E-mail groups allow for information to be shared with hundreds and thousands, if not millions of people.

It's hard to imagine that it's only about 10-11 years ago, only a select group of people in Malaysia knew how to use the Internet.

And now, about 15% of all households in Malaysia, have Internet access - although the trend is still a very urban related one - KL, Selangor, Penang, Johor and Sarawak would make up close to 75% of Internet penetration in Malaysia (based on 2002 numbers by MIMOS)

It's probably a fair statement to say that on the majority, the Internet is probably one of the most accurate barometers of what the urbanites are thinking, especially for those below 40 years of age.

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So, what are they thinking about?

Current issues. Most of them are discussing current issues and a substantial amount of their time are spent talking about current issues which relate to the Government and the quality of governance (or the lack of it).

There is probably no other medium that opens itself to an endless supply of Government bashing, as e-mail groups do. And in Malaysia, we specialize in this.

Be it the fuel subsidies, criticism on the way GLCs are run, the comments and behaviour of our elected MPs, the ripple caused by the new wave of movies like Sepet, Gubra and the banned "Lelaki Komunis Terakhir", the destruction of our local environment, the idiocy and retarded service level of the local civil service, the open and hidden corruption of political leaders, religious conflicts and governance, issues of race-based privileges - the Internet is the platform for all these angst and repressed dissatisfactions, to air themselves.

To a certain extent, it's a good thing. It's a good thing that Malaysians are expressing themselves openly. That they're not afraid to do so. That they don't hold themselves back.

That they don't bottle up their feelings and prejudices and wait for the volcano to erupt. And with everyone opening up, you get to see the different opinions held by others not like you - those who are young, old, conservative, anarchist, Malay, Chinese, Kadazan, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, citizen, foreigner, etc.

In that sense, the Internet has done more for freedom of political expression amongst Malaysians - than any other medium has done in the past.

More openness means more exposure to others. It means seeing other perspectives unlike or even opposed to your own. It means seeing people of all intents - sincere, flippant, stupid, saboteur or even power-crazy. It may mean less naivety or it may mean more cynicism, depending on the "weather" of what is discussed.

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It would be fair to say that some of the things that you read in these e-mail circles will influence you greatly, if you didn't know any better. And if you assumed that the main protagonists - the active speakers within the e-mail group - do know better than you.

After all, Malaysians are a shy lot. They don't express themselves or say very much publicly, for fear that they could be wrong. 11 years of schooling has taught you that it's a bad thing to get things wrong. So, you never take that risk of being wrong.

In fact, it teaches you to go with the tide, to agree with what the majority seem to be saying. Or at least, the perception of whom the majority seems to agree with - it's safety in big numbers. It's ingrained in you that it's never a good thing for you to be wrong, alone.

Now, what's wrong with this picture?

From what I've observed of e-mail groups (and I've been a member of several big and popular local e-mail groups) and from many of the popular "citizen journos" blogs that I've come across - the comments on the local political situation, national or local governance or even local politicians, are VERY negative.

It's like an orgy of people who are intent on being negative on every single thing the Government does.

All it takes is one negative comment and everyone seems more than eager to jump on the "bitching bandwagon". Few of them will try to be constructive but almost 90% of them will leave comments which are neither comforting nor constructive.

Fair enough, for the most part, all of us have had some experience (some more than others) of being shortchanged by the Government and politicians. Some have been directly victimized by direct actions, others may be indirectly victimized by inaction or indirect actions. Some would go so far to blame everything that happens in this country to the position of the Prime Minister - regardless of who sits there.

But the outpouring of collective frustrations by Malaysians reflect one thing - everyone feels that they've been cheated out of their due. It's gushing with complaints, anger and paints a very bleak picture, for the future.

But no one does anything about it. I don't even think that they even see it as their responsibility to be constructive or to help make the dark scenario better.

They complain about national issues in a public forum, they villify all characters possible (especially if they're closely related to the Prime Minister) and then they go back to their daily lives of work, family and friends.

They don't even try to make any sort of change - it's like they've done their responsibility by joining the "bitching bandwagon" and adding to the chorus of doom and gloom.

It reminds me of an old saying: "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem".

This is one of those things that will stop our people from having a developed mindset. It's a learnt helplessness - you talk about it and you walk away. The buck never stops with us.

That it's somebody else's responsibility to solve things. That it's somebody else's neck that should be risked on the chopping block. That governing the country is just about the Government doing right - and that it has nothing to do with a pro-active citizenry that participates in the process of a more refined governance.

That's why things never move in Malaysia. Whose going to get it moving if everyone waits for something to happen?

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The truth is, centralization of power towards the office of the Prime Minister is so strong in this country (something we've inherited from 22 years of Mahathir governance) that we expect our Prime Minister to be accountable for not only national development, but even the state of our roads, potholes and drains.

It's a magical seat to us - where the the person who sits in it - will turn into Santa Claus - and grant Malaysians all their deepest wishes and dreams for this country.

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But back to the issue - if everyone feels cheated and yet feel that they're not left with a viable choice (there seems to be no viable national level Opposition that Malaysians would feel comfortable in electing, in previous and foreseeably, future elections), then what is the correct way, to express oneself?

E-mail groups are potentially much more than just "bitching bandwagons" on the Government.

Yes, an expression of things that are wrong is a good thing. Someone should highlight things which go wrong, especially done when it's done by the people we elect.

But after highlighting the problem, we should do our part to be constructive and suggest solutions or remedial actions.

Write to the newspapers about it - share it with the rest of the country. Someone who is in a position to do something about it may read it. Or if you'd like - e-mail it to the Prime Minister, the relevant Minister, the Economic Planning Unit or the Backbencher's Club in Parliament.

Or speak to your industry organization or local NGO about it, if the issue is related to what they cover - they may have stronger links and access to the people in power than you do.

Some may cite cynicism on whether these measures would be effective. I say you should try some or all of these avenues and see what works. At the very least, you would have done your part in highlighting the issue to realm of public awareness or to the ballpark of the people who may be able to act on the issues.

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And just as important - is to highlight the areas where the Government has done right. As a country, we need to feel good about something (of course, without being complacent, while at it)

For all that's wrong with this country, for all the things that will impair our future competitiveness - there are many things that have been done right, too. We cannot be one of the most competitive Asian nations in the world, if all our Government has been able to do - is to do things wrongly.

Yes, there are many things that could have been done better, economically, politically and socially. Some we've realized early on, most we've realized when the going got tough.

But Malaysia is a complex country to run - we've managed to stay afloat from the mutual compromise of all races, which is the lynchpin of our political stability and the foundation of our economic growth and making up the story, as we go along.

And the adaptation of the story gets more complex, as the world globalizes, leaving a deep impact on the way Malaysia has planned for the future. It challenges our mutual agreements, the foundation of this country, our social contract. Nothing will be able to remain the same for long, without question, if Malaysia is to survive for the long run.

Malaysia's a young country (almost 50 years since Independence and 36 years since the foundation of the NEP was laid in 1971) and it's not even yet a nation.

There's still much to do to make it a nation - but it's something that we've got to keep chipping away at, so that successive generations can enjoy the fruit of our struggles and efforts. There is still a long way to go, before the sentiment of "Bangsa Malaysia" can be felt by more than a small minority of the urban community in Malaysia.


So, the next time you're on the "bitching bandwagon" and talking about the Government, be it past or current administration - remember to highlight all the good things, too. Nothing good comes out from a dark, doom and gloom sentiment - especially when it's shared with the masses.

If you want to empower people - sell them a vision. Tell them what they can do - perhaps, if they can't solve national problems, teach them to solve problems at their locality level.

Show them what they can do within their own families - for better income, financial management, religious observance or educational achievement and personality well-roundedness of their children.

Illustrate to them that all it takes is one for one to be proactive and to take action - the slightest ripple is perhaps, the beginning to the biggest waves. And not to sit there, complain and feel helpless. If the Japanese, the Koreans or the Americans had this attitude, they'd never be where they are, right now.


And when you express yourself on these e-mail groups, don't add to the echo of helplessness, angst and one-sided Government bashing. We don't need another idiot that agrees with everyone else - dropping in cynical one-liners, just to feel included.

Sit back, analyse the issues, understand the context and come out with facts, figures and solutions (not just at the Government level, but also at the people level) that could help the situation.

Hold on to your intellectual integrity. Never only tell one side of the story, don't push an agenda by manipulation of facts, defer to the knowledge of someone who may have more expertise than you and be open to the possiblity that you could be wrong.

Always send your point across with politeness - never let the messenger overshadow the message. Sometimes, HOW you say things is just as important as WHAT you say.

Remember, the objective of all education, is action. It goes against the grain of being an educated person to have knowledge, yet fold your arms and remain helpless.

If e-mail groups are a form of mass education and if education is to happen, then there must be proper manners and intellectual integrity - where it's less important to be seen to be right than it is, to discover what the truth is.

The ego must be a slave to the greater good and higher knowledge, of the community. God forbid that we mislead others with our ignorance and our own selfish personal or community agendas.

(For Muslims, this is especially relevant - intellectual integrity is core to how Muslims are instructed to learn religion and other areas of learning - one which brought the Islamic civilization many great scientific and mathematical discoveries in the past)

At the end of the day, all of us have a responsibility when using a public medium like the Internet - to not dish our pure negativity and blame.

The Internet to a certain extent, made all of us a little "mini-newspaper". It's a great tool for progress, learning and action.

It should never be a tool for making the citizenry feel more helpless and powerless, about things happening around them. Be positive and retain that note of hope, which everyone can and should work on. That's what makes a people great - the sense that nothing is impossible, that nothing is beyond them.

We are both the creators and product of our own environment. You either shape it or ship out. Progress promises to leave behind, the helpless society which complains the most.

Don't be an empty vessel. Mrs. Anne would disapprove.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Thing About Talent Is,....

Malaysians are a talented lot in the arts and culture scene. I kid you not.

Last night, I was at Salsa Havana watching Devil Bunny's salsa performance. She was great and so was the rest of her team. It's hard to believe that about a year ago - we started out in the same class - she's SO good now, twirling and gliding across the floor effortlessly.

Very classy. Very sensuous. Very fast and fluid movements. Very impressive.

(Me? I'm so out of practice, have not done the salsa for 1 year and I can hardly remember the steps!! And it's intimidating to be in a club, where almost everyone, lives and breathes salsa. It's as if they were all born South American!)

But regardless, which school you've learnt from - Salsa Sam's LA Style, the Cuban Style, or some of the other schools, etc. - the variety truly enriches the local salsa scene.

And if you look at numbers of people in Q-Bar and Salsa Havana, you'd realize that the local salsa community is growing at an exponential rate. It's nice to be in salsa bars - there are more people dancing than sitting down and gulping their drinks.

This foreign dance culture is taking over our clubs, by storm. There's a very real chance that one day, if you don't know how to do the salsa, you'd be regarded as someone who doesn't know how to dance.

Malaysians are not a cultureless lot. It's not true to say that they just work, eat, complain about the Government and sleep. When they're passionate about it - they soak up the culture, better than sponge.

Salsa can be hard work to be good at and it's obvious that all these people have put in the work, in absorbing this Latin dance culture, into their lives. And they're very good at it.

I guees at one time, in our parents' days, the "twist" must have made the same wildfire impact, on their youth generation. I remember P. Ramlee highlighting this in some of his movies, then. And boy, can Malaysians "twist"!

(How wonderful if something from our local culture could be this vibrant and exciting and widely taken up with passion, by Malaysians of all races)


There's something about the passionate music beat and the way two dancers sensuously glide with speed, in unison and intertwined to one another, that's simply breathtaking to watch. Honestly, I could have sat there last night and watched people dance all night.


In particular, the Yahoo Guy was extremely good. I've known him as an acquaintance for a long time - but it was the first time I'd seen him do the salsa. And he was fantastic - it showed that he had a background in various Latin dances. If I could be 20% the dancer that he was last night - I'd consider myself quite lucky already.


It's regrettable that I'be forgotten all my steps, because 2 girls (and one of them was very cute) had asked me to dance, last night. But salsa being a dance where the man has to lead, I gently declined - as I can't remember the steps.

But I felt so stupid - at probably no other time in past history, would I have 2 girls asking inviting me to dance, on the same night! :(

I'm just crap at remembering choreography. I was relieved when Angel Rabbit Boy complained that he had the same problem. Phew! At least, I'm not the only one whose a bit daft, in this area.

But yes, a salsa comeback is definitely on the cards. I think I'm going to visit Salsa Sam's studio one of these days and rejoin the beginner classes!

Watch this space - 6 months down! (Macam real jeeee,...)

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Joe Hasham, our very own local theatre doyen commented recently, on how surprised he was at the volume of local singing talent, that we have in Malaysia.

He held an audition recently for a musical (if I remember it correctly) and he made the observation that the majority of Malaysians who turned up, could sing - and some, astoundingly well.

I would agree with him. Most weekends that I spend singing at Star KTV Bangsar, always surprises me. There will always be one person in the lounge or a few rooms away, that will just blow you away with their vocal sweetness and prowess.


Maybe we don't lack talent in Malaysia - maybe we're just like our Indonesian and Filipino counterparts. Maybe Malaysians are just closet vocal powerhouses - thinking that it's a talent that should remain private. Maybe they feel that you can't make a decent living from it, in Malaysia.

At least, talent competitions like Malaysian Idol and Akademi Fantasia seemed to have spread the singing bug, to many Malaysians. They're beginning to ask: Why NOT me?

And that is a good question to ask. We can't nurture culture - be it song, dance, theatre, films, art or writing, without a vibrant talent pool that's willing to come forward and show us what they've got.

It's talent that sparkles, attracts and inspires others, to do the same. It's talent that enriches the landscape of any culture, at any level. Not only for the current generation, but also for the next generation.

We're more than what our jobs and responsibilities dictate us to be. And a thriving arts and culture scene would allow us the space to be more than that -
it makes us more well-rounded and holistic human beings.

Perhaps, even a little superstar in our own tiny local space - whatever your hidden talents are.

Why not?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Duty To Oneself?

From Joseph Brodsky, Nobel Prize Winner for Literature:

"One's task consists first of all, in mastering a life that is one's own, not imposed or prescribed from without, no matter how noble its appearance may be.

For each one of us is issued but one life, and we - know fully well how it all ends.

It would be regrettable to squander this one chance on someone else's appearance, someone else's experience."



I hear you, Brodsky. But it's never an easy path you prescribe.

Not in a society that keeps telling you to conform and to be just like everyone else.
And where you may be accused of being selfish, if you're trying to master a life of your own, over what the community deems as acceptable.

Just Reviews, Folks!

The DaVinci Code.

I never read the book. Perhaps, I'm the only person on the planet that did not. ;)

So, I'd have to rate the movie on its own. Although I'm feeling a little lazy to get into detailed mode this morning.

Overall, the acting wasn't great. Tom Hanks was a little deadpan and inanimate, Audrey Tautou was not entirely convincing. Jean Reno was okay. Paul Bettany shows a lot of potential for future heavy drama roles.

But the star of the day was Sir Ian McKellen. Yes, our dear Gandalf in Lord of The Rings. His performance as Professor Teabing was riveting.

But I found myself missing the point of the story. The central premise is that Jesus had a bloodline and descendants that has survived, till today. And that he was a man, not the son of God.

In Islam, the belief that Jesus (or Isa) is a prophet and is only a man, is well-established. Perhaps, that's why I found the premise, not very exciting. I mean if something was to shake the Vatican - it should have been the theory propounded in Islam, as opposed to a mere effeminate-looking character in a Da Vinci painting.

Or am I missing the point here? ;)

But yes, am looking to forward to the next X-Men movie. It'd be interesting to see how they portray Dark Phoenix in a movie, as opposed to a comic book. Though I've heard that Storm had a bigger part in the movie, on Halle Berry's request. Interesting.

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Next movie review, is on Man Laksa. A good attempt by Mamat Khalid, but somehow, the ingredients were not all there, to make a it a good Malay movie.

It reminded me of many Irish movies, where the story revolved around the local community. And where things are funny from everyday, ordinary reality stuff.

Yassin played his role brilliantly and confirmed my thoughts that he's the most talented of the Senario lot, as an actor. Sharifah Aleya was convincing, though strangely dressed. I found Harun Salim Bachik to be better in "Baik Punya Cilok" though. And they could have made better use of Saiful Apek.

And there's some brilliant new comic talents out there - like the guy who played P. Ramlee imitator - Hamdan Ramlee. He was hilarious!

But yes, looking at Mamat's work - Malaysian humour and comedies still has potential to make people laugh. Lots of potential. And the guy who played the MC to the Temasya Kampung Talang (I don't know what his name is) was typically funny. And Loloq had a few brilliant moments too!

And honestly, up till two-thirds of the movie, it was really looking quite good. But the problem with most Malay movie scripts has always been knowing how to end the story properly. I thought Mamat's choice was a cop-out.

But nevertheless, a good try and I look forward to more work from Mamat Khalid. He's a funny guy and he's got a lot more to give, I feel.

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Bought a copy of Siti Nurhaliza's latest album, "Transkripsi".

I was excited to see the outcome on this one, since she was working on this with the talented Aubrey Suwito - who is also responsible for Jaclyn Victor's "Gemilang" song.
And it also involved many other talents that used to do work for Sheila Majid like Mac Chew and Jenny Chin.

Transkripsi left me with mixed feelings.

On the one hand, I liked the materials in the "Prasasti Seni" album better. On the other, the songs in Transkripsi showed another side to Siti - one where she had to underplay her powerful vocals but where it gets displayed to good effect, anyway.

Nowhere is this more obvious than the second song in the album - "Biarlah Rahsia". The piano and violin accompanied acapella effect at the beginning of the song, was chilling - listen to this in a dark room and you will understand what I mean. Siti's rendition here was nothing short of poignant and heartfelt.

Perhaps, this has something to do with the fact that she wrote the lyrics and it seems like it reflects the current events in her life. One part of the lyrics touched me:

Pernahkah kau bermimpi seketika
Berada di tempatku



Overall, I felt that this album was a bit more "Indonesian-like" in its approach. This may have something to do with the fact that Melly Goeslaw did some of the tunes like "Biarlah Rahsia" and the unique "Pastikan" - which seemed slightly different than Siti's usual Malay ballad fare.

Glenn Fredly did another song for her called "Bila Harus Memilih", which was one of the better songs in this album.

And of course, the other ballad masterpiece was "Tanpa Dendam Di Hati" by Erwin Gutawa with lyrics by our own lyrical maestro - Habsah Hassan.

(Funnily enough, I fondly remember her from her work on the movie "Cinta Bukan Kristal" - who can forget Erma Fatima's famous line to that sleazy old man - "Rumah kata pergi, kubur kata mari!". It was just the way that Erma Fatima said it - brilliant! ;))


However, my favourite song in this album is not a ballad.

It's a fast song called "Intrig Cinta" where Siti had a hand in composing the tune from scratch, as opposed to the lyric-writing, which she's had some experience in, already.

Combined with great lyrics by the multi-talented Loloq (who convincingly played a Chinese contractor in "Man Laksa"), the song starts out slow and builds up nicely in the middle and towards the end, for that cheerful "Sunday morning effect". The inclusion of the Indian violin, made for nice bridge and ending, to this upbeat tempo tune.

But seriously, this song has the makings of a theme song for a romantic comedy. I can almost see and hear it at the end movie credits of a Aziz M. Osman or Afdlin Shauki movie. Especially where the beat starts to pick up and Siti shows off her superior vocals, towards the end.

(That's the imaginary movie producer in me, talking ;). Heh!)

Overall, it's a good album,. None of the songs are really bad, although some might feel a little unsuited to her. I feel that this album might do well in Indonesia, where they're more accustomed to the sort of materials produced.

This album will please Siti fans who want to see her branch out into uncharted waters - away from her "asli and balada Melayu" forte. Although I didn't enjoy this as much as I did "Prasasti Seni" - but I was pleased with Siti venturing into some new areas and to test her her abilities there.

A good singer is a versatile singer who doesn't get trapped in genres and keeps renewing the formula.

And if she keeps evolving from a great singer to a great songwriter, too - Siti Nurhaliza will keep dominating the music scene, for many years to come.

I have no doubts about that.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Of People, Views and Perceptions

How often do you change your mind about people (or institutions) and what they stand for?

Do you ask yourself whether you've been fair to the other person? Do you entertain the possibility that people do change?

Do you consider that even people that you don't like or are unaligned with, could be right on certain things? Or do you end up questioning their sincerity, because of your deep knowledge of their character?

It's not about benefit of the doubt - although I think a reasonable amount of that is necessary in life, for us to retain optimism in anything. I know all about the benefit of the doubt - I tend to give some people (especially the people I love) too much of it.

But as much as too much benefit of the doubt can hurt you - does too much certainty on an issue, harden your stand into a prejudice?

If you thought that someone was corrupt and dishonest at one point - would you always think that? Regardless of evidence that he may have changed?

How often do we give people that second assessment or second chance, to prove us we're wrong? Or do we quickly conclude and dismiss any possibility of that, because of a multiple number of bad, past experiences?

How often do we give a chance to people who we think are well-intentioned, but intellectually or factually misguided on their beliefs? Or maybe we suspect that they're carrying an agenda, which could be adverse to nation or religion?

Do we dismiss every single intelligent thing that comes out from their mouth, thereafter? Or do we take every statement at face value - assuming sincerity and the best intention from the respective parties, unless otherwise proven?

The world is not totally black and white. Neither are people. There are some good in them and some bad too.

But how do we learn to make that distinction? When do we believe that people can (and has) changed or even if not, that they can be sincere (or even right) on some matters? Or do we regard everything in suspicion?

Is the viewpoint ever separable from the intentions (or suspected intentions) of the person saying it? Or do we give it, a life of its own and take it at face value?

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We've got to come to some point of reconciliation on the above questions. Malaysia, I mean.

For our different racial and religious communities to respond better to one another, for the common good and the future growth and sustainability of this country.

For the religious conservatives and the liberals to find a middle ground and not be embattled by raids on the streets, feeling their basic rights are violated and via verbal conflicts via the media.

For our parliamentarians to act like intelliegent representatives, as opposed to mindless automatons under party loyalty chains - sacrificing all elements of free will and integrity.

For Malay and English newspapers to not always take different angles between issues, because they've become turfs for battling political, cultural and religious ideologies, as opposed to becoming the constructive voice of what's truly important to the people - both in the short and long term.

For us to be critical in a constructive manner to our own Government (and perhaps, even our politicians) and to believe that change can come about, even if it is about 10 steps slower than what is necessary. Being cynical will defeat all our good intentions, collectively.

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For our culture to grow and not to become the football of race, religion and language issues.

There is no point about worrying about the primacy of our language being eroded, when the mass of the current urban generation has stopped looking at the development of our ethnic and local culture, a long time ago.

The appreciation and awareness in local literature, music, dance and films - is an at all time low - as compared to previous generations of Malaysians. A language without a culture that is not stunted, is just a focused medium of narrow-mindedness.

We now have Malays that are slowly rejecting aspects of our traditional Malay culture, calling it un-Islamic and inherited from paganistic traditions and embracing parts of an Arabic identity like speech, dress-code, intolerance and chauvinism, in the name of Islamization.

The Arabs did not discard their culture due to their religion - look at the way they treat their women, for heaven's sake - but we decided to, in defending ourselves against Western influence and all things culturally regarded as un-Islamic.

While the Chinese and Indians have shown how one's food, music and culture can be exported globally and that mastery of English does not necessarily weaken one's language, religious or cultural stand - the Malays have gone the other way.

As other countries around the world preserve their heritage sites and historical buildings, we demolish it to make way for a new mall, housing development or skyscraper.

And we rename roads from their English names - just to prove that we're not mentally colonized anymore - and then at the next minute, we're cheering on for our favourite teams in the English Premier League or our favourite MTV rock bands.

And in the next breath - we talk about tourism and showing off our history, culture and heritage to others, around the world.

One day, if we're not careful - we'll become exactly like Singapore - packaging and selling other people's cultures and traditions - and passing it off, as our own tourist attractions.

Those who focus on the survival of Bahasa Malaysia are focusing at the wrong end.

It is culture that promotes the survival of language, not the other way round. If the culture thrives, so will the language. If the culture dies, so will the language.

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I digress.

The point of this - I guess is that I feel that Malaysians (and Malays, in particular) are at that crossroad where they've got to question, where they're going.

As a race, as Muslims, as Malaysians and as those who hold the trust of preserving this country, for future generations.

The fundamental questions have to be asked. Assumptions have to be relooked at. The lines between allies and enemies have to be reconsidered, for the common good. And a future track has to be drawn.

Some issues simply cannot be left to the politicians - because they tend to give the answers that please everyone - and that do not resolve anything.

The dialogue and the resolution for some political, cultural and religious issues - have to be fought at the people level. For us to understand each other better. For us to grow.

There is nothing worse than being led by leaders who have no idea where they're going and have no clear vision for what this country should be, in the future. And worse, being a people who fully trusts such leaders.

You want a future for Malaysia? Well, start carving, shaping and fighting for the parts which you'd like to see - TODAY.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

American Idol Finals: It's "Soul Patrol" vs "McPheever"!!

YES! YES! YES! I GOT MY WISH!

(*Pixie - are you listening?)

Elliot Yamin has been eliminated.


And that makes the top 2 for this season's American Idol - Taylor and Katherine!!

Yeehaaa!!! Go McPheever!

But bear in mind that it was close. 50 million votes were tallied and according to Mercury News, less than 1 percent, separated all 3 contestants. (Although, 1 percent is about 500,000 votes here)

That's very, very close. It's probably the closest American Idol semi-final ever.

I'm elated that Katherine will get her recording deal. :) And I look forward to her first album and music video. Whatever happens in the final, is a bonus.

And I think it will be a great final - performance-wise - if everyone chooses the songs that bring out their best.

And my prediction still stands. I think Taylor will win the American Idol.

Alriiiiight!!! Great day so far - I feel like having a doughnut!

p.s. Pixie, I'm so happy right now, I'll take you out for belanja makan anywhere you want. But no I-Pod lah. ;)

American Idol: The Star, The Challenger and The Eliminated

This week's American Idol determines the top 2 who will go on the finals and clinch their recording deals and to stand a chance of becoming the next American Idol.

The final 3 - Taylor, Katherine and Elliot - sang a total of 3 songs each, tonight.

The first song is chosen by record producer Clive Davies (who discovered people like Whitney Houston, R. Kelly, Christina Aguilera, Aretha Franklin, Bruce Springsteen, Steve Tyler, etc.)

The second song is picked by the judges - Paula picked Elliot's song, Simon picked Katherine's song and Randy picked Taylor's song.

The third song is chosen by finalists themselves. And it is in this area that Taylor Hicks once proved what an intelligent singer and performer, he is.


My assessment and ranking based on tonight's performance, are as follows:-

1) Taylor Hicks - My take is that is he a definite finalist and probably the next American Idol.

His first song was "Dancing In The Dark" and even though his voice was nowhere near Bruce Springsteen's - but it was still a very entertaining performance, with a relatively solid vocal performance. 8 points for this performance.

His next song is chosen by Randy - "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker. Excellent song choice and Taylor's great tone and tender rendition of it (together with great facial expression) moved me. 9 points for this performance.

His last song (which he picked by himself) was a modified and upbeat version of "Try A Little Tenderness". Another great and intelligent song choice which showed off his vocal abilities and performance polish. 9 points for this one, too.


Total number of points = 26 points.



2) Katherine McPhee - This girl usually does better when someone else picks her songs. And she seems to sing better on her knees, somehow.

Throughout this competition uop till tonight - Katherine has struggled to realize, what songs suit her voice best. So, it was quite lucky for her that 2 out of 3 songs sung tonight, were not chosen by her.

Her first song tonight was a modified "I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly. It was slightly oversung (as she has a tendency of doing) but overall, it was not a bad performance, which showed off her vocal prowess. The fact that Simon supported her counts for a lot in her favour. 7.5 points for this performance.

Her second song is probably the song that will push her through the finals. Picked by Simon Cowell - her rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" was simply a magical performance - starting out with an acapella and letting that melodic voice take over in a typical musical theatre style, which is definitely her forte. The judges loved it and lapped it up. If she qualifies, she definitely has Simon to thank for it. 9 points for this performance.

Her third song is of her own selection - "Ain't Got Nothing But The Blues" by Ella Fitzgerald. I felt that this was not a very good song choice - singing a blues styled song is not just about having good vocals - it's an attitude. Katherine's always crap at choosing the songs which make her sound good.

And she came out purely singing and not performing it the way it should be performed.
7 points for this performance.


Total number of points: 23.5 points



3) Elliot Yamin - The Elliot we saw last week that pulled up his game, was entirely missing this week. We seem to be back to the Elliot that we had weeks ago - when he ended up in the bottom 3.

Admittedly, song choices had much to with his failing to perform, this week. But there was a little nervousness and under-performance, too.

The first song, "Open Arms" chosen by Clive Davies - is a bit out of Elliot's range and sounded a bit patchy. There were times when his voice was drowned out by the music. He was definitely nervous on this one. 7 points for this performance.

The second song, "What Wouldn't You Do For Love", picked by Paula Abdul was a bit better, but the both the song performance lacked the sparkle needed at this stage of the competition. It was just breezy and entertaining. 7.5 points for this performance.

The third song - Donny Hathaway's version of Ray Charles's "I Believe in My Soul" was a better performance and a definite recovery by Elliot. The song is not very well-known (but this is typical of Elliot who has a penchant for for Donny Hathaway's songs) and was not easy to appreciate - but his singing stood out and saved it. 8 points for this performance.


Total points: 22.5 points



Based on tonight's performance, my pick the final 2 for American Idol will be Taylor and Katherine.

And I think Taylor will win the competition - and deservingly too - he has a feel for music, performance and what sounds good by him.

I think Elliot is likely to be eliminated tomorrow - unless popularity has a say in it - then Katherine will go.

We shall await with bated breath, folks!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

9th Malaysia Plan: Interesting Facts and Figures (Part 1)

It's one of those gatherings that should happen more often.

About less than a month ago, I attended the National Convention on the 9th Malaysia Plan, organized by the Asian Strategy and Leadership Institute (ASLI).

It was pretty interesting mix of people - there were Ministers (at least 4 of them, made the attempt to turn up), current and former senior civil servants and policymakers, academicians, think-tanks, NGOs/activists, regulators, industry chambers and companies from the private sector.

Potentially, it's one of those gatherings where the sum of knowledge in the room, if extracted, would give you a 360 degrees bird's eye view of what has been going on in the Malaysian economy and the viability of its plans going forward - like the 9th Malaysia Plan.


I gathered some interesting facts and figures, from the presentations given by the expert panelists of the conference.

Even if you are disinterested in local (or international) economic issues, I feel that it would be useful for every Malaysian, to understand the relevance (or irrelevance) of some of these facts and figures and how it would impact Malaysia's development and survival (both economic and political) in the future.

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1) The national incidence of hardcore poverty rate in Malaysia is about 3.9%, with Bumiputras making up the highest portion at 8.3%. The highest incidences of hardcore poverty (by state) are in Sabah (6.5%), Terengganu (4.4%) and Perlis (1.7%), followed by Kedah and Kelantan (1.3%).

(Given the above statistics - it's not surprising that the Abdullah administration has decided on agriculture to be the 3rd engine of growth and to lift the income levels of those in the rural areas, particularly in the states mentioned above.)

The lowest incidences of hardcore poverty are in Penang and Selangor, where it is less than 0.05%.

The target under the 9MP is to eradicate hardcore poverty and to reduce overall poverty incidence to 2.8% by 2010.

The Government has also agreed on the setting up of a National Poverty Database and National Poverty Mapping to ensure that specific redress measures are correct and more accurate.


2) Kelantan had the largest reduction of poverty incidence from 25.2% to 10.6% between 1999 and 2004 (even under the PAS Government). And Sabah had the lowest reduction from 23.4% to 23%, over the same period.


3) Looking at the mean monthly household income in 2002, Malaysia's top 20% had a mean income of RM7745, the middle 40% had a mean income of RM2660 and the bottom 40% had an income of RM1019. The numbers in 2005 should be higher.

One part of the 9MP had a table which showed a comparison of average monthly household incomes amongst the races - where the Chinese household earns RM4,127 per month, the Indian household earns RM3,215 per month and the Bumiputra household income is at RM2,522.

(This particular table was severely criticized as being misleading - as it does not exclude the large impact of the top 5% of households, in every ethnic race. This has a high skewing effect on the results, especially on the Chinese and Indian community. The average household income of most wage earners, may be closer than we think)


4) The urban/rural income disparity in 2004 is almost back where it was in 1970, at a ratio of 2.11 (it was 2.14 in 1970). The income disparity ratio dropped from the inception of the New Economic Policy (NEP) up until 1995 and then rose again, up till now, with the impact now worse, than it was during the economic crisis.

The urban population in Malaysia makes up about 63% of the population in 2005.


5) The highest intra-ethnic income disparity (as measured by the Gini ceofficient) is the highest amongst the Bumiputras - which shows a poor distribution of wealth, within the race. Although it must be noted that the increase in Gini coefficient is consistent, within all 3 major races.

Admittedly, the economic region inequality is a far more serious issue than ethnic inequality, as fast-paced development has been focused on few states in Malaysia (like Penang, Johor, Selangor) leaving the East Coast and some of Northern States, under-developed.


6) Paid employment constituted 68% of all household incomes - 74.3% of Indian households, 71.% of Bumiputra households and 62.1% of Chinese households. Of the self employed - the Chinese make up 23%, Bumiputras make up 14% and the Indians 11%.

The central focus on the Government in overcoming ethnic income disparities under the 9MP, is on improving the earnings in paid employment. Malaysia also has an unemployment rate of 3.5% currently.


7) In the World Competitiveness Yearbook 2005, (in a comparison list between 60 countries) Malaysia was ranked 8th on economic performance - despite being ranked 26th on Government efficiency, 25th on Business Efficiency and 34th on Infrastructure.

Overall, Malaysia is ranked 28th amongst 60 countries, in 2005. (We were 16th in 2004 - that's a big slide downwards).

However, on the knowledge-based econonomy development index (from a list of 22 countries), Malaysia is ranked 17th - behind Singapore (13th), Korea (14th), New Zealand (15th) and Ireland (16th). But it is ahead of China (18th), Thailand (19th), Philippines (20th), Indonesia (21st) and India (22nd).


8) Kuala Lumpur is one of the least costliest cities to live in the world, according to the Mercer Human Resource Cost of Living Survey 2005 - it's ranked at 117th out of 144 countries and 12th cheapest amongst Asian countries.

In the Economist Intelligence Unit's (EIU) 2005 survey, Malaysia is ranked the 36th best country to live in (out of a total 111 countries) and the 6th best Asian country to live in, coming in behind Singapore (11th), Japan (17th), Hong Kong (18th), Taiwan (21st) and South Korea (30th).


9) Currently, 35% of all school leavers in Malaysia have access to some form of tertiary education. This is pretty good, considering that developed countries like America have over 40% of their school leavers, having access to tertiary education.


10) If we assume a constant and regular GDP growth of 6% per annum up until 2020, it is a certainty that Malaysia will not achieve Vision 2020's GDP size target of RM920 billion (which is the original economic target set for reaching the status of being a developed country). Assuming a constant 6% growth, we would be missing the target by about approximately 38%, in 2020.

But of course, we recognize that being a developed country is a more holistic concept than the size of the economy and measurement of per capita income.


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I shall not comment just yet - I'll leave that for the next part. But these 10 points above, should give you some economic and competitiveness indicator of where Malaysia is, currently.

Monday, May 15, 2006

The Gamble/A Week of Offers

Have just received a call on a job offer with a global MNC, that's a household name. It's a great job offer and the pay package is good.

But that'll be the 2nd job offer by a big MNC, that I'm not considering, in the last 1 year.

I referred them to another person, whom I thought had the potential to fit the profile, perfectly - if she was willing to work on it. Call it a part of the perks of being my ex-girlfriend.


There was another great offer that I turned down flat, last year - even with good pay package, perks and prospects.

There are times that I wonder, whether I will regret turning down these great career offers - and perhaps, never exploring the career, life and potential affluence that I could have had.

My life could be very different, from what it is, right now. In a lot of ways. Sometimes, I wonder whether I just have a penchant for taking the harder path.


But I've been working on this venture for the last one year now - and it's coming very close to fruition. I need to see this through. It's my baby and it still has all the potential to more than compensate, for the lucrative offers that I've turned down. If all goes well, of course.

And I enjoy the freedom of being an entrepreneur. The freedom to speak out on issues, without shackles or fear of repercussions. The joy of building something from concept to commercialization to growth.

The toil, the pitching to investors, the joy of clinching your first investment deal and thereafter, your next one and the satisfaction of a breakthrough, in each stage. It's fun.


Yes, there are risks. Yes, it can be scary - when things don't look so good. Yes, it's a great big gamble and major opportunity costs in the career path not taken.

But for now - this is the road I'm sticking my neck out on. This is where I want to be and where I shall build my foundation, for future wealth. I still have a lot of faith, that it will succeed.

It's a gamble - hopefully, with no future regrets.

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A few days ago, a very different sort of offer came from one of the blog readers. It was indeed, a pleasant surprise - in this case, both the reader and the offer.

I'm honoured that you're reading, Sir. And thank you for thinking of me, being worthy of the privilege. If there is a fit, I'll gladly consider giving it a shot - if your company thinks I deserve a wider audience.

It's been a great week of offers, so far. :) Alhamdulillah!

A Change of Emphasis

Bumped into Eddie (not his real name) tonight.

Eddie's a friend of mine who used to be a workaholic. Now he's married with 2 kids - and he's a changed man. He seems to have lost a little of "the edge".

There was a time when all Eddie could talk about were things related to money and work. And expensive cars and how it was his dream to own some of them.

And he worked at all hours of the day - it was not strange to see him at 2 a.m. in the morning, having a business meeting with some partners. To call him single-minded and driven, is an understatement.

But it seems like those days are over.

The Eddie of today, does not even have Internet access at home - because his wife wants him to spend more time with the kids. And the Eddie of today, has gladly obliged.

Money and success used to be everything to him - it's all he could talk about. But now, he looks forward to spending time with his wife and 2 kids. They are the center of his world.

And the material stuff that he used to crave for, seems to have faded into the background. He's working to live now, not living to work anymore.

It's a drastic change, really. But it does make him a more holistic and well-rounded human being. I guess the things that matter to us, changes over time and by change of circumstances.

He's still not a rich man yet, but the happiness that he's experiencing right now, makes him a far wealthier man, than most.

What a lucky man.

Evolution (Part 3)

A discussion with Azure (not his real name) on the night of Rizal's birthday party, got me thinking.

How far would I go, to stand up for something that I believe in? And to do what I think is right?

I'm not the sort who likes to look back in life and ask myself - what if?

As a result, I act very much on a combination of analysis, fairness, instinct and a clear conscience. That's usually good enough for me.

And where I'm wrong - I reflect on the course of action and I apologize (even publicly) when I'm in the wrong. And sometimes, even when I'm not - to avert worse consequences for the other.

But what happens when you take a stand on an issue and your stand has hurt the spectators, looking on? Especially, when the spectators is valued friend or acquaintance?

Is the most correct principle to keep quiet, so that other innocents are spared the splinters and richochets? Or do we just move forward and not really have to speculate, on the collateral damage, that we cannot anticipate?

I found myself contemplating that question when Azure related to me, that he was disappointed with my actions.

Even though he respected my stand and my own personal space to voice out my displeasure, on issues that are important - at least, for my generation.

And honestly, he would be one of the last people who I'd want to see being hurt in any way - I consider him a nice chap and a good friend. But I had to have my say on it - because I don't like looking back in regret.

And finding myself being silent on things which are important and which needs a balancing voice to irrationality. And bad conduct by elected leaders.

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I don't have all the answers, Azure. I respect the system enough - that I will play by it.

But whatever our capacities in an organization - be it a position holder or as an ordinary member - we have to play our role.

We make our choices and we have our own respective individual stands, on issues. Even a stand to keep quiet and do nothing - is a stand. And we bear the consequences of that stand - be it now or later.

I admire your courage in being the only one to own up, that you spoke to me. You have my respect on that one. Courage is a rare virtue, nowadays - in an age of false leaders, where organizations are not used to serve the interest of its members or the public interest.

It's not because of playing politics that I took a stand, my friend. I have nothing to gain from this.

I have never clamoured for position, power or privilege - you know me better than that. It'll only be firewood in the next life - when we're held responsible for those we lead.

And I have enough firewood of my own to deal with, right now - without even having to lead anyone else. But I am sorry that you got hurt, in the process and I'm even more sorry, if my actions indirectly led to it.

To each, his own intentions. In words and deeds.

God knows better.

Evolution (Part 2)

There are a few ways to measure how far you've come, in getting over an ex-girlfriend.

You don't think of her, as often. The things around you don't really remind of you of her, anymore. The things she gave you don't really trigger any memories anymore, say - you wear it, because it's a nice shirt.

You have a new partner and you seem to show some semblance of moving on - even if the next relationship, is a bit of a nightmare, too. But it's okay, you console yourself. You're in a new chapter.

You're over her. So you tell yourself. And that remark could be half-true, at least, depending on how much progress you've made in reconciling the past and whether you've come to an emotional "closure" on that episode.

Where you don't wonder anymore, of what could have been. Where things don't hang on the timing and intervention of certain events or persons. Where you accept that it's just meant to be.

And the truth is, you may well be on your way.

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But the only real way to know whether you're really over someone - is to bump into them again.

And to see what emotions it triggers.

And in KL this is very likely to happen. Same circle of friends, same neighbourhood, same hanging out joints. There's at least, a 1 in 3 chance, of it happening.


And so it was at Bond's on the 13th. I was having a whale of a night up till then - dinner with Loving Girl's birthday entourage and later, the whole group adjourned to Bond's for the Barbarran tribute.

And I was making my way through the crowd, from the dance floor to where the birthday group was, I saw her in a black blouse. She still looked fantastic to my eyes. And a quiet awkwardness overcame me.

But I looked down to the floor and focused on wading through the crowd, back to the gang.

Just less than a year ago, we were constantly slow dancing to "More Than This" by Norah Jones and Charles Hunter, a song in one of my favourite albums - "Jazz in The City". I remember feeling so complete - the feeling of joy and contentment was overwhelming.

I didn't need for anything else. I had her and she was mine.

And hear we are, less than a year later - almost complete strangers, in public circles.


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She knew some people in the birthday group. She came over and chatted with one of them, whose one of her close friends. She said hello to some others, too.

She was one feet away from me and yet, she seemed like a stranger whom I've never met. This person whom was the best thing (and the worst thing) to have happened to me last year.

I continued dancing, trying to act unmoved and oblivious. I was not disturbed, just awkward. We pretended not to see each other, even though some people in the group, knew better. It wasn't just me, I guess - it was mutual.

Though she put up a stronger front that I did. She always could. She's done it all her life.

Later, as the night was ending and everyone was saying farewell to one another - there was a moment when our glances met. I acknowledged her and she acknowledged me, in return.

And I almost said something - before I stopped myself - because I realized what I was about to say. Those words are not appropriate anymore - we're virtually strangers now - leading very separate lives. But yes, those words are still there - out of force of habit, because I used to tell her all the time.

It's not an ideal situation. But it's a vast improvement from where I was last year. I'm not as affected as I used to be - nowadays, all it takes after bumping into her, is a few days of nostalgic recovery and the melancholy lifts by itself. I'm much stronger now.

And one day - perhaps after she's married, we'll be right back at the place where we started off - as normal friends. Albeit with a little shared romantic history in the past.

Feelings evolve, people evolve, the past gradually morphs into the present and prepares us for the future.

Such is life,...and love.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Evolution (Part 1)

A few stories from the last 2 nights. Quite eventful.

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2 birthday parties. One was Rizal's and the other one was Loving Girl's.

They were both great parties, but in different ways. One was a surprise party which went really well. (Ms. Vavavoom, you did great! :))

The other, a birthday dinner that's becoming an annual tradition for a group of people, who only seem to meet at this event, once a year. It was a nice dinner at SevenAteNine at the Ascott. The small group was warm and cosy.

Mostly were made up of the same faces - and some, were new additions, by virtue of being the current boyfriend or new husbands of some of the girls. But it's a great tradition that should be continued.

But both the birthday kids - Rizal and Loving Girl - had one thing in common. They had someone new in their lives and they looked happier than they have in a long while.

As a friend that has observed and been there for their ups and downs, it was great for me to see both of them, being really happy. And with partners of outstanding quality too, if I might say so.

There's so much history that I've seen them through over the past few years, that I understand the significance of this moment. For them.

Happy Birthday again, to both of you. And thank you for sharing both your lives with me. I have been greatly emotionally enriched, by your presence in my life.

For all that you have taught me, for the moments when you guys were being encouraging and the moments when you just understood. And for all the good and interesting people and the vibrant colours that you've introduced into my life.


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There are other interesting stories to tell - but I've gotta run now. Will write Part 2, later. Meanwhile, enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks! :)