Why The World Needs Superman

The first movie I've ever watched in my life is "Superman".

I can't remember exactly how old I was, but my uncle brought me to a cinema in Kota Bharu, Kelantan. I was thrilled to pieces!

It was significant - because no matter how many times I've watched "Superman" - the thrill remains the same. Maybe it's the music. Maybe it's just the ability to fly and to see through everything, except led. Or to save people from disasters, catastrophies, and baddies.

Or maybe it's the scene where Superman took Lois Lane flying - I believe that's the earliest romantic scene that I could remember. And it involved a flying man.

Is it any wonder that my expectations of myself and the world, are sometimes, not grounded?

Watching "Superman Returns" last night brought back many, many memories.

Quietly, I missed the simplicity of being a child in a cinema, watching his first movie - where the world was simpler and more 2-dimensional, where people were nicer to one another and if all else failed - there was Superman to save the day.

In a world where we don't even have enough Clark Kents, would it be hoping too much to ask for a Superman, in some of us?

God knows the world needs it, today.

Something Unexpected

She came into my life, in an unexpected fashion.

If anyone had told me a few months ago that I'd be spending time with her on a regular basis - I would say that the person was dreaming. There's no possible way that I could imagine that this girl will be spending time, to get to know me, romantically.

And now, it feels like I'm dreaming. And the dream has still not ended.

There's been quite a few dates between us. And the comfort level keeps getting deeper and deeper. She's got a keen and mature sensibility, exceeding her age.

It's as if I've known her for a lifetime. I feel totally at ease, totally myself. I've been honest to hear about my past, my deepest dreams, hopes, fears and insecurities and it doesn't seem like she's heading for the door yet.

And I've even been honest about my attraction to her. And she has pretty much indicated that she felt the same. And I guess we're both curious to see where this would lead to.

You were something unexpected in my life, S.

You're like a breath of fresh air - sincere, loving, magnetic, confident, open and honest. You walk the talk, you're clear about who you are and what you want. You make me feel special and wanted.

And more importantly, there are no 3rd parties involved - it's been a while since I entertained the thought that a woman I have feelings for would want to be mine, and mine alone.

But here I am - happy in the current day and enjoying the moment. And excited about future possibilities.

Thank God for the surprises in life. :)

Football Philosophy

In the Australia vs Italy match tonight in the World Cup, the Australians put up a gallant display against the Italians.

In fact, some would argue that the Australians played better overall, regardless of whether they were playing against an Italian side of 11 or 10 people (which happened after Mezzorotti was awarded a red card for a brutal tackle).

But they lost the game 0-1, due to a penalty kick awarded to the Italians in the 95th minute of the game.

The Italians (whom were playing with 10 men) fought their hearts out so that the game would not go into extra time, while the Australians were obviously preparing for the game to stretch into an extra 30 minutes and hoping to bank on their 1-man advantage, on the field.


But it was the comment by our own Serbegeth Singh on this game, that caught my attention.

"In football, there is no waiting for the extra time. You've got to give it your all NOW, because you might not get the extra time".

It's a bit like life, isn't it?

The Australians paid dearly for that assumption - so might we, if we worked on the same set of assumptions in life. That there's always extra time in the future to look forward to.

There might not be "extra time" and 2nd chances in life. Sometimes, the only chance you get, is that short window of opportunity, to give it your all and to try to succeed.

If you succeed before the window shuts, you would have gained from making the correct move. If the window shuts before you succeed, at least you'll go down fighting, but it was just not meant to be.

And sometimes, just like the Aussies, you realize too late that the window has shut on you and all you can do, is to regret, learn from it and move on with life. And you jot it down to experience, so that you'll make better decisions in life, one day.

We don't control the outcomes - just our choices, effort and commitment.

Dilemma

Hypothetical question:

If you had to choose between these two options, which would you take?

a)something that feels perfect in the wrongest of situations, with an uncertain future outcome ; OR

b)something that feels good in an average situation, but with great potential, where the outcome is likely to be as you predicted it

I probably already know what my answer would be. But I just need to know what you guys think.

And when you're giving your answers, please specify your gender. I'm just hunting for statistical correlation, if any. ;)

Bebas Tanpa Adab?

Ini negara demokratik, katamu
Hari ini zaman Internet dan
bebas mutlak,
Tika ini, hak melaung pada rakyat, katamu
Tiada lagi pimpinan politikus rakus
bisa menindas

Hari ini rakyat lebih bijak, katamu
Selautan manusia diiktiraf ijazah
yang tidak rela diperbodoh,
Kita menuntut hak suci rakyat
untuk bersuara, untuk menanya,
Untuk memerah jawab dalih
si pemerintah


Lalu kau pekikkan dakwamu di medan rakyat
di Internet,
Tanpa usual siasat, tanpa adab,
Budi bahasa ditelanjangkan
diperkosa perucapan sinis dan celupar,
Merojakkan yang benar, dusta dan fitnah
tanpa menimbang kezaliman,
Demi menunjukkan belang jantan bebasmu

Kerana ini hakmu, jelasmu
Ini hak maktub demos kratia
Ini kudrat rakyat,
Bukan salah untuk menyoal
walau adabmu menyimpang,
Niat menghalalkan cara, fikirmu


Wahai anak Melayu,
Lupakah kamu adabmu, ugamamu?
Bebas yang tidak beralaskan adab
budi pekerti,
Debat yang tidak berkiblatkan ilmu hakiki,
tapi nafsu binatang yang
memamah hati saudara maupun lawan,
janji menang, menyuap api egois semata


Tidak bebas,
salakan tanpa akal budi pekerti,
Itu naluri si anjing
Tidak bebas,
berpuak membelakangkan yang benar
Itu anutan si jahiliyah


Bebas yang benar
Meninggikan martabat manusia
dari binatang,
Berniat murni, bersandar ikhlas,
bertindak telus, wajar dan ma'aruf,
bukan megah, mendabik dada
mengaum buas, di dalam lumpur.

Bukan bebas,
bangsa yang melupuskan adab halus murni,
bertopengkan kemodenan sesat yang hancur.
Persiaan saja ruang bebas berfikir,
Jika kau hanya ingin bebas,
tanpa berfikir.


Stingray
23 Jun 2006

Singles

I'm about 14 years late, in catching this movie.

But on Acat's strong persuasion and with The Boys strongly agreeing with him, I thought I'd invest 2 hours of my time, watching a 1992 movie called "Singles".


As the name implies, the story is about single people - the many types of them, the various dilemmas that they face in their solitary lives and the complexities involved in their relationships.

And I must say I'm glad Acat persuaded me to watch the DVD. It's highly entertaining and has all the rare elements of a good thinking movie - brutally honest, asked a lot of questions, provides a lot of interesting observations, does not pretend to have all the answers, sweet, humourous, vulnerable yet funny.

Anyone whose been single would be able to identify with the issues that the characters faced. And yes, I could identify with one of the characters in there, especially.

And almost all of the star-studded cast have gone on to do bigger things since then - Matt Dillon, (recently nominated for an Academy Award for his role in "Crash") Bridget Fonda, Scott Campbell (of "Dying Young" fame), Kyra Sedgwick (or the prettier half of Kevin Bacon's family) and Sheila Kelly (who had a stint in LA Law).

To anyone who hasn't watched it yet - I'm a "Singles" convert now and like Acat, I'd totally recommend it. It's a good 2-hour investment on a comfy couch.

Personally, I think I should have watched it earlier. Thanks Acat, for pushing me to watch this! :)

Unconditional

It felt awkward seeing her again, initially. It had been a while since we've last talked.

And that was deliberate.

But there's something about her family that makes me feel welcome. Her mother (who we fondly refer to as Ummi), her cousins, her 2 children from a previous marriage. Whenever I'm in their place, I don't feel like a guest - I feel like one of them. The chemistry is just so natural - the comfort level, all too familiar.

It's as if there was never a break of silence, between us.

I didn't plan to be there. But I thought that it would only be respectful to accede to her mother's request, for me to pay a visit, in the brief time that Ummi will be in town.

Plus, since I don't have a mother anymore - I thought it'd be nice to spend some time with Ummi, who thought well of me.

********************************************

Yes, I still feel something for her daughter. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't. Sometimes, circumstances in life requires us to move on, even when our heart is still in the same place. And being adults, we move on, like we should. Like what is expected of us.

But as the night progressed, I'm reminded of why I fell for her, in the first place. It's the many sides of her - her girlish, feminine and laidback nature, the responsible woman that she's had to be, the loving mother that she naturally is, always gauging whether she's giving enough of the best to her children.

Sometimes, there's so much joy and laughter on the surface that masks so much pain, mistakes and experience from the past. In that sense, we're similar - although I think she's survived more emotional tragedies, than I have.

Her depth of feeling and understanding of the many facets of emotions and life experiences seems to be almost unrivalled, in anyone I know. And she's far stronger than I am - she could tell herself what to feel and what not to feel.

It's not a perfect way to handle things, but considering the burden of love that she's carrying in life - she's held out, pretty amazingly.

And even when she doesn't say it - I know that she just wants someone whom she loves, to take care of her. To take all the difficulties away, if not share it, through this lifetime. And God knows she deserves it and I wish for nothing else for her.

And sometimes, I wish I was that man.

Because I'm still love with her, if I care to admit it. Because I know I can take care of her and the kids and fill in the blanks of affection and care, where it exists. And most of all, because I want to - so much.

But I am not that lucky man. And I will never be.

********************************************************

One of the the best things that I've ever been privy to see from up close, is her interaction with her children.

She's firm and fair, but rarely hard on them. There's a constant supply of open displays of affection - I don't think her kids will ever starve of attention and affection. Hugs, kisses and cuddles seem to be a natural part of how this little family works.

She reasons with them, as opposed to just telling them what to do. She's got them on a disciplined routine, but she gives them a lot of space to decide what they'd like to do with the time that they have.

And she's always very conscious of what she's not doing enough for them - sometimes, being entirely too hard on herself, for circumstances which are not necessarily in her control.

She's a single parent and it's not a perfect family. But as mother, she gets full marks from me, for making the perfect attempt.

And although she doesn't say it - I can see it in her eyes, that these children are her life, her meaning of existence. The one responsibility, that she's determined not to fail at.

Syurga di telapak kaki ibu - as the Malay saying goes. Seeing her in action with her kids, makes me understand why.

The unconditional sacrifices of good mothers for the sake of their children, are beyond worldly measures. And the only just rewards for honouring them, can only be heavenly. In almost every religion, the position of the mother, is sacred.

I would have fallen for this woman, just for the person that she is - even if it comes with the confusion, hurt, complications and all.


But the mother that she is - there's nothing untrue or insincere about it. She's full of good intentions for the children and she walks the talk, never wanting to fall short of their happiness. This is the side of her that the outside world rarely sees. This is her, at her limitless best.

The true miracle of a woman's love, is her unconditional love of her children.

All other forms of love, pale in comparison and bow in submission to this love. For truly, it is one of God's great miracles.

Like Coming Home

2 nights ago, I went to the Council meeting of The NGO. It's my first one, in quite a long time. I haven't been focusing much on The NGO, since I retired as Council Member last year.

But I've forgotten how much I enjoyed the meetings, with this bunch. The Prince and his dedicated Council Members. Well, most of them are dedicated anyway.

Some of them are like family to me. Years of friendship and collaborations, under our belt. So many shared experiences of working together. So many bittersweet memories of joy and disappointments. So much laughter shared, yet with some of The NGO's stalwarts, their commitment is undying.


But much has been done in the last few years. And we've seen quite a few of our input and suggestions make it to the 9th Malaysia Plan. Took the Government 5 years to listen, but at least, the Abdullah administration is listening and executing. I must admit, it somewhat heals the frustration of waiting - when the fruits of your labour, finally arrive.

I like being in The NGO. We've never had an ambitious power crazy President - all the past presidents and the current president are great people and the sort of human beings, you're proud to associate yourself with.

And the Council Members have achieved much together and are committed to delivering our promises to our members and the participants of our industry. We're a quiet small group of 10-15 people of all races, but we're effective. And there is absolutely no politicking since inception till now.

And I realized one thing.

I miss all of this. I miss contributing. I miss the camaraderie. I miss how alive I feel when I'm in this group and how meaningful it is, for us to be here.

And although it's not time to return yet as Council Member, because I'm focusing on my business first, at least for another year - but I guess I do want to spend some more time, contributing to The NGO and to the industry.

I belong here and I'm welcome here. And I can't deny that. This is home.

Dr M's First Shot

It finally happened today - Tun Dr Mahathir came out blazing in the newspapers and expressed his full disappointment with the Abdullah administration and the promises made to him by Pak Lah, which were not kept.

He complained of being back-stabbed by the people he picked in the past and also commented that he suffered "minor bruises", when asked if Pak Lah had done the same to him.

He also claimed that people in the Abdullah administration claimed that he had "bankrupted" the Government, after building the mega-projects like Putrajaya.

He even implied that he's chosen the wrong successor by saying that Pak Lah is not first choice and that he expects "a degree of gratitude".

The phrase "gempar sekampung" to his statements in the press does not even begin to describe it. I've been receiving calls, SMS'es and e-mails all day regarding the issue, from interested friends. It seems to come as quite a shock to many people.

I wasn't surprised - I was expecting Tun to fire the first verbal shot. I was expecting it to come a little later, though. But then, you can never truly predict Tun Mahathir's moves. He's always 3 steps ahead of everyone.

*****************************************************

The swift response by a slew of Ministers was more telling in what they said, as opposed to how many of them, had come to Pak Lah's defence.


I thought Dato' Seri Najib gave the best response that the Prime Minister is not to be blamed for everything, as it is a Cabinet decision. I thought it was good for 2 reasons.

First, that it reaffirms the collective responsibility of the Cabinet, on the policy decisions made by the current Government and that if it was true if there were any mistaken policies in the past administration under Dr. Mahathir, it is also a collective mistake by all those who had also been Cabinet Ministers, back then. (Most of whom are still in the current Cabinet)

Secondly, the only way for a Minister to dissociate oneself from a collective stand, once the policy decision is decided on by the Cabinet - is to resign. And before the issue is decided on, to speak up on the issue and disagree. Silence constitutes consent - blaming the previous or current Prime Minister for all Cabinet decisions made, is tantamount to saying that we have appointed stooges, as our Ministers.


Datuk Azalina Othman Said went one step further, by saying that some decisions were made by Ministers, and only announced by the Prime Minister. She continued to say that to say that Pak Lah unilaterally makes decisions and shoots down the former PM's plans, is not accurate.


Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz's comments, were even more interesting.

He claimed the Abdullah administration never said that the Government has run out of money - although it is common knowledge that the money for 8th Malaysia Plan has been spent 2 years ago! He politely added that they did not blame Dr Mahathir for it. How nice of them not to do so.

**********************************************************

What do I make out of this whole fracas?

First, no promise made by any current Prime Minister to a former Prime Minister can and should be binding, without reference to the Cabinet and the national interest, at that time and going forward, 5-10 years down.

No matter how grateful you are, no such promises should be made (and if Pak Lah made such promises, it's foolish of him). And neither should there be an expectation that such promises would be kept.


Secondly, I don't think Tun Mahathir is trying to topple Pak Lah, as widely speculated. It's not Pak Lah's head that he wants. Listen to what he's been saying in the last few months and you may pick up certain hints, on what he wants.

Yes, I think that he wants certain people around Pak Lah removed from prominence (hints of the persona of Khairy Jamaluddin and Kalimullah Hassan, seem to be peppered all over his interviews)and mention of his dissatisfaction on the handling of the AP issue, still persists.

Yes, I think I think he would want for the railway double-tracking project to continue and perhaps, the scenic half-bridge to Singapore too - for infrastructure development and shipping/logistics strategy (although the merits of the latter is debatable, according to some).

I think he would want to be consulted and not side-lined in Proton-related issues. (It's strange to have be an advisor to a company where certain decisions are not explained to him).

And perhaps, to play a more prominent role in Petronas and on strategic decisions on what to do with its funds.

And occasionally, to be consulted like a one-man policy think-tank on issues, because the Old Man is still as sharp as razor, especially on current economic and foreign policy issues. He's not the Prime Minister anymore - it can't hurt to consult him for advice, on certain issues.

Last but not least, I think he would like a public apology by Pak Lah, from the Abdullah administration. Never underestimate the value of respect, amongst Malay leaders. Everyone wants to be appreciated for their efforts.


I think if all these were conceded to Dr Mahathir, he would leave the Abdullah administration alone. And he will not continue creating ripples within UMNO.


The only question is: will the "price" of what will be asked, possibly, be too high to concede for Pak Lah (personally and administratively) and the country, going forward?

And the bigger question is: if he doesn't get at least half of what he wants - will he persist in his attacks on Pak Lah in UMNO?

***************************************************

Meanwhile, I think it's time the UMNO veterans like Tun Musa Hitam, Tengku Ahmad Rithauddeen, Tan Sri Aishah Ghani and Tan Sri Sanusi Junid play a mediating role between Dr Mahathir and Pak Lah, before things get really ugly in UMNO.

Some things are more suited to being settled behind closed doors and by people who no longer have a conflict of interest - as they're not in the Cabinet.


Since 1981, every 10-12 years or so, there is a huge split in UMNO.

This is (possibly) the 3rd time it's happening and this time, it's the first time that Dr Mahathir is not the Prime Minister. But as Anwar Ibrahim has pointed out - it would a mistake to underestimate Dr Mahathir.

Tun Ling Liong Sik once said that a former President of a Barisan component party can always swing at least 30% of the party's votes. Considering the significance of Dr Mahathir's influence in UMNO, it will not be impossible (though difficult) for him to swing another 21% to him, if the intent was to for him to return as UMNO President and remove Pak Lah.

The capacity is there, perhaps. But as I said - I don't think that's his intent, unless he feels that it's his only option.


The best solution here, I feel, is for the UMNO veterans to broker some sort of compromise between both parties, based on what both parties desire - preferably, a compromise that can be reached before the UMNO General Assembly.

Let's avoid another unnecessary split amongst the Malays, which will not only undermine Malay progress, but also threatens to derail Malaysia's national development, as a whole.

Every time we split UMNO and the Malay community into two, we segregate and exclude half of our talent pool, from the benefits of development - just because politics warrants it so. It's emotionally exhausting and frustrating, for most.

The competitive world is leaving us behind, as we habitually split our community, every 10 years or so. It's time for UMNO to mature from past lessons and make the best of what we have, in unity.


And yet, I see so many of the young ones out there, goading and egging for a political fight. They want to see "political blood" spilled and prominent figures fall, without considering the consequences of a political split, on everyday Malaysians. Knowing what's right is not enough, unless you do things in a proper way.

Work doesn't get done in Government when they have to focus on politicking and survival in their party. Ministers will spend more time campaigning than doing actual work. Than studying whether the Government policies are correct and suitable, or not and whether implementation is done efficiently.

And when work doesn't get done or is delayed - it is the people that suffer, especially the poor. How many of these sort of years has Malaysia had in the past? How much time and resources has been wasted in defeating the other party, whose your own kind?


There is a time to fight, and there is a time not to fight. Wisdom lies is in knowing the right time, for each one.

Lessons in Life from Bowling

Life's a lot like bowling, if you ask me.

You're playing your own game and only you can determine how well you do. Sometimes, you play the game alone and sometimes, you play it as part of a team. But it's still only your game that you have control over - you don't have any control over anyone else's game.

Sometimes, you play badly and you drag the team down. Sometimes, you're the one that plays well and you compensate for the bad games of others. And sometimes, even the fact that you played well, is not enough to ensure victory.

If you're in a competition, you're actually playing against yourself. The fact that you play well, doesn't make anyone else worse off, directly.

The victor in each competition is the person who plays the best game, against himself and his own limits.

You can choose whatever method of delivery you want - stroker, cranker, spinner, lofter, snapper. You can choose to play a straight ball, a spin ball, a hook ball or a big-hooked curve ball. You can choose the ball surface that suits the lane and your game best - it could be made of reactive plastic, urethane, rubber or polyester.

You can choose where you play, be it at different bowling alleys and on what type of surface - oily lanes, short-oiled lanes, long-oiled lanes, dry lanes, striped oiling, etc. You could have your own equipment or you can use the house equipment. You can throw with your right hand, or even your left hand.

On some days, you play really well and you manage to string a bunch of consecutive strikes. On some days, you have no open frames - you at least, pick up a spare on every frame.

And on some other days - it can be tough going. Your ball is flat in impact and you keep getting the splits, regardless of what you do. Or you release it wrongly and you get a gutter ball on your first throw. Or you've done everything correctly, yet only to have your foot trip over the foul line, setting it off.

It's a game that gives you complete freedom - to play and to adapt, in any way you want it. You choose your style. You choose your equipment. You can choose a free wrist or to wear a wristguard. You adjust your game or equipment, according to the lane conditions and occasionally, to the weight of the pins.

Some people get coached and have a headstart, because they have better technique than
you. Some people have more money to throw - so they get to train more, have more type of bowling balls and have more exposure than you.

But none of that necessarily determines the winners - guts, the ability to adjust, knowledge, passion, focus and a cool head, is what usually differentiates the winners from those who don't win so often.

And everyone has a different meaning of what playing well, means. A 200 pins average is good for someone who usually averages 180, but it's low for someone who averages 220 pins. The only gauge and benchmark, is your own past performance.


Bowling, like life, is in reality, an individual game.

It doesn't make a difference whether you're playing it as an individual player or as a team captain. At the end of the day, it's your own individual score that matters.

But most of all, while winning, losing and playing well matters - don't forget to enjoy the game.

Playing well is not just about exceeding yourself - it's also about enjoying the game, even where you're not playing as well, as you think you should.

It's about your approach, your swing, your balance, your target, your execution, your follow-through and your consistency.

A lot like the qualities required in life, itself. Add focus, determination, patience and passion to that - and you may just have a star player in your hands. And if you're a good winner and a gracious loser - you would have grown beyond what the game can teach you.


But every bowler knows this - win or lose, each strike you get is a little miracle to celebrate, each time. You learn to savour each little moment of achievement - and learn to laugh at the near-misses and the occasional gutter balls. And you savour all the spares and lucky breaks, that you get along the way.

And you make sure that the splits don't break your spirit and to make sure that the next frame, will be the best shot you've ever made.

The most important thing, is to try very hard not to leave any open frames. Because misses can be painful and may be the source of many regrets. They're necessarily a part of the game that will happen before you improve - but with time and experience, you learn not to leave any (or fewer) open frames. And you don't look back - what's more important is the frame that you have not played yet.


It's an individual game. You play alone and it's only your score that will be calculated.

And you're never bigger or more immortal than the game. The game will go on, with or without you. The team will go on, with or without you - be it for better or worse. And you have to learn to let go - because the others must be given the opportunity to learn and make their own mistakes. The game cannot grow, if no one else learns.

And the game will teach you to be gracious about time. A time for everything under the sun. To start, to learn, to grow into a stronger player, to peak and finally, to withdraw - to make way for others, to have their turn to peak.

There will always be others that play better or worse, than you. There will always be someone, who will eventually, break your record. You are not timeless - you will be remembered, celebrated and appreciated today - and yet the day will come, when no one will remember your achievements.

And when you break it down and understand all the things that will come to pass, you realize that the most significant of things, are not necessarily the biggest or most glamorous of things.

You play it for the love of the game. You play it because you enjoy playing your best. You play it because of the camaraderie that the game brings, with fellow bowlers.

You coach others to play the game, because you enjoy seeing the colours that they contribute to the game. You play it, because you're enthralled by the sound of strikes and pins being smashed, even in your sleep.

Separate between what's important and what's not. Separate between what's lasting and what's fleeting and temporary. Separate between the victories that matter and the defeats that builds your character and resilience.

And it'll become much clearer to you, what's most important about the game. And it'll show you, the best way to play the game, without missing anything important or meaningful.

Enjoy your bowling. Embrace your life. The strikes are waiting to be enjoyed.

The Wedding of The Year

As a divorced guy, I don't really like attending weddings. It's like watching a joyous occasion, through glasses with scratched lenses.

It's not quite the same when your own belief in your own "happily ever after", gets marred by your own personal experiences.

I can't seem to fully enjoy the sweetness of a matrimonial celebration or get carried away with the romantic vibes, words and expressions of the wedding ceremony, anymore - without remembering that I once announced those very same words to the world, at one time.

The most annoying thing is to have your own mind, sprinkle an involuntary pinch of salt, on every expression of romantic love, spoken between the couple. Even though they're not me and they're more likely to succeed in their marriage.

But heck, this entry is not about me. This entry is about the wedding of the year.

**************************************************

Every once in a while, you get an opportunity to attend a wedding that knocks your socks off and leaves you breathlessly impressed.

I was at that wedding last night - where we celebrated the union of the dashing Ruben Emir Gnanalingam, an old buddy from my university days (and the son of the Westport doyen, Tan Sri Gnanalingam) and the lovely and eloquent Ms. Shirieene Hajamaideen.


It was obvious that much thought, detailed preparation and tender loving care had gone into this wedding reception. And it was great seeing everyone in the family and their close friends chipping in, to make it a huge success.

It had all the ingredients of a great Malaysian wedding - a great location (Mandarin Oriental), well-dressed people (in suits and dresses - the guests were dressed to kill and there were so many glamorous looking women, I felt like I was attending the Academy Awards!), a unique concept (all the tables were named after movies), an outstanding dinner, fantastic videos and slides to entertain (lots and lots of details about the married couple, their family and friends), good music and singer selection (I don't think I could have chosen better people than Noryn and Camelia for last night's event), entertaining, humorous and heartfelt speeches (the ones by Tan Sri Gnanalingam and his son, Surin, particularly stood out. And Rekha Sen was stunningly beautiful!), a guest list that reflected the diversity of Malaysia and just the right blend between formality and informality.

And most of all - the event was filled with warmth, love and good wishes all round for the married couple and their families.

And I realized that with some families - it's not wealth, education and achievement that truly distinguishes them - it's the down-to-earth good values that they've inculcated in their children, that make them such well-rounded human beings.

That's the mark of true class and good breeding.

Tan Sri Gnanalingam was not kidding when he said that his 3 main achievements in lfe were Ruben, Surin and Shaline.

I had personally known Ruben, since our university days in 1995 - and he's one of the most straight-talking, warmest and sincerest friends, I know. He's an absolute gem of a human being.


And my takeaway for the night, was a quote that Tan Sri Gnanalingam had quoted in his speech. Apparently, the wise words came from the late Earl Woods who related it to his son, the young golf legend Tiger Woods - and it goes something like this:

"Be a good golfer, but more importantly, be a great person"


Congratulations to you both, Ruben Emir and Shirieene - may your lives together be a joyous and blessed one. InsyaAllah.

Bahagia Yang Relatif

Dalam keheningan senja,
aku terfikir
Bahagia itu relatif.

Ia bukannya kemurahan
atau kedaifan rezekimu,
Ia adalah hasil ukuran
dan ukiran jiwamu.

Mereka yang atapnya rendah,
mungkin lebih nikmat hidupnya,
lebih aman jiwanya,
dari mereka yang langitnya tinggi;
Lebih tinggi langitmu, lebih luas
ruang kosong yang terasa.

Kerna Tuhan tidak membeda
antara miskin dan kaya,
bijak atau dungu,
cantik atau hodoh,

Bahagia itu terlingkung
dalam acuan unik
keadaan dan nafsu sendiri,
bagai mutiara yang tidak bisa dilihat atau dijual-beli
tapi hanya dapat dirasai

Itu adilnya dunia,
Baik kurang atau lebih rahmatmu,
bahagia manusia itu relatif
tergantung pada puasmu,
mengisi ruang yang kosong.

Sesungguhnya, syurga dunia
hanya habuan mereka yang berusaha,
akur bersabar dan
sentiasa bersyukur.

Destinasi relatif
yang tidak punya
pembaris mutlak
untuk semua.


Stingray
3 Jun 2006

The Hazard of Succeeding a Great Leader

One of the most fortunate things to have happened to Dato' Seri Najib Razak is that he was not chosen to be the Deputy Prime Minister, after Anwar Ibrahim.

Instead, former Prime Minister, Tun Mahathir Mohamad, chose Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. I'm sure he had his own reasons for doing so and perhaps, I'm guessing one of Tun's greatest plans was to stop the great split of the Malays, (mainly caused by the rift between PAS and UMNO) by having a successor with strong Islamic credentials.

(And it worked too - the Opposition seems to be less displeased with and less effective against Pak Lah - than some of the people in his own party are)


Anwar Ibrahim might have fit the mould better, if history did not go down the way it did. And if he played it like Pak Lah did - patiently waiting for his turn.

He was a charismatic moderate Islamist, urbane in appearance and seemed larger than life to many in the younger generation.

Although he was nowhere near the pragmatic intellectual giant that Mahathir is - he had his own following from his generation - the generation that was greatly inspired by his student activism and his involvement of the Muslim da'wah movement in Angkatan Belia Islam Malaysia (ABIM).

But the Anwar Ibrahim of today is a mere pale shadow of the the rising star that he once was. Perhaps, the trauma and battling of the last few years, between 1998 and 2004, has broken his spirit. He seems to have lost his gusto and seems content playing on the fringe of Malaysian politics - content, in not being forgotten.

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But let's get back to the main issue of why I think Dato' Seri Najib is lucky to have been passed over, despite being the most popular of the 3 UMNO vice-presidents.

The reason is this: It is the toughest thing in the world, to come after a leader that is perceived by many, to be a great leader.


Especially, when one's leadership style, ability and mannerism differs greatly from the previous leader's.

It's punishing for any UMNO leader to succeed Dr. Mahathir.

He's been there for 22 years - he's governed during the greatest economic boom era that Malaysia has seen, (in between 1987 - 1996), he's seen Malaysians through 2 rounds of economic crisis (one of regional proportion which left some of our neighbouring countries in tatters, economically) and several rounds of political crisis, including the scarring Reformasi era.

He's responsible for many symbols of Malaysian achievement like Amanah Saham Nasional, Proton, Petronas Twin Towers, the Formula 1 track in Sepang, the KL International Airport, KL Tower, Islamic finance, Putrajaya, the Light Rail Transit System, the Multimedia Super Corridor, Malaysia as a manufacturing hub, the creation of Bumiputra millionaires and professional class, etc.

He spoke out on the international front, without fear or favour. And he had many open and quiet supporters in all parts of the world, nodding in agreement with his views. No matter how controversial it was - no matter how big the country he was annoying - Mahathir never backed down. He was the voice of the developing world - one of the louder ones.


And for most in my generation, he's been the only Prime Minister we've ever known. He's our economic security blanket - for as long as Mahathir is around, the economy will prevail and we'll survive through any political crisis. Love him or hate him, but you can't help but begrudgingly respect him.

Deep inside, I know this belief is ingrained within most of the people of my generation. Such is the respect and veneration for Dr. Mahathir.

It reminds me of what Dr. Mahathir used to write of Dato' Onn at one time:

"It is characteristic of the Malays that having once placed their trust and respect in a person, they are loath to revise their opinions, even under altered circumstances. Thus it is no longer their own convictions that count, but those of Dato' Onn".



I think it suffices to say that the above, is now not only a Malay characteristic now.

As far as my generation's regard of Dr. Mahathir is concerned, it has become a Malaysian characteristic.

*******************************************************

It is tough to succeed great leaders.

Pak Lah is not the only unfortunate successor, to have gone through this phenomenon.


The mild-mannered John Major took over from "Iron Lady" Margaret Thatcher and this was followed by a disastrous defeat in the next (*Correction: the one in 1997 not 1992 - thanks to Anon 2 for the correction) general election for the Conservatives, in Britain. A defeat which the Tories have never recovered from, up till today, in Labour-dominated Britain.


Goh Chok Tong took over from the iconic Lee Kuan Yew in Singapore and even though he came to stamp his own personal mark eventually, on Singapore - but all throughout his tenure, he was never quite free from the perception that he was subject to Lee's occasional intervention as Senior Minister on many issues and acted as a "seat warmer" for his successor, Lee Hsien Loong - the son of the Senior Minister.


Harry S. Truman took over from the wheel-chaired but influential and legendary Franklin D. Roosevelt, as the 33rd American President in 1944 and was responsible for many crucial decisions which led to the end of World War 2 - like the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Amongst the significant events during his tenure was the setting up of the United Nations, the Marshall Plan to revive the economies of European countries, the fight against racial discrimination in the civil service, the Korean War and at the same time, achieving a fairly strong economic growth for America.

And although he was by far, a fairer, more principled and ethical man and leader - but he was believed to have been "pressured" into retirement in 1953 over policy disagreements with those within his own party and administration. He decided not to contest in the next election, despite being (barely) re-elected in 1948.

He wasn't remembered as a great or popular American President (not in the same way that Americans remember Franklin Roosevelt) but "Mr Citizen" Truman played a significant role in the course of American and world history.

********************************************

When you succeed a great leader - 2 things could happen.

You could do a bad (or even a moderately good) job and be totally reviled for it. Or you could do a great job and still not be quite remembered for it.

And if you haven't got a sparkling personality, striking intellect, a combative stance or the aura of a visionary - your constituents will send you to the dogs.

Electorates are big on people selling them a vision - it'll cloud them so far, that they won't even notice that there's anything wrong. Voters would rather that you lie to them and hide things from them - as long as the perception of rock solid growth and stability remains.

But if you're a leader that just intends to do a good job, be a fair and consultative leader, not sell them a vision but reality, to build democratic institutions, to engender strong national competitive foundations and you're trying to get your constituents to grow as a people - you're in for a tough time. Only divinely guided prophets could survive such a thing.

And if you don't keep your promises and you're not walking your talk - you're likely to be doomed.

**********************************************

Mere mortals who come after the great leaders, are destined to be ripped apart or unfairly measured, by history. Unless they change and play to a new tune. The tune that the electorates are accustomed to - strong, bright, confrontational and seemingly fearless leaders.

When Dato' Seri Najib Razak takes over as Prime Minister one day, he should count his blessings that the public benchmark for him to beat, is Pak Lah - and not Tun Mahathir. History will have been kind to him.

The Need for Backbone and Claws

It started out as quite murmurs in the first year of the Abdullah administration.

But coming into his 3rd year, Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi seems to be facing a siege on all fronts. The rumbles of discontent are getting louder, by the day.

The rise in fuel prices, the AP and Rafidah issue, the "scenic bridge, sand and airspace" issue with Singapore, the Augusta sale to Proton (and the weak progress of Proton itself), alleged police violence and open insubordination, the perceived lack of progress on the anti-corruption measures, the perceived involvement of some of his family members in business, the rise in electricity tariffs, the Malaysian Airlines debacle and the controversial domestic route-sharing with Air Asia - are just some of the more major issues, that have been held against the Abdullah administration.

Some of the issues arose from over-promising, during the elections. Some of it arose due to poor perception and PR management. Some are legacies of problems inherited during the Mahathir era. Some it are just pure imprudence, despite all good intentions. And some of it, should just plainly not happen.

In just 3 years, the bulk of the Malaysian goodwill that backed the Abdullah administration after it took over, has just fizzled out.

It doesn't help that the former Prime Minister, Tun Dr. Mahathir has stopped short of using his political claws, to unseat Dato' Seri Abdullah. The recent interview with Malaysiakini fuelled speculation that the predecessor has turned up the volume, as far as how unhappy he is with the current administration.

Some see it as the beginning of something more sinister in UMNO. The only way to publicly check the temperature in UMNO, would be at the next UMNO General Assembly. The next one is going to be interesting, I feel.


***********************************************************

Reading Raja Petra Kamaruddin's article in Malaysia Today (dated 1st June), was even more disconcerting.

It contained some very hard-hitting points against the Abdullah administration - from a person who is not known to be a big fan of Mahathir and was perceived to be an Anwarite, at one time. It insinuated weak leadership and improper conduct on the "scenic bridge" issue, involving the sale of sand to Singapore.

It insinuated suspicious behaviour on the sale of Augusta to a foreign party for a paltry RM4 and that the current management of Proton could not see the strategic point of having Augusta within Proton.

It's understandable that the Abdullah administration may not want to seem like it's being confrontational - especially with a well-respected former Prime Minister.

But some of the issues raised, should be confronted head on. Avoiding conflict will only diminish the perception of the Abdullah administration in the eyes of the people.

There are times, when you have to stop running and start fighting. And to address the issues - even ones where it would be painful for the Prime Minister to execute.

Especially, when there are also many things that have been done right, within the Abdullah administration. It's time to tell people about it.

It is ironic that possibly the single most important achievement of the Abdullah administration, so far - openness in the media and the push for transparency within public institutions and GLCs - is also the major cause of the current discrediting of (and gradual loss of confidence in) the Abdullah administration.

And sometimes, the lack of rebuttal/denial and tactical silence backfires on them - fuelling speculation that what is alleged, is true. Or worse, it is perceived as a sign of cowardice and becomes a point of public ridicule.

The fact is this - allowing for more media openness and transparency - would have to involve the current Prime Minister being more verbally active, than the previous one. If you allow people to talk, then you have to allow for more time to defend yourself and the policies of your administration.

That's the price of openness - the volume of public opinion will exceed the volume of public productivity. At least, with the majority of people.


The sad thing is that - the truth is probably somewhere in between, lost between the point-scoring done by the argument and spin-doctoring on both sides. We'll probably never really know. And sometimes, to Malaysians, the truth doesn't seem to matter as much as their respect and undying loyalty to the leader.

But if the Abdullah administration wants to survive without going down in history as another tragic and ousted Tunku Abdul Rahman administration - it better start showing some claws and gumption.

The only sort of leadership that Malaysians respect and understand (especially in UMNO) is a strong one.

Dr. Mahathir did not survive 22 years as Prime Minister and UMNO President out of ability and respect, alone. And neither was he always right - and on some issues, he was gravely wrong. And sometimes, it would cost Barisan Nasional, a state or two, in the general elections.

But much of his political survival had to do with the ability to wield political power effectively, to serve the country's needs - be it express or implied.

He never appeared fearful, or in doubt and refused to be cowed by anyone. He didn't care, if he was popular or respected - as long as he was adequately feared and he felt that the right things were being done. He said things as he saw fit, even if he had to offend an entire nation (and sometimes, other countries, too).

And sometimes, he would make us absolutely proud, with his stand on international issues and against the bullying of developed countries, exposing their hypocrisy.


In a complex country like Malaysia - there are virtues to such an approach. Left to their own devices, Malaysians would probably only look to pull the country in several different directions, based on emotive political/racial/economic responses. It's because we are a country, that's not yet a nation. It needs clear and present leadership.


To be an effective Prime Minister in Malaysia - you must not only lead, but be seen to be leading and exercising power without fear, based on your deep-seated convictions, on where this country should be heading. The majority in your party and coalition must be firmly behind you - and not be hesitant or afraid to come to your defence, in the media or in Parliament.

You must not only work hard and be highly intelligent - but you must be willing to take on active (and even impolite) verbal sparring, with anyone who attempts to discredit you or your administration. (Some of Dr. Mahathir's most memorable comments were sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek ones. But boy, were they popular!)

And to repeat the message like a broken record - the same way Dr. Mahathir did, on the currency speculation issue.

No one in Malaysia appreciates religiousness, softness, fairness, dilligence and a consultative approach as the main brand for a leader.

It's a difficult country to run, Malaysia - and nothing less than a show of sheer political strength, will do. A Malaysian leader must show a lot of backbone and sometimes, be willing to hit others on the head, with it.

It's time to show your political backbone and claws, Pak Lah. Or risk being put to sleep by eager hunters, who seem to think that you're a toothless tiger.