American Idol - Down To Five

Kellie is out!! It's a MIRACLE! Someone whom has never been in the bottom 3, has been booted out in the American Idol.

What could it mean? Are American Idol audiences finally voting, based on talent again? It seems that way - since Katherine and Chris are in the top 2!! (I thought she dressed better than she sang, last night - after all, if you've got it, flaunt it!).

They were followed by Taylor and Elliot. And Paris had the least votes, of the top 5 survivors. She may survive again. You have to remember - she's been in the bottom 3 about 4 times and survived! :)

I'm relatively happy. What would make me even happier is to see Taylor sent home, next week. Then we'll actually have the best and most consistent 4 in the competition.

From then onwards, it's touch and go - anyone can be eliminated - as all of them would stand an equal chance. At the end of the night, it's the performance that counts. And what great performances will be in store for us in the next few weeks, as everyone pushes their abilities to the limit.

But that's 2 weeks away. Let's see whether America can get it right for another week, next week!

American Idol - Great Love Songs, Not Sung Greatly

Tonight's American Idol review is going to be a short one again. It's late and I've got a long at the 9th Malaysia Plan National Convention, early tomorrow morning.

My personal ranking for tonight's performances are as follows:-

1) Elliot Yamin - I can't remember the name of the song, (the original was sung by Danny Hathaway) but he sang it brilliantly! It suited his vocals perfectly and one can tell that he's very comfortable with the nuances of the song. Good song choice - best performance of the week.


2) Chris Daughtry - One lesson from this week is that unless you can outsing the original singer or bring something fresh to the song, don't sing it. When Chris decided to try "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" by Bryan Adams, I cringed. Bryan Adams is a great vocalist - it's hard to sound better than him at his songs.

But to my great surprise - Chris brought some fresh angles to the song and made it his own. He didn't sound bad at all. And it takes a very intelligent singer to do that.


3) Paris Bennett - Good song choice by Paris, (singing "The Way We Were") but I agreed with Paula that she over-sung the song, even thought it was overall, good. A little less, would have been a lot more - although the song was obviously not challenging enough to her vocal range. The others are more popular than she is and anything less than an outstanding performance by Paris, puts her at risk of being eliminated.


4) Katherine McPhee - I think the compliments from last week got to her head and little Kat McPheever stopped thinking. She chose to sing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing" and although it was a decent performance, it was nowhere close to mind-blowing.

It was a bad song choice. If there is one thing that American Idol candidates should know is that: unless you can outsing (or at least, be as good as) the original singer at singing their own songs OR you can bring a fresh breath and angle to the song - you shouldn't choose that song.

A good general rule would be to avoid songs from the likes of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, James Ingram, Stevie Wonder, etc. because very few people in the world, can outsing them at their own songs. Or make their songs sound better or fresher.

It's a pity that Katherine made this song choice. I think it will push her to the bottom 3, for this week. Furthermore, it was a real waste of that ravishing yellow dress she was in - a definite vote-getter.


5) Taylor Hicks - Attempting to sing James Ingram's "Just Once" - Taylor was off key in some parts and purely bad on the other parts. Another case of ever-estimating one's own abilities, like Katherine McPhee. A better song for someone like him would have been something like "Simply Irresistible" by Robert Palmer.

In the ordinary course of things, I think a performance like that would warrant a bottom 3 ending. But Taylor is one of the most popular here, so I think he'll not only survive, but also be in the top 3. Though this would be truly undeserving.


6) Kellie Pickler - Singing the Isley Brother's 'Unchained Melody", Kellie sounded unchained and not in a melodic way. Bad song choice, bad rendition, no passion, no feel. The worst performance of the week. Should be strong enough to push her to the bottom 3, this week.


Now, for my forecast for the bottom 3 - I think it will Kellie, Katherine and Paris.
And based on past patterns of voting - I think Paris would be eliminated tomorrow.

That would be heartbreaking - because she's one of the best vocalists in the competition - every celebrity coach in every single week, has said so. Though honestly, I would LOVE to see Kellie go. Though I don't think this is likely to happen.

p.s. Hey Pixie - I'm not going to be in the office tomorrow - so, you can't tell me the results! Hah! ;)

Leading Blind

The last 2 nights have been somewhat emotionally exhausting.

I've been consoling 2 friends who are pretty much similar in their character and predicament. Both are dear friends. Both are successful in their careers, considering their age. Both are younger than me. Both I consider my little sisters, in relationship. When life has turned them a bad deal, they sometimes turn to me for consolation, if not guidance.

And I guess what makes it ironic this time - is that we're all going through the same problems, in varying degrees of severity. All of us are feeling a little at sea and grappling with the same issues, mainly surrounding relationships and the inability to find meaning in any other areas, aside from work.

And yet, knowing that something there is not enough - that no matter how much over-compensating we do in other areas of our lives, some gaps will still remain.

It's tough trying to console people when you're going through the same predicament as they are. It's like telling people that things will be okay, when you don't really know for sure. Yeah, sure you've got faith and that keeps you going, everyday. But is your faith correct or misguided? Are you entitled to give other people advice, when you're struggling to overcome the same issues?

I don't know.

What I do know is that, sometimes, people want to be reassured. To be told that everything will be okay. That this empty feeling will not last and the effort to wake up and cope in another day of lonely existence, will one day end. And for all, these things, I must at least try, to lift their spirits up.


When Bond Girl told me that she's grown a little bitter and is beginning to blame all the failings in her personal life on God, I reminded her that sometimes, we find ourselves in a strange place in our lives, because we CHOOSE to be there.

Our deliberate choices bring us to where we are, even though the place is a little alien and surprising, to us.

It's because we want the best that we can get in life and we don't settle for anything less. It's because it has to feel right, otherwise, there may be a failure to launch. It's because we're willing to wait for that moment - and this apparent stasis in parts of our lives, is due to our willingness to wait for it.

Yes, of course, everything that happens is God's will. But the freedom to choose and decide, the freedom to choose our responses to our circumstances, the patience to cope, survive and fight another day - these are things within our ambit.

That freedom is a blessing. Anything that heightens these freedoms is even more of a blessing.

Financial independence that affords you the time and option to choose. Friends who don't judge and who are constantly there for you -ensuring that you don't veer off, the deep end.

Parents who understand the importance of choosing the correct life partner and gives you the space to decide - allows you to decide without being clouded by external factors. Children who give you the strength to survive the traumatic experience of a divorce and the difficult existence of being a single mother. Creative outlets that allow you to keep sane and to be in touch with the side of you, that feels and flows, more than thinks.

This generation has more choices and options, than perhaps any other previous generation of Malaysians. This is especially true of the woman - the need to be a wife and mother, is now only an option, amongst many other lifestyles.

And the men nowadays, have the option of choosing women who are not purely followers and are not regarded as inferiors. Now you can marry your equal and your marriage can be a real partnership, in many senses. And if you chose it to be so, it doesn't even have to be a local woman.

So many choices and options. So many things which are now possible, which at one time in our Malaysian history, would have been considered a figment of your imagination.

But there is a price for your expectations. And if you want to achieve it, you must be willing to pay that price. Regardless of how difficult, it may seem, sometimes.

Work at it, pray for it, ask for happiness and for contentment, until happiness eventually comes. And believe in it - that it will come over time.

Of course, you'll ask me - what happens if it doesn't come around?

My answer is possibly this - our hopes relate to what we think is possible. If the realm of our possibilities ever narrow down, due to circumstances - our hopes shall equally shrink in size.

And when this happens, you WILL settle for what you have or what you can get.

The difference is, perhaps, it won't FEEL like settling anymore - because all hope has died within you and you've altered your perspective of reality, to suit the conditions of your life. Because you've tried your best and you're tired and exhausted of being unhappy. Time, trials and tribulations have a way of shaping one's perspectives.

Human beings have an amazing ability to change and adapt. For as long as you don't give up on life and you're willing to adapt over time - it will not give up on you.

Eventually, you will be happy - because even the eventual decision to adjust your expectations to your reality, is a conscious choice.

But perhaps, the determined ones in life, are those that will take a longer time to reach that natural state - whether they fail or succeed in what they're pursuing. Sometimes, the journey is meant to prepare you to receive what you truly deserve - be it both good or bad.

The Colour of Loyalty

I was at the meeting of the Bumiputra NGO today. It has the same objectives as The NGO, except that it focuses on the Malay and Bumiputra community in this domain.

I've hardly been active in this organization lately. The reason that I prefer The NGO, as opposed to the Bumiputra NGO, is because it's a national organization that represents all races and the Malaysian interest as a whole.

Not that I think any lighter of the Malay economic agenda. It's just that I believe that the Malay economic agenda is not really the province of the Malays alone. The Malay economic agenda is a national agenda - it is the lynchpin of the political stability in this country.

I believe that the Malay economic agenda can be done as effectively through a multi-racial based organization, as it is via a purely Malay organization.

This is because the Bumiputras make up over 60% of the population in this country - there is hardly any national economic measure that you take on a general basis in this country, that will not benefit the Malays, as a direct effect or on a spill-over basis.

This is because aside from insitutionalised preferential policies, over 60% of this country are made up Bumiputras. They make up the dominant political party in the Government in the country with 3 million people, close to 12% of the population and makes up close to 20% of the entire Bumiputra population.

As a ratio to population, for countries of with a similar sized population, it's probably one of the largest political parties in the world.

If you address graduate unemployment in public universities, the main beneficiaries are Bumiputras. If you create a program to encourage innovation in GLCs, the main beneficiaries will be Bumiputras. When you give out Government contracts, the main beneficiaries will be Bumiputras.

If you address poverty eradication in Malaysia, the main beneficiaries, are the Bumiputras. When you focus on improving R&D in universities, the main beneficiaries are Bumiputras. When you are looking at improving the performance and pay within the civil service, the main beneficiaries are Bumiputras.

You get the point, right? But I'm digressing.

Sometimes, it's easier to be in a national organization and just do things for the benefit of Malaysia. This way, you get to utilize the best talents in this country, for the benefit of everyone. No one will begrudge what anyone else gets, as long as they benefit in some way, too - on a meritocratic basis.

Splitting things by race is counter-productive in the long run. It splits your talent pool and encourages us to "fight" one another, instead of combining the best talents that Malaysia has, to expand the economic pie and better distribute the country's wealth. Not to mention to prepare an economically stronger Malaysia against the rest of competing world.

Even that is digressing. I'll come to the real point in a while.


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As I sat in the meeting today, I advocated a new direction for the Bumiputra NGO. It's a necessary direction and it's a big holistic issue that has to be addressed.

Because otherwise, the creation of a thriving Bumiputra Science and Technology Community, will remain a pipe dream.

Ignoring these structural problems will leave our universities weak, our innovation capacity in GLCs diminished, our talk on human capital development and Bumiputra participation in the high-value added entrepreneurship and innovation, pure talk. It will leave the Bumiputras not strengthening the areas which they are strong, preferring to play in an area where they are relatively weak and of limited impact, to a smaller comunity of beneficiaries.

But someone needs to address the issues. Some organization should.

And the Bumiputra NGO is exactly within the right space to help solve part of these problems, at least. There's no one else in this space, within the private sector - who will be willing to step forward.

But to my great disappointment, they preferred not to address the issue. They preferred to play in a smaller world and a smaller niche, with a smaller impact and benefitting an even smaller community. Even though there is a bigger problem that needs to be tackled. Even though this is where their efforts would greatly benefit the most number of people they represent.


About 2 years ago, I would have fought that decision tooth and nail, because it is an important decision to make. But now, I find myself - unwilling - to fight the majority on their decision. Even though I realize that the important decision and direction taken today, would greatly affect the Bumiputras in the long run - causing them to lag behind.

And whether we'd like to admit it or not, if the Bumiputra community lags behind (from an economic, knowledge and/or entrepreneurial sense), then Malaysia will lag behind.

I was unwilling to fight the majority in the Bumiputra NGO - because I can't move this mountain alone, if no one wants to help. And because I realized that some things are best learnt the hard way - because otherwise, you'll look like the only madman in the world, proclaiming that the sky shall fall on us. Sometimes, you have to allow the learning to take its course - because no one forgets the hard lessons.

If I push this case, I will look like an unreasonable lunatic. I'll be labeled difficult and disagreeable. Or perhaps, just a loud-mouthed troublemaker who just can't leave things be.


I'd rather carry on this battle in the national organization - The NGO. Sometimes, initiatives that we do on a national basis and for the benefit of all, is far more impactful for the benefit of the bulk of the Bumiputras - than initiatives that we carry out, in the name of the organizations that brand themselves as Bumiputra champions.

At the end of the day, it's about real impact and your ability to effect gradual but widespread change, on a mass level. It requires you to have the interests of those outside of your own (or directly related to your own) vested interest, because you care enough to change it and because it's necessary.

It requires you to love your country and your people, more than you love yourself. At least, some of the time, if not all.

Not because you stand to make money out of it. Not because it's easier. Not because it seems that that's what the majority of your compatriots want.

It's not your colour, your language or your racial origin that determines how loyal you are to your own community.

More importantly, it's your willingness to fight the tough battles that have to be fought for the benefit of all Malaysians, including the Bumiputra majority.

If you fight the good fight for the benefit of all Malaysians, you are a more loyal Malay, Chinese, Indian, Iban, Kadazan, etc. than any of those who fight under the name of racial loyalty. The national interest must first prevail, for the racial interests to be preserved.

For where would each of our racial loyalties bring us, in a Malaysia, which 20 years down the road, may look like destitute present-day Jakarta?

Get your eyes off your skin colour and keep your sight focused on the coming tide. No one will care which race you came from, if we've all drowned. You need to keep alive, for the differences to matter, at all.

Are Our English Newspapers Without Religion?

While reading through today's Utusan Malaysia, I came across the "Kemusykilan Agama" section by Mohd. Farid Ravi Abdullah.

The headline intrigued me as it stated "Tidak Haram Bermain Biola". A reader had inquired whether playing musical instrument with strings were haram (prohibited).

The answer by the columnist, Farid Ravi Abdullah was pretty interesting. I'm producing it here verbatim in Malay, so as to avoid any misinterpretation:

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"Bilakah muzik dan nyanyian menjadi haram?

Kebanyakan nas yang mengharamkan nyanyian dan muzik adalah apabila ia bercampur dengan perkara-perkara haram seperti nyanyian disertakan dengan arak, pergaulan lelaki dan wanita tanpa batasan, seni kata yang bercanggah dengan iktiqad Islam, muzik yang digunakan yang melampau seperti rock, yang pada hemat saya tidak mendatangkan ketenangan malahan mendatangkan ketegangan emosi yang tidak stabil.

Nyanyian dan muzik hukumnya harus selagi mana etika Islam dipelihara di dalamnya seperti nyanyian menggambarkan keindahan alam, kasih sayang sesama manusia, ketuhanan, kedamaian dan sebagainya.

Kesimpulannya, tidak salah saudara main biola atau alat-alat muzik yang lain seperti seruling, kompang dengan syarat alat-alat itu tidak melalaikan saudara daripada mengingati Allah dan melaksanakan tanggungjawab saudara sebagai seorang Muslim.

Sebenarnya, jika kita amati dan fahami konsep muzik dalam Islam, ia boleh menjadi wasilah dakwah kepada kebaikan dan menjadi satu alternatif ke arah keharmonian."

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Aside from the interesting interpretation taken by the columnist, the thought struck me - why is there no religious content in our English newspapers?

Hishamuddin Rais asked a few weeks back about why the English-speaking (or more accurately, English-writing) Malay writers don't write in Malay. I argued in one of my entries that it goes beyond preference of language of expression and proficiency - it's an issue of the worldview related to a particular language.

Malay newspapers (and some tabloids) by nature, Malay-centric and are catered more towards the issues that the Malay community enjoys - politics, polemics, religion, scandals, entertainment and purely hot gossip.

The knowledge, business and technology content is rarely very deep and is conveyed on a very superficial level, perhaps catering to its readership base, which perhaps comes from a wider range of income and education levels. One-sided views are pretty much a norm in Malay newspapers - be they owned by the Government or the Opposition.


But I noticed another thing today : How come I've never in my lifetime come across a Q&A column on Islam in the English newspapers? (The IKIM column in NST does not count because it's a watered down, urbane, one-way sermon and usually without any references to specific religious texts even, sometimes)

I would understand if the paper were owned by non-Muslim parties (and some of their papers do have columns on Taoism, Feng Shui and other beliefs and practices) and there is no imperative for them to do so but what about an English newspaper owned by the Muslim parties, like The New Straits Times?

Are English-reading and English-speaking Muslims (especially Malays) in Malaysia doomed to never have a religious advice column, in any other language, other than their native tongue? Are our Muslim owned newspapers destined to be areligious?

Is this deliberate or is it a practice we unconsciously inherited from imitating English newspapers around the world?

Is that one of the reasons why the worldview of those who express themselves in Malay and those who express themselves in English are so divergent, sometimes? And why the views of the likes of Sisters in Islam (SIS) carry so much more weight with the English speaking community, than those that do not?

I'm just asking a question, to provoke thought and debate. It's good for us to know the substance of what really divides us - rather than just scolding people about the language they speak and write in.

The medium of the language carries a worldview with it. That's my suspicion. It may or may not be deliberate - but what happens is that we're creating Malays and Muslims on 2 different trajectories of economic progress, intellectual growth and religious consciousness in Malaysia - with fewer and fewer common things between them.

That's why they struggle to communicate, sometimes. It's not the language - it's the worldview, shaped by the creators of the medium.

American Idol - The Final 6

Ace is OUT. And I lost the bet to Pinky. Drat!

It seems that there is a pattern nowadays. Always bet on the 2nd worst performer to be kicked out (actually, that's not even true for last night - Ace was only 3rd worst, I felt, after Kellie and Elliot)

But the surprise was that Chris Daughtry (gasp!) and Paris Bennett was in the bottom 3 last night, even though they delivered some of the best performances, from last night. (In fact, Paris's mature performance brought tears to my eyes - sometimes, the talent is so wonderful that it touches you, in a very deep, poignant way)


If I'm not wrong, the only 2 persons that have never been in the bottom 3 are Taylor Hicks and Kellie Pickler - no matter how well or badly, they performed. This shows a strong loyal fan base.

Everyone else has been in the bottom 3 before and some, like Paris, Ace and Elliot, have been there more than once.

What does that mean exactly?

It means that Kellie and Taylor are prime candidates to be in the top 3, because of their strong voting base.

It means that in the next few weeks, ceteris paribus, we are likely to see Paris, Elliot, Chris and (God forbid!) Katherine eliminated. Even though almost all of them, have got more talent than Kellie or Taylor.

My prediction? Heartbreak episodes of American Idol coming up. And the American Idol for this year, may just be a male or female equivalent of Mawi - more aura and popularity than talent.

But since I've been wrong about Ace (and yes, Pixie was right, darn it!), let's hope that my predictions are wrong.

Survival from elimination has to more with luck than performance or talent, from next week onwards.

American Idol/ The Minister & The NGO's Journey

I only managed to catch the last 3 performances of American Idol tonight and snippets of the others. Came back late and am too tired to do a proper review. Sorry, folks!

But from what I've seen so far, I don't think Ace Young will be kicked out this week. He picked a good song and he sang it well.

Katherine McPhee was definitely the best performer tonight singing "Someone To Watch Over Me". What an amazing performance - she was cool, composed and vocally mesmerising, all at once. If she keeps this up, she will be an American Idol.

Second best performance tonight was by Paris Bennett. Can't remember the name of the song - but she sang it brilliantly and the judges loved it.

My gut feel for the bottom 3 this week is Elliot Yamin, Ace Young and Kellie Pickler.
And I think poor Elliot is gonna be kicked out.

Pixie - you're have gonna to pay up on your stake, I think. ;)

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Was busy with a 9th Malaysia Plan function tonight for the NGO tonight, where an idiotic Minister was granstanding to the audience and totally did not allow a panel which had 4 top GLC CEO's and 1 private sector CEO, answer any questions.

I had mixed feelings about tonight's function. The NGO made the most money that it's ever made in a single event and broke the record which I set in 2002, by a total of RM5,000+. I was pleased about that - it doesn't reflect well on The NGO, if event income records have not been broken in 4 years.

And part of the reason was this was the highest we've ever charged for an event (at RM80) and still managed to get an audience of about 120-130 people. (Although my event in 2002 is still holding the record for the largest turnout, for a single event at 180+ people)

But because of the Minister's monopoly on the audience tonight and where none of the panelists got to talk, I think this particular event gave the least value for the money spent. We never got to hear the experts talk on their particular domain expertise and niches.

Well, this is what happens when you get a Minister that's publicity-crazy. He's a politician 24-hours a day - and he doesn't even care how much value he's compromising for the audience's time and money.

He's not a dumb chap - he's a got a postgraduate degree in an engineering major. But sometimes, I feel that he does not have any respect for knowledge - or for the quality of knowledge, that can be garnered by others. He just likes the sound of his voice too much.

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About 3 years ago, in the same venue, I locked horns with the same Minister in a Q&A session. Things got so heated in the debate that he finally raised his voice at me and said, "SIT DOWN, YOUNG MAN!"

In a polite but nonchalant manner - I replied, "Thank You, Dato'". I was not going to give this man any face - any man who has to pull rank to win an argument with me, in front of over 100+ people - is not going to win my respect. Especially, when he's a Minister - I expect a bit more, from my nation's leaders - although almost always, I will get disappointed.

I remember Dato Ariff Nun of MDC walking up to me after the Minister has left and said to me, "You've got balls, boy!" and then he laughed that familiar laugh.

What was there to be scared of? I was right on the debated issue.

And you know what the ironic thing is? This Minister had a crucial role in shaping the initial form of The Program - the bad part. One that we're still stuck with today - from a personal decision made out of political expediency, because elections were around the corner.

There are times when I do regret making deals with bad men. But I didn't know any better, then.

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It was strange seeing the Minister again in the same venue and this time, when I was a part of the organizing committee for tonight's function.

And to see him agree with the views that he vehemently disagreed with, 3 years ago.

And for him to use the same words that the people in the NGO introduced about 4 years ago, within the industry and lobbied to the Government. I could see that he's beginning to understand and to reach the same conclusions that we've reached, about 3-4 years earlier.

Well, it's bloody well about time, Minister!

It was nice that he acknowledged the NGO's work all these years. He mentioned The Program in a very positive light as a product of the NGO's lobbying and I can't help but smile. And he (together with Badman of the newly re-branded Mad Decker organization) welcomed more policy feedback and implementation assistance from The NGO.

The Minister has even put a small new fund under the charge The NGO, to cover a certain domain niche focus area under the 9th Malaysia Plan.

But I still had mixed feelings, somehow. It has been a long journey up to this point of recognition - although The NGO was still a relatively small organization of a few good men, but it has gained much respect and traction over the years. But we've been lucky - most times, we've always had an eye for recruiting good people. The same is true of The Program, too.

But seeing the presentations by 2 of the CEOs tonight and the Minister made me a little concerned. Their ideas were stale and looked like old ideas repackaged in a new box. Where are the new ideas? Where are the breakthrough insights and strategies?

What is the point of the 5-figure salary for most of the senior staff of the organization if they're not thinking and just waiting for the answers to some of the problems that this nation faces, in this particular domain? We're paying fat cats that doesn't really do any hard thinking and does not even implement very well.


Yes, I'm consoled that they're welcoming our feedback from The NGO. It makes it feel like all the effort and nurturing of the last few years, by some of the pillars of the NGO, have not been in vain.

My only fear is that this is the key thing that they're depending on, to solve some of the more strategic barriers, that Malaysia faces. Be it from both a policy or an implementation perspective.

If part-time volunteer professionals in The NGO is all this country has to take the thought leadership to transform Malaysia to the next level - then, I'm worried.

I never had any doubts that The NGO is one of the most experienced and effective organizations within this domain - but if we're the best in their eyes - then, it may not be enough. Malaysia needs more than that, to make the next leap.

Because thinking and implementing policy for national issues - cannot and should not, be a part-time job. That would be like rowing with only one paddle, when everyone else is using two.

This country needs more and it needs radical changes in organizations that are of national importance.

We cannot keep having Ministers who don't listen and have over-grandiose ideas (but with little idea of how to implement it) and CEO's of GLCs that eventually begin to act, like their hands are tied to their political masters or their unwillingness to drastically reform the organization, preferring a slow, organic approach.

And truth be told, there'd be nothing wrong with that perspective. If this were still the 20th century.

National policies are too important an issue, to be left to whims and fancies of politicians. They're too important for our people and they're even more crucial at this stage of Malaysia's development - where it's either the leap is made or regression is but a certainty.

And unless Malaysia comes to that realization soon - it will be charting its course under ambitious, presumably well-meaning but strategically (and sometimes, intellectually) misguided hands.

Dear God,....keep us under Your blessings and keep us away from bad, indecisive and incapable leaders.

Amin!

Ombak - by A. Samad Said

Ombak yang menjamah
kakiku sekali
tak kan dapat
kukenali lagi

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Aren't there things in your life that only passes this way once, never to return or be repeated?

Kamelia - by Sweet Charity

A part of the lyrics goes - I think the chorus part goes (as I remember it from karaoke) as follows:-


Tiba-tiba
Langkahku terhenti
Sejuta tangan telah menahanku
Ingin ku maki

Mereka berkata
Tak perlu kau berlari
Mengejar mimpi yang tak pasti

Hari ini
Juga mimpi
Maka biarkan ia datang,
ke hatimu
ke hatimu.

This is a great 70's song by Sweet Charity. :) Very few karaoke songs are this much fun to sing.

Choices and The Price of Consequences

Perception is Reality. That's what Rizal's blog says.

And I guess as far as much of the world is concerned, that's true.

This is my first serious personal piece, in a while. Something happened today that me wonder how I've been perceived by others - after my divorce. Especially, by my peers and more importantly, my elders.

I've been quiet in the last several day, mulling a few things in my head. Of choices and consequences - and sometimes, the unintended price that we pay for such choices.

I've learnt that sometimes what we intend from our actions, is not always understood. But based on an incomplete set of facts, the interpretation of what is perceived, becomes the reality for those who perceive us from the outside world.

Action not only speaks louder than words - it becomes the solitary and dominant voice when there are no alternative of words offered, to explain the truth.

Sometimes, our elders teach us that all that matters is the truth. That's half of the truth, actually. The truth is actually made of both what really happened and what people believed happened. Only when the two are aligned, does it become the absolute truth, in both the subjective and objective sense.

Unless both are aligned, all that you can verify for sure are your own intentions and that God knows better. But the reality of the world, may be a different one.

And "truth" no matter how true, will fall, when in collision with an opposing public perception.


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"What are you on about, Stingray?", some of you may be thinking.

I'm talking about our intentions and the choices we make, based on those intentions. And that sometimes, no matter how good-intentioned one is and the commitment one makes to back that intention (or perhaps, conviction) - one may still get it wrong.

Because choices that are normal are choices that do not break society's accepted norms. Just because one has decided to be an exception to the rule, does not mean that one will be measured by a different yardstick, by society.

And God has never promised us a rose garden for the good, in this world. The rose garden in return for good deeds, is a promise for the next world. But there are no guarantees in this world. Doing the right things may still get you in the wrong place with the worst of possible conclusions.


I'll give you an example. If you choose to be honest and incorrupt in all your financial dealings, you will know that your hard-earned money is clean and I guess God knows, too.

But you may rise slower in wealth and stature than some of the other corrupt fellows that have decided to swindle their Government, their fellow citizens, their taxpayers, their political party members, their clients, their business partners, their creditors, their minority shareholders, etc.

Some people may notice that you're an honest businessman. Most other people will notice that others are more successful than you, though they probably won't get into details of why, that is so. (Note that I'm not saying that being dishonest and corrupt, is the only way to prosper financially - all I'm saying is that it's a POPULAR way)

You've made a conscious choice to be honest. And you will stand by it, come rain or shine. You refuse to be bought. You believe that you're doing the right thing - for yourself, for your business, for God or for society - whatever your own motivations may be.

But the issue is about the consequences that you're willing to live with, for the conscious choices that you make. Are you willing to pay the price - of being an honest man, all your life? Letting go of every pecuniary opportunity that doesn't feel morally right?

You know what you think, probably. You know what your religion ordains for you. But you don't know what society will think of you. Society's values may differ from your own - in a society which values materialism above all else - being an honest man may not be an asset - it may be a liability. Or an impediment to wealth and stature.

Are you willing to pay the price of being the odd one out in society? Most people don't want to - social conformity is more about being accepted and sometimes, has very little to do, with being right.

Most of us, don't want to be right - we want to be accepted by the bigger crowd. So we conform to all of its expectations - we dress accordingly, we talk in a certain way and we follow all the values that would get us accepted, with open arms. We want to blend in, to be part of a bigger grouping. We shape the things we want, to the things others find cool. There's a sense of security in uniformity of values.

And somewhere along the way, we frown upon individuals and individual thinking. We frown on non-conformity. We frown on people who are neither nor there - just middle of the road and seemingly undecided, on their social and moral standing. In Rome, do as the Romans do, people say. But what happens when you refuse to do so?

Sometimes, the choices you make will decide whether you're in or out. And most times, in social groupings, the choice is that simple: Are you in or are you out? Conform or get rejected.

(Those that don't drink or smoke in a club in KL, nowadays, will know exactly what I mean. These are awkward times, to be middle of the road. Much has changed in the last 10-15 years)

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In the last few days, I've pondered my choices in life. And the price that I've paid for it.

There are some choices that I don't regret.

Of not becoming an UMNO member, because I still don't believe in a race-based approach in Malaysian politics and because I believe that politics should be about contribution and not about benefitting from the contracts gravy train, which is the main reason, why most of my peers are in UMNO.


Of standing by my principles, even when it would have been more lucrative not to do so. I remember when the CEO (Mr. No Backbone) offered to make me VP of The Company, if I toed the company line on The Program.

The CEO told me that I could join the Company but I would have to leave my team "outside" and to silently betray the Government's original objectives of The Program. The team were not necessarily welcome there and I might be asked to dismantle them. I was to their bidding and to forget all the things that so many have fought for, in the previous few years.

I refused, stuck to my guns, voluntarily resigned and battled to save The Program from the outside - much to the CEO's annoyance.

The external pressure the NGO exerted from the outside to the Government, finally made The Beast leave The Company and The Program is still alive today in it's original form, albeit a bit battered. But it still holds great potential for the future, under my successor's (my former deputy) steady leadership.

I could have stayed on, sold out on my principles and continued earning a cushy five figure salary and cut a much more attractive bachelor, as the youngest VP in The Company. But some things are not for sale - EVER.

But yes, I'm still poor today, by conscious choice. I'm starting all over again as a struggling businessman, in a new start-up with a lot of potential.

And yes, there are times when I wonder how different life would be, if I was less rigid on my principles and more conformist to the norm. Whether some of the women I had a relationship with, would look at me differently - as a prospective husband candidate. It's an interesting thought to entertain.

But it's a fleeting thought. I have absolutely no regrets on that decision - although it was one that had momentarily, made me less successful.

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But there are decisions that I regret and where the price of consequences, I have unwisely overlooked. And this will be one of the frankest admissions I've ever made in my life. But it's necessary - for me to acknowledge it. No matter how uncool it makes me look.


One of the main one decisions is my prolific search for a wife, after my divorce. Believing that trial and error and getting to know someone was the only way to succeed, there were many "candidates" that I've inadvertantly hurt, once I realized that they were not the one.

I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. If I failed with one person, I immediately moved on to a next "dating" candidate within weeks, if not months. If I was not in love with the person - then surely, I should try harder to find someone that I was truly in love with.

Nothing in my life, comes without effort. And as far as I was concerned, I was putting in the effort - to be married again. To start a family.

It was a simple reasoning. So simple, that it can only be thought-up of by a simpleton. Like me.

And in my effort, there have been many women that I've got an opportunity to know better and attempted to feel true love for. There were many hearts that have been broken, due to some gross misjudgement of my own feelings. All of them were good people and I regret the hurt that I've caused them.

And I found two, that I fell MADLY in love with and I've been hurt, both times in a triangle of sorts. Had any of these 2 said yes to me, I'd be married in a few months, if not now.

But all this effort, to be married again - had partly caused me my reputation. Within some parts of my peer group - I became known as a "player" - perhaps, judged from the number of women that I had been dating and the negative outcomes, that are attached to it.

In fact, I remember when N told me that her sister (someone whom I regarded as a relatively close friend) warned her about me and said - "that one's a player". Thankfully, in the short time that she was with me, she decided to go beyond the cover and to read the book by herself. Recently, I've had the same phrase repeated to me by some other friends, whom I thought knew me better.


But this is not how society works. For the large part, I think our society still believes that love, fate and jodoh are supposed to come to you - it's not something you look for, actively - like Indiana Jones hunting for treasure.

There's sort of this unsubstantiated belief that life will provide you one, when the time comes. And it's based on nothing, but faith.

I believe it, too. But I also believe in effort. And not sitting there and waiting for things to fall out of the sky. We make our own luck dengan ikhtiar - after all, God helps those help themselves, right?

However, my blindside was that I did not see how society would perceive and judge my "effort".

Some think that I'm deliberately going out there, to break hearts - that I'm a "player". Some think that I'm not thinking and just falling too hard, too fast and sometimes, for too many people. (And sadly, there is some truth to that, in a few past instances).

Some think that I come across as desperate. And yes, there is some truth to that. I'm desperate to find the right person, to enter into holy matrimony. I'm desperate to have a family, that I can love and shower with affection. I just know that I'd make a great father and hopefully, at least, a good husband.

I'm desperate to have a life that has meaning, beyond contribution, personal achievement and success, however it is measured. What is the meaning of all this - if I am alone and if I die alone, unnoticed?

And they've all told me this - friends who care enough, to be frank and honest.

And I guess it's here that I have to apologise, not for my effort, but for not being aware enough of how society may perceive my actions. And perhaps, for hurting so many people, with my uncontained zeal.

My intentions were straighforward and although my attempts were manifold and prolific - I never considered the women I've dated, as mere statistics. There was something special about all and each one of them, some attribute or another that I would find attractive and appealing in a wife and if it's any consolation, I'm still on talking terms (or at least, writing terms), with all of them.

But intentions alone are only half the story. Our actions (and the consequences of our actions) speak volumes louder about who we are, to society. Inadvertantly, in society's eyes - I have become a "player", albeit an accidental one.

I don't want to be known as a "player", because I'm not and it keeps away all the good people from knowing me. I just want to be a family man. I'm getting older and I guess I've decided that the current way, is NOT the way I want to live my life. And I make no apologies for it.

But I aim to be more mindful about my future actions and to consider how others would perceive it. We live in a society and although society isn't always right - being a non-conformist individual, should always have its limitations. (Especially, when it leads to a negative moral perception)

Lest we ignore it and allow a mistaken interpretation of our past, to shape a wrongful outcome of our future.

Adibah Noor - What A Star!

Bought a copy of Adibah Noor's debut album "Terlalu Istimewa" last night. It was one of the best RM20 purchases, I've ever made.


According to the grapevine, Adibah Noor had problems getting a recording company to produce her album. So, with some support from some talented musicians in the country (which includes Azlan Abu Hassan, whom to me is the most talented R&B composer between the Adnan brothers), she went out of her way and produced the album on her own.

Gutsy woman. Big gamble - for a big woman. But I would say that it has paid off handsomely!


It's a great debut album and shows how many people have underestimated Adibah Noor's ability, as a recording artiste. She's definitely got one of the best vocals in this country. Anyone who has heard her sing live - can attest to this.

The 2nd song in the album - "Putih" has such an upbeat and uplifting guitar-strumming "Sunday morning effect" on me. The best song in the album, as far as I'm concerned.

The next song, "Fantasi Sebuah Cinta" is a sentimental ballad that has Azlan Abu Hassan's beautiful arrangement written all over it and shows off Adibah's strong vocals to good effect.

"Joget Hati Senang" is pleasant to the ears and Adibah shows another side to her - her ability to render a joget tune flawlessly and in a very festive, localized "Melayu" fashion. She sounded like one of those Hari Raya tune singers from the 70's!

"Terlalu Istimewa" is another sweet but sad ballad, another Azlan Abu Hassan coup. Adibah sang this well and the arrangement was just exquisite. Adibah wrote the lyrics for this one - showing off her budding talent as a lyricist.


The remake of "Ikan Di Laut, Asam Di Darat" reminds me of one of Roslan Aziz's modification to P. Ramlee songs in Sheila Majid's album "Lagenda" - albeit not in a jazzy way. It's a modern version of an old tune and is given a new lease of life, with bass, latin percussions and a slice of acapella. Adibah sounds cool, breezy and relaxed here.


"Pengorbanan" is another good ballad by Azlan. It's still a good ballad, but at aboout this point one wonders whether there are too many sentimental ballads given to Adibah and the similarity in the sound and music arrangements start to show. There were parts here where Adibah's vocals, sounded like she was singing a theme song for a Disney animation movie.


"Begitulah Asmara" is an interesting piece, although I felt that they could have picked a better lyricist, for the song. "Hanya Restu" is another Azlan ballad with lyrics by Adibah but it didn't sound similar to the earlier ballads and the lyrics seem to suit the song pretty well, somehow.

"Terlalu Hina" is a rock tune that showed Adibah's potential in tackling a wider repertoire of songs. And this song has a strong social message - villifying child molesters and abusers.


My only criticism of this first album is that there were not more songs that showed Adibah's ability, in other song genres - perhaps, hip-hop, jazz, a rap team-up with another group, or in soft rock/alternative rock music. But there are always future albums, to look forward to. :)

Overall, as a debut album (packed in with 6 minus one songs, if you want to practice your karaoke ;)) and for just a price of RM20 (with RM3 going to Majlis Kanser Nasional (MAKNA), MERCY Malaysia and Yayasan Sultanah Bahiyah), "Terlalu Istimewa" is a MUST buy!

American Idol - The Final 7 - Bye Bye Cowboy!

Bucky is OUT! Yes! Yes! Yes! :) Bye-bye Cowboy! :)

(Sorry, Pixie - but this is a moment to celebrate) ;)

OK, to be fair - he was only the 2nd worst performer from last night - with Ace definitely being the worst, due to awful song choice. However, on an overall basis, Bucky is the person with the most limited ability to vary his performance and style, of the final 8.

However, the surprise is that Elliot Yamin found himself in the bottom 3 again this week, despite what I would rate as one of the top 4 performances, for last night. In fact, his performance is definitely better than Paris Bennett's last night (somehow, it didn't sound like a song, despite her powerhouse vocals) - and that doesn't happen very often.

But I think Elliot is finding himself in the "bland" corner - something that one of the earlier top 12 contestants, Ayla Brown, (who also had superior vocals, than some other contestants, suffered from as well.

Down to the final 7 - depending on the genre of songs and the suitability of songs picked - I would say that with the exception of Chris, Katherine and Kellie - everyone else is pretty good and equal to each other now - not necessarily in vocals, but in all-round talent to be an American Idol.

Next week, they're singing Rod Stewart songs, which has a wide range and repertoire - everyone would have an equal chance to shine. With the right song choice, I think even Ace, would outshine some of the better vocalists in the group. Bet on it.

Whoever gets kicked out next week - is going to be really heartbreaking. It's touch and go from here.

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You see, to be an American Idol - you've got to have a strong personality that your voters identify with, to go with that voice and the brains (the ability to know what songs show you off the best). It's not just a singing competition - it's a branding competition, too. (That's what I realized after Mandisa got kicked out last week)

That would explain why Taylor Hicks (Mr. Down-to-Earth American values and energetic performer) and Ace Young (The Heart-throb) have survived longer than they should and why Mandisa (The Vocalist Supremo) and Lisa Tucker (Innocent Little Powerhouse) was shortlived. It's not just about the best raw talent - it's about the person who polishes their all-rounded abilities best, to be a star.

Sometimes, your looks may give you a slight advantage in creating that "branding" (like it does in any line of work) to go with the talent - like it does with Katherine "McPheever" McPhee and Chris Daughtry - but it will not hold you up forever. After the first minute, you better be able to show that you can sing, entertain and that there's a real person, beneath that amazing performer.

That's what attracts the votes. Politicians from all around the world, could learn from American Idol. Heh! ;)

Who'd have thought one could learn so many things from American Idol, huh? ;) And some of you guys thought it was just senseless entertainment?

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On a purely unrelated note, (and on a totally non-macho front, I know) - I cried watching Katherine McPhee's home videos, as a child. She was adorable and a beautiful baby. Apparently, her passion for singing, started when she was just 2 years old. No wonder.

And it was really touching to see the loving pride in her father's eyes. I agree with Ryan Seacrest - how does the man get through watching Bambi?? (Okay, so I cried at Bambi too - but I was younger back then,....)

Then it occurred to me - one day, I could teach my children how to sing and appreciate music! Now, THAT'S something to look forward to - family karaoke sessions! :) Or even family live band performances! :)

It's nice to know that there are still a few things that I won't be too old for, once I have children. Maybe Sinatra songs will sound better on me, once I actually gray like ol' Blue Eyes Frankie. :)

American Idol - No Mercury Rising

This week, I'm not going to do my usual review of American Idol.

Have been busy with work and am going through another phase, where I can't seem to read or write on anything that's not work-related, because it feels too damn hard.

I don't want to explain. You've heard it all before, ad nauseam.


This week, all the contestants in American Idol sang the songs by the legendary group, Queen. It's telling how great Freddy Mercury is, when none of the contestants could do a spectacular job, at performing their songs.

This week, I'm just going to only state my selection for the best and worst performance for this week.

My vote for the best performance for this week goes to Taylor Hicks, who sang "Crazy Little Thing Called Love". It was a great song choice for him, it was energetic, it sounded most like Queen and most of all, it's the most confident and entertaining performance, last night.

(Just FYI, I thought the second best performance last night was by Katherine "McPheever" McPhee - singing a sweet and modified version of "Who Wants To Live Forever". She made the song her own, she radiated "stage presence" and it sounded fresh, except for moments of patchy vocals, here and there)

The worst performance this week is by Ace Young, who made the unfortunate choice of singing "We Will Rock You" and being totally ill-equipped to sing the song. The one way to show off a limited vocal range, is to choose a song which you're totally out of depth for.

But if he's lucky, then Bucky or Paris will be kicked out. Now, you know my guess for the bottom 3.

Let's see whether the results will surprise us again, this week. I hope not.

American Idol: Final 8 - The Heartbreak Begins

I'm devastated. I was almost totally off tonight. But I did say a few weeks ago, that the heartbreak would begin soon, on the elimination. And how right I was, on that count. :(

The best vocalist in the competition, Mandisa, was in the bottom 3 has been kicked out. And Elliot Yamin was in the bottom 3! What the hell??? My only prediction that came true was on Paris Bennett for bottom 3.

Looks like Ace Young and Taylor Hicks has a stronger support base than I thought. Although Taylor was definitely the worst performer last night (with the poorest song choice for his voice) and deserved to be sent home.

Even poor song selection cannot justify the voting pattern. Seems that merit has been sacrificed at the altar of popularity.

At this rate, I won't be surprised if Kelly Pickler wins this year. And then American Idol, would be just as bad as Akademi Fantasia last year.

Then they'll just prove that every country has their own version of "Mawi", be it male or female. It will become another mindless popularity contest - not a singing contest, that is searching for an American Idol.

Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I'm praying hard that Chris and Katherine will survive till the top 2.

The Scientific Explanation for Irrationality

Whenever I have to draft a legal document, I run into a mental block. This was the reason I never became a practising lawyer. I hate drafting documents which have no numbers on them.

So, I'm going to blog a while, to clear my mind. And by the time I'm done with this entry, my mental block should be cleared and the words for the legal documentation should flow down to paper, as easily as writing this blog.

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Here's something from Dr. Harville Hendrix, a relationship therapist, giving a scientific explanation for the phenomenon of "Opposites Attract" (a.k.a. to some of us, as why girls fall for sons-out-of-wedlock and why guys fall for female dogs) ;):

"When we fall in love we feel whole again, for in our beloved, for in our beloved we annex the qualities dormant and missing in ourselves.

But it's not luck - there is method to this madness. Just as partners are attracted to each other on the basis of their symmetrical wounding on the developmental scale, they are also attracted on the basis of their complementary adaptations to the socialization process".


Does that sound Greek to you?

Okay, here's a translation (also by Dr. Hendrix):

"Nature is up to her old tricks again, easing us into a relationship that has the potential to heal our wounds. With sly wisdom, it pairs you with an incompatible partner to create the chemistry for growth."

Interesting. (Now, I have a scientific excuse for my rather tragic preferences in women. ;))

And Dr. Hendrix continues:

"Chances are that the people you are drawn to and admire possess qualities that you long for or that were dismissed or disdained in your home. If you get close to such people, you feel good about yourself, more complete, through the association.

You never cry at the movies, perhaps, but you love to go with your friend who sobs through the sentimental scenes. You may love to laugh and dance, but find yourself drawn to dating partners with logical, buttoned-down minds".


Actually, this would explain a lot of friendships, too (like why an outstanding moral citizen like ZR, hangs around with me, perhaps ;))

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If I had to name 3 things that were "dismissed and disdained" in my home during my growing-up years, it would be the following:

a) Open displays of affection and emotional tenderness, verbally or physically;

b) People who did not conform or perform to society's norms and expectations in an academic, status, marital, financial or material sense (publicly or privately). Or people who value contribution above self; and

c) Strong Malay women who have an opinion on issues and sometimes, are willing to speak their minds in public.


Based on that brief analysis - it would explain a lot, about the women I tend to fall for. They break the mould - they're cultural non-conformists, publicly or privately, both good or bad. And almost always, they've had a difficult and tenuous relationship with at least, one parent.

I have a thing for women that don't walk the line. The nutjobs, as Dina would say it. At least, now I have a scientific justification for it. ;)

Yeah, right!

(Note to self: Forget reading Freud or other psychologists. Get into a psychiatrist's chair and get treatment. Brainwash self into admiring good, dependable conformists)

Grey's Anatomy

I caught the first episode of Grey's Anatomy tonight. And I've fallen hard for Ellen Pompeo who plays the cute surgical intern, Dr. Meredith Grey.

Judging from the first episode, the series looks promising. The cast is strong with Sandra Oh as a driven and ambitious fellow intern, Patrick Dempsey as Grey's romantic interest (not to mention her superior) and Katherine Heigl as an intern that was a former model.

The characters are pretty human and pleasantly flawed, the script is crisp and realistic (without being overtly soppy as American series can be) and the camera angles and scene shots, are pretty fresh and sticks in your mind.

Looking at the cute Dr. Meredith Grey made me think to myself - how come I've never dated a cute doctor before? Heh!

Time to get sick!! ;)

American Idol: Walking Down The Country Road

Tonight, the theme was country music for American Idol. And no one really sparkled, performance-wise.

It's late, so I'm going to keep this week's review short and sweet. My personal ranking, in order of quality of performance for this week, is as follows:-


1) Kellie Pickler - Singing the song "Fancy", Kellie hit all the right notes and was clearly the best and most comfortable of all the performers tonight. Wearing a red hot sexy top and radiating confidence in singing her genre, she will breeze through this week;


2) Chris Daughtry - Chris surprised everyone again this week. Shedding his rock image and singing the song "Love You Like Nobody Loves You", he showed everyone that he can sound just as good, with a presence almost just as strong, singing country songs. A job well done for Chris tonight - and he proves again, why he's one of the top contenders for American Idol;


3) Elliot Yamin - singing "If Tomorrow Never Comes", Elliot came across as being a little diffident tonight - but it was a great song selection and it suited his sweet vocals. It wasn't great, but it was definitely good. On a good day, this man can surprise you;


4) Katherine McPhee - If I'm not wrong, the title of the song was something like "You Bring Out The Everest in Me" and taking a blues slant on a country song, Katherine made the song her own - though it's certainly not the best song choice for her. Personally, I felt that she'd have done better singing one of Faith Hill's songs. Strong performance, a hint of stage presence but generally, she kept in the "safe area" after last week's bottom 3 scare;

(On a totally unrelated note, I'm beginning to suspect that the more decently Katherine McPhee is dressed - the fewer votes she gets. She started doing badly, when she stopped wearing skimpy clothes and impliedly vamping on stage)


5) Bucky - looked very comfortable with the theme of the night, but he mumbled at some parts of his song. But he was in his element and he still sounded good, which doesn't say very much. I pray that he gets kicked out in the next round;


6) Mandisa - Despite the ability escape through any song with her amazing vocals, Mandisa has not been very impressive lately, through her poor song choices. I can't remember the song name - but I came away feeling that she under-performed her potential tonight. But she's got to start choosing better songs soon;


7) Ace Young - This boy is the opposite of almost everyone else in this competition. Despite having limited vocal power, he knows what songs suit his voice best and that's how he's been beating more talented people than him. I can't remember the song but it was a melodic (albeit safe) rendition, that ended with a pleasant falsetto. Verdict: Bottom 3 again, but will probably survive this week unless he's unlucky;


8) Paris Bennett - The most nervous performer tonight, Paris buckled under pressure and gave her worst performance ever in the competition - which was still good. She struggled with Leanna Rimes' "How Do I Live Without You" and sounded off-key on some parts and at best, okay on other parts. Bottom 3 material but I'm hoping that her fans will stick with her and push her through this week; and


9) Taylor Hicks - Worst performance ever by Taylor. Poor song choice and an uninspired rendition. Definitely the worst, for this week and certainly, bottom 3 material. I hope he gets kicked out this week because if he doesn't, it's probably going to cost Ace Young (or worse, Paris Bennett) a place in the competition.


Can't wait for the results tomorrow. Overall, I hope the song selection and performance gets better next week. This "playing it safe" business is making the competition pretty boring - unless someone unexpected gets kicked out this week.

The Language of Change

I came across this post in Malaysia Today by Hishamuddin Rais (dated 1st April) which really got me thinking.

Hisham was arguing that one of the main reasons why intellectuals and NGOs in Malaysia have failed to effect constructive change or political reform in Malaysia, is due to the fact that they don't communicate in Malay.

There's nothing novel or particularly surprising about this assertion. Even with my own NGO, I've been trying to get us to have a regular column in the local Malay dailies, so that we could effect a stronger change and raise the awareness within the Bumiputera community.

But so far, we've had relatively little success. It seems that Malay newspapers are more interested in politics, polemics, religion and entertainment rather than economics, business or technology issues.

I remember that even when they agree to do a coverage on technology-related issues, the journalists always manage to dilute the content to such a superficial extent, that it becomes a meaningless piece. To them, it's about catering to the audience. It's telling, when no such dilution is usually necessary, when it comes to regular column writers for the English-based dailies and weeklies.

Sometimes, I get the impression that there is an even an audience and class divide between Malay and English newspapers - and the type of people who read them. That it goes beyond language and takes into account the social and political perspectives behind the users of the language.

Malay newspapers in this country, if I may be so bold to assert, feel and sound very Malay. English newspapers in this country, at the other extreme, tends to sound very un-Malay. Just read the content and the slant and you'll understand what I mean.

The newspapers in Malaysia are not just a language-based national medium of communication. They are bastions of mono-racial and mon-religious perspectives and interests (and this includes the Chinese and Indian newspapers)and sometimes, multi-racial interest ideology. They hold on to a certain bias/agenda and they make no apologies for it.

I've always believed that one of the main things that have always held the Bumiputera community back is the quality of the things that they read.

And one of the reasons why UMNO has exercised such great control over the Malay community is for 2 reasons - first, the Malay dailies (like Utusan Malaysia and Berita Harian) are the most widely read reading material by the Malay community (and to many, their only habitual reading material).

Secondly, the Malay dailies are owned by the Government (and most times, controlled by the ruling party)and it has always been used as a tool for Government propaganda - more than it is used as a channel for educating the public.

This is of course true with the English dailies as well, to a certain extent - but the Malay dailies carry this to an extreme, sometimes. UMNO and even Opposition politicians have always used the Malay newspapers as a way of "grandstanding" their stand for the Malays, even to the point of being caustically racial in their remarks.

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But coming back to Hisham's point - he wasn't arguing from the typical perspective of Malay being the national language and therefore we should communicate in this medium.

His basis was far more common-sensed - that most of the 60% Bumiputera population in this country speak Malay regularly, as their main medium of communication and logically, if persuasion was to be made to the majority on any issue - it should be in Malay. Hisham argued that Malay is a "strategic language" in effecting change.

I agree with him. Change of any kind in Malaysia (be it political, cultural, social, religious or economic) would be impossible, without persuading the majority to go along with it. And regardless of whatever endeavour or industry that you're in and would like to see Malaysia move toward, you will only be effective if you also do your persuasion in Malay.

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But why do we hold back? Why do most intellectuals and non-race based NGOs in this country still not convey their persuasion in Malay or through Malay medium of communications?

There could be a variety of reasons.

One is class - somehow, there is a skewed belief in this country that if you're able to speak English fluently, then you must be either from the middle or upper class. Coming from a colonized heritage, the mental link between language and superiority still persists in the minds of some.

One is a multi-racial existence - it is an undeniable fact that most urban middle and upper class Malaysians unite because of their common medium of communication, which is English. It's a neutral ground - no one feels that they're compromising their own language or cultural agenda - when you're speaking in a language that is not native, to any of the races involved.

Another is education - being educated in a school, university or college where English is the primary medium, encourages one to communicate in that medium more frequently. And you will find that most of these people, think in English - even if they can communicate in Malay, fluently (this tends to happen to overseas graduates)

Another is work. The corporate and business world is heavily biased towards the English language. This is not only true of Malaysia but in most parts of the world, too (other than countries like Japan, Thailand, etc.) English is the business lingua franca of the world. (Go no further for evidence, than the reluctance of local employers to hire graduates with poor English competency)

Another is media and publications. The onslaught of Western English-based media and publications into our lives is irreversible and pervasive. Almost all of our TV programs, almost all of the movies in our cinemas, Bloomberg, the majority of books and magazines available in the country, majority of signs in a shopping mall, majority of instructions in hotels in the country, English Premier League, Formula One, almost all songs by Western entertainment icons - they're all in English.

Even when our Malaysian singers sing, they've copied the styling of their English language based counterparts - look at Too Phat - local group, localized context of music but the rap styling of the rappers who rap in English.

And another reason is the fear of their identity being questioned, by virtue of the issues which they raise. When a Malay chap writes in New Straits Times, none of the NST readers will judge him as being less of a Malay, by perhaps, his non-mainstream stand on issues.

But when he takes a non-mainstream stand in the Utusan Malaysia or Berita Harian, he takes the risk of being publicly censured by his own kind, for that stand.

Sometimes, the reluctance has less to do with language than it does about the sensitivity of the issues and the concern over the reaction of the political masters of the Malay newspapers. If you've noticed, all Malay politicians try to sound more racially-biased in the Malay newspapers and more moderate in the English newspapers.

This is probably due to the fact that the readers are divided by language preference, too. I was more informed by a senior personnel in NST once, that only one-third of the readers of NST are Malay. And I'm willing to bet that almost all the readers of Utusan Malaysia or Berita Harian are Malay (and more so, the Chinese and Indian newspapers are not read at all by the other races).

Our children of various races don't go to the same schools anymore - 94% of primary school enrolment in national schools are purely Malay and Bumiputera. We don't really communicate in the same language publicly, on the issues that matter.

Our newspapers are divided by race, language, audience and political allegiance. Our TV watching preferences are divided by language too - unleashing different types of content and exposure to different communities - inevitably, resulting them going at a different pace (as the variety of local programs, especially on knowledge issues, are not as wide as English-based foreign programs - although some of the knowledge-based programs by TV3, are excellent)

Another is religion, the way it is practised in Malaysia. With the exception of one mosque run by ISTAC, all Friday sermons (khutbah) are in Malay. And the other is civil service and dealings with the Government - the only language is Malay.

But if we want Malays to grow or be persuaded by whatever medium of persuasion - then it is necessary for their sources of influence - the Malay media, authorities and political masters be it old or new media - to take a more neutral stand and allow for the process of learning to happen, by virtue of intelligent debate and discussion, to seek the truth on issues.

Especially for the majority of the Malay community that hardly reads (other than for the purpose of rote learning and passing exams), the importance of keeping the Malay media unbiased and apolitical, is essential in raising their awareness on issues.

Keeping the people in the dark and playing to the race gallery may be an easy way of running the populace, but it betrays and demeans them in the long run, as we rob them of the ability to think critically and constructively and to quickly adapt to the challenging demands of a globalized world.

For Malay language - the language of change in Malaysia, to be effective - the medium of such language should be allowed to operate without political, racial or editorial fetters on the variety of opinion expressed and without shooting down, the non-mainstream view or diluting down complex issues, to over-simplistic bare bones.

Some "sacred cows" paradigms will have to be open for challenge, to allow the questioning of some fundamental assumptions amongst the Malay community. Then you will see society's agents of change coming forward, to put forth their persuasion.

After all, no one likes to debate in a forum where the moderator and fellow debaters do not want to find the truth on issues, but only wants to be seen winning the debate or demogogues quickly coming to predictable conclusions. Nothing can be learnt in such an environment.

Humility, constant questioning and probing and the ability to admit that we're wrong are pre-requisites in our efforts to grow, in intelligence, maturity and wisdom. That's what we need from the Malay media, both old and new.