Mimpi Pari

"The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter"

Name:
Location: Malaysia

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Uncommon Sense

This is from Carly Fiorina, former Chairman and CEO of Hewlett-Packard and one of the top women corporate achievers in the world:

"Love what you do, or don't do it.

Don't make a choice of any kind, whether in career or in life, just because it pleases othersor because it ranks high on someone else's scale of achievement or even because it seems to be, perhaps even for you at the time, simply the logical thing to do at that moment on your path.

Make the choice to do something, because it engages your heart, as well as your mind. Make the choice, because it engages all of you."


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And from Larry Page, co-founder of the hugely successful search engine, Google:

"I think part of the reason we're successful so far is that originally, we didn't want to start a business.

We were doing research at Stanford University. Google sort of came out of that. And we didn't even intend to build a search engine, originally. We were just interested in the Web and interested in data mining.

And then we ended up with a search technology that we realized was really good. And we built the search engine. Then we told our friends about it and our professors. Pretty soon, about 10,000 people a day, were using it."

American Idol: The Final 9 and A Shocker

The results are out for the final 9. As I predicted, Lisa Tucker is out. Although tonight, her rendition of "Because of You" was far better - perhaps, it's because her jitters are gone.

So, I was right on Lisa Tucker. And I was right on 2 of the bottom 3, too - the other correct prediction being Ace Young.

But there was a shocker in store, which I was not prepared for. Bucky was not in bottom 3. But my favourite candidate and one of the most talented people this season, Katherine McPhee, was in the bottom 3!

Gasp! Gasp! Gasp! I was reeling in shock!

I should learn to expect this by now - SMS voting sometimes produces the strangest of results, which allows the popular, (and sometimes, the weakest candidadates out of votes of pity) to defeat the talented. It happens often enough with our own Akademi Fantasia - Mawi being a prime product of such a phenomenon.

But Katherine McPhee in the bottom 3??? It's unthinkable!!

But I think it served as a wake-up call to the rest, too. If Katherine could be in the bottom 3, after last night's performance - anyone can. I think it would have the rest of the survivors, pretty shaken. The good part is, it'll make all of them, try harder in the coming weeks.

The logical and predictable parts of the competition are over. I don't think we can guess who would be in the bottom 3 next week, or who would get excluded next, even.

The stage is set for future heartbreaks and mistaken selections, in American Idol.

I can't wait for next week's show. :)


p.s. Pixie - you got your wish. Bucky survived. But I hope Americans will go on merit, next week. ;) The country boy has got to go!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Keeping Flexible?

There are a few events in the past 2 weeks or so, that has left me wondering whether honest men with integrity, who are just and fair to others, are a much smaller minority than I thought they were.

In the political world, Malaysian politicians make it a point to pull the wool over the public's eyes, with all sorts of gimmicks, stunts and flawed explanations. In the business world, it is the same - majority shareholders sometimes do many things to damage their own company and compromise their minority shareholders.

And there seems to be more space for businessmen to commit these breach of fiduciary duties to the company and minority shareholders, simply because they think they're not elected. They're there by virtue of their majority ownership.

I've seen so many businessman and entrepreneurs like these around me. People who care for nothing else and no one else, as long as their wallets are bulging from monies, which they did not honestly earn.

It made me ponder over something that Alice Foot MacDougall, a successful woman entrepreneur, said:

"A large portion of success is derived from flexibility. It is all very well to have principles, rules of behaviour concerning right and wrong. But it is as essential when to forget, as when to use them"


I'm trying to persuade myself that she's right.

As long as I can keep my own company free from such dishonest acts, I shouldn't have to worry about seeing the owners of the companies that I deal with, siphon off funds and screw their own minority shareholders.

It's not my business. Not everything is within my control. And not everything should be.

I mean, if I had to avoid everyone that had a financially dishonest bone in their body - I may have no one to do business with. And I'm not kidding. A lot of capable and wealthy people, are simply financially dishonest.

Now, THAT'S a depressing thought, isn't it?

Get this lesson into my head, Alice. I don't want to be 80, by the time I'm 50.

American Idol: A Disappointing Night

Considering that the theme was 21st century songs tonight, the final 10 should have sparkled.

But I dare say, that this is the worst American Idol episode yet, after the final 12 was chosen. It was all round disappointing and almost everyone the gang underperformed their abilities, tonight - mainly due to poor song selection.


My review of tonight's show (and my own personal rankings based on performance, as usual) are as follows:-

1) Katherine McPhee - Singing Christina Aguilera's "The Voice Within", (which is not entirely her best song choice - it's a tough song) Katherine sounded close to great, but it's certainly, not one of her more memorable performances. Nevertheless, her strong vocals and melodic rendition still ensured that she was the best of the night. And as usual, she looks great!

McPheever lives on!


2) Chris Daughtry - He sang Creed's "What If" tonight and even though Chris still has a rock concert "presence" that outshines most of the other participants, but as Simon pointed out - it was getting kind of stale.

The song was definitely in his genre and he seemed comfortable with it - but there was none of the savvy improvisation, that he's usually known for. His singing was mainstream. Nevertheless, still a class above most others.


3) Paris Bennett - Another one that chose a difficult song - Beyonce's "Work It Out". But as always, Paris is an all-round performer (she danced and wiggled her butt like the sexy-assed Beyonce) and although her vocals are a bit patchy in parts but she ended the song on a strong note, made it her own and showed her unique vocal prowess to good effect.

I'll say this again, about her - someone give this girl a recording contract!


4) Elliot Yamin - What a voice. Singing Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Wanna Be", Elliot again shows that he can make any song sound fresh with his voice. There are a lot of singers that would have failed at rending this song, but not Elliot.

The song arrangement was a bit awkward and there were parts which looked like he was out of breath - but nevertheless, one of best performances of the night.


5) Mandisa - Usually one of the top 3 performers every week, Mandisa decided to go with something more fun and less challenging this week. Choosing "Wanna Praise You" was not a very good choice and even her great vocals seemed to fit awkardly with the song. (Simon called the song "indulgent" - I so agree!)

It was an average performance for her (which is rare) - but which still means that it's still above average, for the top 10.


6) Taylor Hicks - Truth be told, Taylor was not bad at all, tonight. His dressing was sharp and the song "Trouble" greatly suited his voice and style. Above average performance, and as usual, Taylor is always entertaining. Should still sail through this week.


7) Kellie Pickler - Kellie is not a great singer, but she knows where her strengths lie. She sticks to her comfortable country songs and like our very own Noraniza Idris (who specializes in lagu asli), she shows great flair when it comes to her own niche in country music. I thought her rendition of "Suds in the Bucket" was good and effortless.

But like Chris, (though nowhere near as spellbinding) she's showing a great reluctance of coming out of her comfort zone. It's self-defeating and would greatly limit her opportunities, of advancing further in this competition.


8) Ace Young - This man has a stage presence and boyish good looks that would make teenage girls go ga-ga. And that is his main strength. His voice is only slightly above average - he's good but he'll never be great.

Truth be told, I kinda liked his rendition of "Stars on Jupiter" although I do think that it exceeded his vocal abilities. But it wasn't a bad try at all. With better choice on songs and some innovative improvisations (like the falsetto he used in singing a Michael Jackson song once) - he should outlast some of the better singers above him - because he's versatile.


9) Bucky - I SO want him to be kicked out of the competition. But just like Kellie, (although nowhere near as good as a country singer) he knows where his strengths are. Singing a country song called "Bad Boy" tonight - he slurred a little but looked completely at home, singing country songs.

Unfortunately, not the worst performer of the night. But hell, I hope he gets kicked out next week!


10) Lisa Tucker - This girl has been breaking my heart for weeks now with her song choices and underperformance and this week is no different. There were just too many mistakes.

Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" IS too big for her voice, like Simon pointed out and one cannot help the comparison, reflecting badly on her. The singing was patchy and stretched and her display of emotion, painful. Why she could not have picked a J-Lo ballad or from the Pussycat Dolls (since none of them can really sing) and improve on it, I will never know.

And the reviews from all 3 judges were bad. Lisa had it coming for weeks now and I think she will pay the price this week. It's sad, really - because the girl's voice is certainly top 5, if not top 3 material.

But unlike some of the other worse singers in the group, she does not know what her strengths are. And in a competition like American Idol - that would be fatal.


Pixie - again, whatever you do, don't tell me tomorrow's results, early - although I think the person to be kicked out is pretty obvious,....

I hope next week's American Idol is better! This episode was certainly not worth staying in, for.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

American Idol: Verdict and The Final 10

Kevin Covais is out! And I find myself surprised and left with mixed feelings.

Yes, I expected him to be in the bottom 3, but performance-wise, he's certainly not worse than Bucky or Taylor Hicks last night.

But the people have decided and Kevin is OUT! (On another note, Taylor Hicks was not in bottom 3, as I predicted. I suspect he's getting the senior citizen votes in the US! ;))

It's kinda poetic justice, but one week late. Kevin was the worst performer for last week, I felt. But Melissa McGhee paid the price, instead.

And this week, America got it wrong again and he paid the price and Bucky barely escaped elimination. One wonders whether he'll escape again next week, as at least 7 out of the 10 left, are way beyond his league.

Just as I predicted could happen, Lisa Tucker's bad song choice got her in the bottom 3 again. I hope this serves as a wake-up call, to this young one. Barry Manilow called her "a powerhouse at 16" and it's time she starts choosing songs that will do her justice. Otherwise, the next time she finds herself in the bottom 3, might be her exclusion from the competition.

Down to the top 10, now. America has still not made any major mistakes - all those excluded have relatively deserved to be in the bottom 3, performance-wise or from bad song choices.

Within the next 2-3 weeks, the major heartbreaks will begin, as the bigger and better talents get kicked out from the show. The competition will be intense and it'll be interesting to see, who holds up well under pressure.

My vote's still on the "McPheever" girl! :) Go Katherine!


p.s. Pixie: Next week you better not tell or hint me the results, ah?! ;) Otherwise, you will feel the wrath of Mumm-Ra, the Ever-liviiiiiing,....

(Humour me - I used to be crazy about Thundercats, as a kid,...)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

American Idol - Back to the 50's!

So, we're down to the final 11, after Melissa McGhee was kicked out last week (she was my 2nd choice prediction to be kicked out, after Kevin Covais)

And this week, the final 11 definitely benefited from the coaching given by the legendary Barry Manilow, who taught them "how to tell the story in their songs". That's a Manilow forte - I know because I sing his songs in karaoke. Rather well, if I may say so myself. ;) (Okay, okay - so I'm an oldie,...)

My predictions (and rankings) after seeing the performance of the final 11, are as follows:-

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1) Mandisa - she sang Dinah Washington's "It Don't Hurt Anymore" with the sort of vocal prowess that would make the original, pale in comparison. Best vocals and best performance for the night - without doubt.

2) Katherine "McPheever" McPhee - she belted out "Come Rain or Come Shine" flawlessly, with the confidence, maturity and control of someone well beyond her years. On top of that, she looked great tonight and she made it look effortless, with smiles and all. Definitely, top 3 material, still.

3) Chris "The Rock Improviser" Daughtry - the thing about Chris is that he can improvise on any song and give a rock or alternative slant. His rendition of an improvised version of Johny Cash's "I Walk The Line" was just amazing. He's not as versatile in changing music styles like Mandisa and Katherine, but he stays true to his rock/alternative style - which he is strongest at.

4) Paris Bennett - She is, to my opinion, the hardest working girl in American Idol. Singing "Fever" - she gave an amazing and energetic performance and showed off her vocal prowess and mature performance style. She even dressed the part and looked like she came from the glamorous 50's. Regardless of whether she wins or not, someone please give her a recording contract!

5) Elliot "Sweet Tone" Yamin - This man has one of the best voice tone in the competition. It's sweet, it has a wide range and it makes him a very versatile singer. Singing "Teach Me Tonight" which is a rather complex song to sing, he just wowed the audience, with his voice and soulful singing voice.

6) Kellie Pickler - I do think that this country girl is a bit of a bimbo (she could not tell difference between minx and mink) but make no mistake - when she is singing that is country music related, she's virtually unbeatable. Tonight she sang Patsy Kline's "Walkin' After Midnight". Not a great performance, but certainly a strong and powerful one, compared to previous week's performance.

7) Lisa Tucker - Again, my biggest disappointment of the week. The problem with Lisa is that she keeps picking songs, which are too easy for her powerful vocals. "Why Do Fools Fall In Love" is a good song, but it doesn't show off her range and what she's capable of. Last week, she was in the bottom 3 because of her choice of song. This week, she could be there again, if she's unlucky. I want to see her buck up, because this girl is certainly top 3 material.

8) Ace Young - Ace surprised me again this week. Even with his pretty limited vocals, he did an improvisation of "In The Still of The Night" and suited it to his voice. The gamble absolutely worked! The song was given a fresh lease of life, his rendition was sweet and his main strength, the falsetto, gave the song a beautiful end. Hope to see more surprises from him.

9) Kevin Covais - This is probably the first week that I'm not rooting for him to be kicked out. And to give due credit, Kevin performed well tonight - with a boyish rendition of Nat King Cole's "When I Fall In Love". It was good and he gave it a unique slant. And for that, he deserves to survive till next week. But he may still be in the bottom 3.

10) Taylor Hicks - singing "I'll Fade Away", Taylor injected his usual energetic soul into the song, but I felt that it was a bad song choice. Limited range, repetitive lyrics - there was just not much scope for him to show what he's got. He sounded average. Bottom 3 material for this week, I feel.

11) Bucky - by far, the country boy's worst performance tonight with his "Oh Boy" rendition. And oh boy, it was just pure bad. I agree with Simon - it was like watching karaoke. A bad one. I think he deserves to be kicked out this week.

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Let's see whether my predictions are correct. To me, the top 3 are in a class of their own, but the rest of them, will still be great entertainment in the next few months. And America may always surprise you. :)

Simon predicted the top 3 in the competition, during an interview. I suspect that it will be Mandisa, Katherine and Chris. Not necessarily in that order.

(And Pixie, if you happen to find out, like you usually do - don't tell me before Thursday night's show, okay? Save a little suspense for me - keeps my Thursday nights interesting. ;))

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Dalam Library - hasil nukilan A. Samad Said

Dalam library
aku tersengguk.
Seorang tua
tersenyum menegur:

Tak guna membuka buku
menutup mata
Kan elok menutup buku
membuka mata?

Mulai esoknya
dalam library
ku tak pernah
tersengguk lagi
walau orang tua
sudah lama
tiada kusua

Dalam library
kini kumembaca,
mataku sering
ke kerusi orang tua
yang sudah tiada.

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Knowledge means nothing, if you prefer to shut your eyes, mind and heart, from necessary insight and action.

"Kan elok menutup buku membuka mata?"

Men Improve with the Years - By Yeats

I am worn out with dreams;
A weather-worn marble triton
Among the streams;

And all day long I look
Upon this lady's beauty
As though I had found in a book
A pictured beauty,
Pleased to have filled the eyes
Or the discerning ears,
Delighted to be but wise,
For men improve with the years;

And yet, and yet,
Is this my dream or the truth?
O would that we had met
When I had my burning youth!

But I grow old among dreams,
A weather-worn marble triton
Among the streams.

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This one is for little Aishah's poem collection, with much love from Uncle Stingray. I hope her mummy will copy this down, for her,...

Ideal Weight

This is going to be the shortest entry ever.

I'm at my ideal weight of 75kg now. This is the heaviest I've ever been and I finally don't look skinny, for my 1.78 metres frame. Looks like my unrelenting attempt to gain weight in the last few months, has succeeded. :)

Yeayyyy!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Pondering Malaysia

A few nights ago, I took time out to have teh tarik with Prabajee (not his real name, but close enough)

Prabajee is a much bigger optimist than I, about Malaysia.

He's a Sentul boy and a former top national level debater and speaks fluent Malay and Tamil. He majored in philosophy and previously been been a lecturer in our local university system (and has continuously lamented its downward slide) and now, he's a businessman. Occasionally, he dabbles in opposition politics, although he claims to be neutral and not anti-Government.

He considers himself a Malaysian first and hates it when I call him an Indian. And of course, I do it just to annoy him. :) And if I want to go the extra mile, I tell him to join the MIC, to make political change. It usually riles him up sufficiently, to keep me amused.

He's a unique character and definitely interesting. Intensely intelligent when he's sober and still more eloquent than most, when he's drunk. And sometimes, shockingly vulgar but all round fun, packaged in a human being, that seems to balance many extremes.

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Prabajee and I have a unique friendship, as it usually revolves around him, trying to convince me not to migrate to New Zealand, in 5-10 years time.

Prabajee believes in this country and its ability to change, for the better. He's darn well decided that this is home and this is where he'll make his stand, to realize the Malaysia that he's always dreamt of. A race-blind, economically competitive and politically mature, Malaysia. Where citizens know and fight for their rights and are not easily hoodwinked or voluntairily steamrolled, by the people they elect.

Maybe he won't be able to see the fruits of his labour in this lifetime, but he believes in doing his part. And he does - although I know he plans to do more, one day.

And he's trying to get me to do more. And admittedly, there are times when I am ashamed of myself - that I do not share his optimism on Malaysia nor his fighting spirit. I should, shouldn't I?

Every country that has enjoyed strong civil liberties, strong economic progress and the accountability of its Government, has had that foundation built on the sacrifices of a few men who dared stand up to authority, risking life and limb. They have fought for the cause and their people, they have fought against tyrants, they have given much of their life to it and sometimes, they have died for it.

But they did it. Because it was the right thing to do. Because nothing good was ever built without the willingness of individual sacrifice, for the greater good. And leaders are the sort of people who would step forward, when others hesitate to do so. To inspire, to lead, to think and create a new vision which others will follow.

"So, why are you running off to sheep country?", Prabajee would always ask me.

My answer has always made sense to me, but has never made sense to him. It's a provocative perspective, but I think it applies.

It's because Malaysia is not a country - not in the true sense of the word. There are no Malaysian citizens in this country - there are only citizens of different races. What we have is a geographical demarcation wtih a multi-racial coalition of people who happen to live and co-exist together, sometimes stuck together, due to historical circumstances.

Malaysia is a workplace for a multi-racial populace, not a country.

As long as the Government ensures that there is strong economic growth and the economic and income pie is shared by all, no one minds what the Government or our politicians do, at the expense of the voters. As long as there is political stability, it doesn't matter if the Government coffers are being mismanaged and that real people on the ground are being mistreated.

And if there is one common Malaysian trait - this is it. We are willing to be robbed of our collective rights as citizens, (by anyone with power) as long as our individual rice bowls, are full. Every other measurement of right and wrong in leadership, accountability and governance, is negotiable. The political stability we enjoy, is based on this rice bowl mentality, above all else.

Jim Collins, the author of the book "Good To Great" once said that the enemy of the best, is not the mediocre, but the good. And Malaysia is precisely that - given its difficult historical circumstances - it's amazing that it's still standing.

Malaysia is a good country, given its previous circumstances - but it will slide into mediocrity, because we have not even started building a nation, from its people. And we can't stop mediocrity if everyone thinks that the status quo is as good as Malaysia gets.

Yes, it's a peaceful country. No, we're not starving and we're not run by an unelected dictator. (Though some may argue that we've elected dictators in the past and currently, there are many unelected "shadows" behind Pak Lah, making decisions on behalf of him). And yes, the economy is not as bad as many other countries.

Yes, there is much to be thankful for. But this cannot be the basis for us to stop improving who and what we are as a nation. As a people - as Malaysians.

Almost 50 years on after Merdeka, we still operate like different races, co-existing in the same country. With hardly any non-economic related common beliefs and values. (When greed unites people, it usually unites them in a way that's corrosive to others in society).

With little knowledge of our friends in the the other race and a purely shallow and superficial idea of what racial integration means. Racial politics are still being fanned, even within the parties of the governing multi-racial coalition.

And we are being led by a generation that is still living in yesterday's realities and is unprepared to start building on what Malaysia has to be, to be viable in this intensely competitive and globalized world.

They don't see the impact of the outside world, on their country and their people. They think that the current Malaysian formula, is meant to last forever. Nothing could be further from the truth.

And then I see the promising ones in my generation selling out to the system - some of them, are so powerful now - they're literally creating chaos in the business world today, when they wield their political blade. People who once started out with good intentions, are now more corrupt, than the people they intended to replace. And sometimes, this is done at the expense of the good and able ones in my generation.

While other countries are halfway through the economic and higher value chain sprint - we are not yet even at the starting line, to compete in this race.

To find the best of Malaysians to represent its current and future interest and to get Malaysia to work under their leadership, requires us to learn to be race-blind, almost overnight. Other countries work as a team to strengthen themselves - we work like 3 separate teams, in the same country. Sometimes, rowing in different directions.

The general citizens of Malaysia are either not aware of the importance of pulling together or they just don't care. Or their eyes are fixed on their rice bowls and their tiny little world. A learned helplessness, says Praba. I agree.

I'm willing to fight any Government for accountability, for a people that's willing to fight for their rights. But I will not fight my own people, if all they wish for is a rice bowl, while being raped of their rights and resources in broad daylight, by those with political might.

I won't fight for a people that doesn't want to fight. And most of all, I won't fight against my own fellow Malaysians, when they're (relatively) happy with how things are. Change can only come if the people want it - no point trying to sell something people don't want to buy.

I don't fault them for what they wish for, regardless of where it may lead them. And I guess, my only wish is that they will not question the choices that I make, in return.

The world is a big place and our life is much too short. Choose a corner that will make you happy. Life is all about the choices you make.

I began to understand what another London-based Malaysian friend said to me a few years back - "It's easier to live in a country where you don't care for the people and the fate of the country." It took a few years, before I actually understood what he meant. But, yes - it's hurting now.

There's still about 5 years before I'll be at the point when I can and will have to make a choice. And things might change under Pak Lah. And Prabajee may convince me and I might actually stay. And maybe the cow will jump over the moon, too.

But if not Prabajee, you will always be welcome in my home in Wellington, one day. Because I always admire heroes that will die for the cause of others, when they refuse to die for it, themselves.

That's true unselfishness - and it makes you a far better man than me.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

American Idol - A "Wonder"-ful Night

I'm going to echo some of the judges of American Idol - this is the BEST group of 12 finalists we've ever had, in the American Idol series.

(Despite the fact that I felt that Ayla Brown deserved to qualify into the top 12 last week)

My sympathies went out to all the finalists tonight as the theme for this particular episode was focused on Stevie Wonder songs. Stevie Wonder songs are tricky - his high notes are challenging and his low notes are even more difficult, as he could sing it melodically (in a way that most people in this world, cannot).

But I was greatly envious that all of them got to meet the legendary Stevie Wonder. Some of them were visibly moved and overawed by his presence and it's definitely understandable. I mean - who has not heard a Stevie Wonder song?


But my personal ranking of the finalists, in order of performance tonight, are as follows:-

1) Chris Daughtry - this man is definitely superstar material - he's like Vin Diesel and Bo Bice (but better and more original) combined;

2) Katherine McPhee - another one that WILL be a success, regardless of whether she wins or not. This girl is the whole package - star quality and mature singing presence, amazing vocals, loads of style, strikingly attractive and is blessed with a nice pair of,...lungs.; (What were you thinking? ;))

3) Mandisa - Stevie Wonder said of her "this girl can sing anything". I totally agree. But she's only 3rd best, I feel, for this week. But she's certainly been the most consistent, of ALL the finalists;


4) Paris Bennett - She's a wild card, but this girl has bags of vocal talent and is certainly one of the most energetic and composed performers, in the pack. Versatile and may just be able to surprise.

5) Elliot Yamin - Good voice, good performance, consistent and has a great feel for his song. Will sail through;

6) Taylor Hicks - another energetic performance, he's a lot of fun to watch and gives it his 100% everytime. Tonight was no different. Age and popularity is the only thing going against him, surviving longer;

7) Lisa Tucker - she's my disappointment for tonight. She could have picked a song that was less low tone and repetitive (and safe) and which allows her to show off her vocal range and take some risks. A ballad would have been a better choice. Talent-wise, she's got what it takes to be in the top 3, but she's got to start stepping it up a little.


8) Bucky - Surprisingly good performance, for someone who has hardly listened to Stevie Wonder songs. Shows that he can out of his country song genre and still be entertaining;

9) Ace - Entertaining performance tonight. He's usually never superlative, but consistently good. His good looks is a definite advantage, in him lasting longer in the competition;

10) Melissa McGhee - She forgot part of her lyrics tonight and I thought that should be unforgivable, for someone in a singing competition. However, having said that, the girl delivered a strong performance and put her unique vocals to good use. It may have justified her surviving into the top 12, if she keeps this up;

11) Kellie - Totally out of her depth tonight. Could not get out of her country song mould and struggled greatly. But I think America will let her stay on, because she has such a cute and appealing personality;

12) Kevin Covais - Wrong song choice. Even though it's well-attempted and almost credible performance, but the young boy is just not made out to sing "Part-Time Lover". It just didn't fit.


My prediction for top 3 for American Idol has changed. It's now Chris Daughtry, Katherine McPhee and Mandisa.

If Lisa Tucker wants to be in the top 3, she's got to buck up and show the world, what she's got. And never rule out, Paris Bennett - the girl's a firecracker!

But for this week's elimination: my guess is that it would be "Chicken Little" Kevin Covais. Unless the teeny-bopper votes save him. If that happens, Melissa McGhee would be next, on the list. Let's see if I'm right, tomorrow night.

And once we reach the top 10 finalists - it's going to be a heartbreak every week from there, because they're all either good or brilliant. And knowing the unfair sway of the SMS votes, there will be some shockers for sure!

What an amazing season! :) I'm really looking forward to more future episodes of American Idol!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

From Coelho's "The Alchemist"

"Don't think about what you've left behind," the alchemist said to the boy as they began to ride across the sands of the desert. "Everything is written in the Soul of The World, and there it will stay forever."

"Men dream more about coming home than about leaving," the boy said. He was already accustomed to the desert's silence.

"If what one finds is of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return."

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Come tomorrow, Happy Birthday to you, my dear "Fatima". May our lives be full of discoveries of pure matter, rather than transient moments of light.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Breathe

Woke up this morning, with this heavy feeling on my chest. Looks like the 2nd time round, isn't any easier.

Dragged myself out of bed. Switched on the loudest music I could find on the "Hits Dari Seberang" CD. "Melompat Lebih Tinggi" resonated throughout the condo. It's like a sharp prick, on the quiet contemplativeness of the moment.

I need that noise, right now. It stops me from thinking. It stops me from feeling.

Brushed my teeth and quickly stepped into the shower. The cold shower jet on my face, snapped me back to life. My mind started reviewing all the things that had to be done, for the week. The BOD meeting, the due dilligence meeting for the investment, the meeting with the large retail boys, the meeting with the lawyers for the transfer of the pesaka house - everything was happening this week.

Great. Just great,....

I prayed for the strength to pull through this week, without letting bits of my messy personal life, get to me. I've done this before, I kept telling myself. I had to shape The Program, when my divorce was going through its hardest phase, at one time. If I could survive that, I could survive anything. Not that it ever gets any easier, these things.

Just focus on the priorities that need to get done. Shut down. Shut out. Feeling is a luxury I can't afford, right now. I need to focus. Just write it out and let go.

At times like this, I really envy smokers. Or the people on Prozac.

Never mind. Breathe in, breathe out. Focus on what needs to get done right now and in each and every moment. This hurt will pass. Tomorrow will be better. It gets a little bit easier, everyday. Gradually.

It will be, if you try hard enough. We all live on the promise of a better tomorrow, don't we?

The Malay Agenda - Boon or Bane?

ZR got me thinking about a few things relating to the Malay Agenda, yesterday.

There is a sizable formal grouping in the country that believes that since the Malay and Bumiputra population make up close to 70% of the population, that from an economic parity perspective - they deserve to control 70% of the corporate equity (as measured on the Bursa Malaysia) and also 70% of the employment in all sectors.

I'll be the first to assert that disparities between population and economic wealth, generally has a destabilizing effect on political stability. Look no further than Indonesia, for your evidence. And of course, on our own May 13 incident.

And the NEP had been established in Razak era, to avoid the repeat of such an effect. Bear in mind, that back then, even when the Bumiputra population made slightly more than 50% of the population, the quantitative economic, wealth and employment targets were still pegged at 30%.

The reason for this, I believe, is that the intended effect is that the Bumiputra community will not be economically marginalized, within their own country.

It was meant to give them an "equitable" share of the Malaysian economic pie, given the racial demographics - a foundation on which they can build on later, to compete on an equal basis, with the other races.

The NEP was given a 20-year deadline - it was clear that it a temporary measure, which was meant to reverse the effects of over 100 years of the "divide and conquer" treatment by the British, which had caused the economic disparity.

The "Ketuanan Melayu" concept is a political one - that the Malays will always hold primary political power in Malaysia. This understanding is part of the social contract, by the founding fathers of this country.

And given current demographics and political scenario, no one disputes that UMNO is the ruling party of Barisan Nasional - despite the power-sharing formula, between the race-based political parties. The political realities, reflect this - the Malays are politically dominant, via UMNO.


But trying to change the "Ketuanan Melayu" concept to an economic one - where economic wealth correlates to the racial demographics, giving the Malays a 70% dominant share - is living in a fantasy world, that ignores current realities.

It's social reengineering that is suicidal and unthinkable, in this competitive age of globalization. It's a dangerous ideal, formed by those with blinkers. It's a gamble of "menang sorak, kampung tergadai".

Over a period of close to 35 years after the NEP, the Bumiputra corporate equity share in the economy, is barely 20%. If the "leaks" by the Bumiputra share beneficiaries had not happened, (via selling off their shares to other races), the 30% target would have been close to achieved, even before the economic crisis.

How much political intervention would it take for the Bumiputras to reach an even higher target of approximately 70%?

How much inefficiencies, leaks and bail-outs, (on taxpayer's money, of course) will we have to tolerate within the economy, before we reach the target? How much competitiveness shall we intentionally erode, before we turn Malaysia into some of our almost mono-racial regressive neighbours?

And shall we let the (perceptibly) most successful Muslim country in the world fail, due to our greed to translate "Ketuanan Melayu" into an economic equation? How much brain drain from other Malaysians, are we willing to tolerate?

Stop this nonsense of 70%, please. It will destroy this country.


Come back to the original storyline - achieve the 30% corporate equity by 2020, create a competitive Bumiputera commercial, industrial and technology class we can be proud of and let all Malaysians compete on an equal basis, thereafter, but with special protection for the poor of all races, ONLY.

The world is changing around us and forcing us to compete. There is no point in being the economically-dominant race of a much poorer country. Better to share a bigger pie, for the benefit of all. Malaysia is competitive, BECAUSE it is multi-racial and diverse. It's our strength - don't murder it.

But ZR asked me - how do we turn the tide? I had no answers to that.

I can only pray that good sense will overcome racial prejudice, in the political circles. Allow the zealots between us to take over the dialogue and we would have signed the economic death warrant, for this country.

Of Break-Ups, Apples and Oranges

It was an amazingly civil break-up. No raised voices, no harsh exchanges of words, no venom expressed. It was a mutual decision - we understood each other's limits and constraints.

I bought her a gift for her birthday, even though I'm a few days early. (Probably because I already knew that I wouldn't be around her, by the time, her birhthday comes)

I bought her a bouquet of roses, which she's completely elated about. She cooked me a yummy home-cooked lunch and we ate together.


And then we had "the talk". It's been in the offing, for about a week now.

There was so much I wanted to say. There was so much that was rehearsed in my mind repeatedly - love, anger frustration, hope. And perhaps, some sincere advice too. I had an emotional diarrhoea, ready to burst out.

But when it came to the crunch, I felt it all irrelevant and unnecessary. The gist is that we both have our limits which we can tolerate. And constraints, that we have to work within. And I kept the things I said, to a bare minimum.

She was as cool as ice. If there were emotions under that fine exterior, it did not show.

In that sense, she and my mother would have been best friends - perhaps, they both consider emotions, a sign of weakness. Or maybe life has hardened them to a point, where the only emotions expressed, are to themselves.

And at this point in time, this relationship is not going to work. It'd be unhealthy to continue. Especially for me. Three's a crowd.

She spoke about him with admiration - perhaps, rationalizing why she was still in love with him and hanging on, to an unlikely mirage. Not that she needed to - I understand these sort of things perfectly, due to a wealth of past experiences. Too well, perhaps.

But I didn't feel as hurt as I thought I would, hearing her talk about him. I didn't feel inferior or defeated, compared to the other chap. We were just 2 very different people, with very different natures and circumstances. Just because she wants apples, doesn't make me a bad orange. (It took me 16 years to learn that)


Of course, I wish things would be different. But I've been around this block a few times before, enough to know that we don't always get what we want - regardless of how much more sense things make, compared to the alternative.

We laid down the ground rules. Reluctantly or otherwise, my conditions were mutually agreed on and accepted. Total radio silence. It was the only way that we're probably not going to walk down this path again, for the 3rd time.

And when it was all over and done with, she gave me one final goodbye hug. I said "thanks" and later, "I love you" one final time - and moved on. With warmth and smiles, in all civility possible.

And I didn't shed a single tear, until I was back in the confines of my home,....


***********************************************************

Breaking-up is never easy - even as you get older. The emotional impact can still be quite deep - especially, if the feelings are deep and intense.

But age and experience surrounding this familiar bend, has improved me, somewhat. As you understand more, your approach to things becomes more refined, over time. Almost surgical and mechanical, I would say.

The drama and theatrics has lessened, considerably. So has the venom.

And to a certain extent, there are fewer regrets, too. You risk your heart on the line again, but with your eyes wide open and with one part of your heart preserved, so that you don't go off the deep end.

(Like I did in the previous 3 major relationships before her, for instance, within the last 16 years,....)

You spend more time trying to understand why people act the way they do and the rationale behind their decisions and choices. And spend lesser time, trying to attribute fault or blame. And you begin to understand the differences between apples and oranges. And you accept it.

And that sometimes, it has nothing with the amount of effort, you put in. You're just NOT an apple. And no amount of effort would make you one - unless you want to be someone, that you're not.

Yes, it would have been nice, if people could be constantly clear and consistent on whether they want apples or oranges (and reflect such behaviour). But people being people, clarity and consistency, is a rare virtue. Perhaps, it comes with time and experience.


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Truth be told, it was good, while it lasted (even for the 2nd time).

I will miss her and I will miss the children, greatly. Nothing feels quite as good as a family. I'm making a mental note never to get into a relationship with another divorcee with children again - because the split from the children, gives an additional dimension to the pain of splitting up. It's a double whammy.

But Life goes on. It has to. You've just got to live, learn and continue. And pray for fewer errors of judgement and of giving others, too much benefit of the doubt.

But most of all - you need to find the strength, to never lose faith. In Life, in people, in happiness and in the belief that one day - someone you love, will learn to love you, for who you are.

Not for what you have or own. Not for what you provide them, for their own selfish motivations. Just for the person you are - the rest of the benefits, are just perks.

Just because you're an orange and she loves oranges. It shouldn't have to be so hard - it should feel like the most natural thing in the world. And I've been there before and it will happen again. God willing.

Keep the faith.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Editing/The Magic of The House

While watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" last night, I was struck by one of the points that Ray Romano made, at his brother's wedding.

He was talking about editing. In particular, the editing of one's memories.

Sometimes, unpleasant things or rifts happen in the past, between family members, friends or people who love or care for each other. It could lead to painful memories and emotional scars, that resonates forever in you. It could lead you to distancing from each other, for the sake of self-preservation. Or sometimes, the preservation of the ties itself.

But editing involves cutting out the memories of the bad parts and to keep the good parts.

Because it's the good parts that you build your relationships on. It's the good parts that strengthens your bond. And makes you value what you have.

Of course, it can't be done in all cases. Some people are beyond redemption, even if they're family.

But I'm quite sure that if we pause for a while, we'll know at least 1 or 2 people, where we haven't done enough editing on. And some, which we repeatedly do more editing than is needed - where even the bad things, is seen in a good light - and we start living in a world of self-imposed fiction.

But yes, for most reasonable things - keep the good parts. And cherish them - for they are worth their weight in gold.

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Mrs Ranee (not her real name) is the wife of the purchaser of my family home. And when she last spoke to me, it was with much elation and gratitude.

You see, the family home that us siblings sold (after my Mom's passing) last year, was bought by an Indian family. And there was a reason, why they specifically chose our family home.

Their feng shui master told them to buy our family home. For the sake of their child's health.

You see, Karan (not his real name) is Mrs. Ranee's 8-year old son, who suffers from a rare muscle dystrophy and is unable to walk. He's been receiving treatment from the feng shui master (let's call him Master Lee) for the last 2 years (in Master Lee's home, which is nearby to our family home) and Master Lee claimed that Karan will only recover if they found a house with good feng shui and airflow.

The first time, Master Lee stepped into our home, he gave his thumbs up on the feng shui feel of the family home. I'm not a great believer but I went along with it - it doesn't hurt if it helps the sale of the family home.

Although being the great sceptic that I am in the veracity of "traditional" treatments, I felt that Mrs. Ranee's family, were putting in great financial investments (and decisions) at the mere order of their feng shui master.

But Mrs. Ranee believed in the effectiveness of Master Lee's treatment and advice and its effect on Karan's health. And heaven hath nothing more determined than the power of a mother's belief and love,...


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On my last visit to the family home, to settle the issues of the transfer of property - Mrs. Ranee thanked me again, while showing me the renovations they've done to our former family home.

The interior renovations were lavish, but tastefully done. Strangely enough, they kept some parts of the old home intact - like the plaster ceiling which had my mother's designs on it - they felt that it was beautiful and that it deserved to be preserved.

I was touched at that gesture - Mum would have been pleased. :)

Apparently, little Karan is inhabiting my old room. According to Master Lee, it has the best feng shui in the whole house - and that it will help him recover from his affliction. I smiled at the thought that I may have grown up in a "lucky" room. :)

And in the last 2 months - Karan has been performing miracles, health-wise. He's now able to walk on his own. Albeit imperfectly, but still, he hasn't walked on his own since he was 3 years old!

Mrs. Ranee had tears of joy, as she spoke to me about Karan. She felt wholly indebted
to our family, for choosing to sell our family home to them. And at a fairly reasonable price, too.

Me? I was just glad that Karan was getting better and had a chance to live as a normal boy. And if they earnestly believed that his recovery has something to do with the home they bought (and they've got Karan's concrete recovery to prove it), who am I to argue with them? God works in mysterious ways, I guess. I feel happy, if we've contributed in some way, to the joy that this young family would feel.

But Mum would have been pleased, I felt. We could not have chosen better or more grateful purchasers, than the ones we sold the family home to.

And the act of selling the family home, could not have been more meaningful and beneficial than what it is, now.

Amin!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Kisah Benar - Romeo Yang Kantoi

This one is definitely for the history books - of the social outing disasters variety.

I was at The Room last night with Rizal and Ms. Vavavoom. Across the bar, not far from us, was this very attractive girl in a tank-top, with nice long dangling ear-rings. I wasn't complaining - good music at The Room was always better, when there's a sight for sore eyes. Anyway, for the purpose of this story,let's call her Hot Babe (how imaginative, Stingray,...)

Rizal pointed out to me that Hot Babe kept looking in our direction. I didn't think anything of it - Rizal usually gets more than his fair share of attention from the ladies and that's pretty normal. Worst-case scenario, she was a lesbian and she was checking out the lovely Ms. Vavavoom.

Over the course of the night, though - the "wireless" communication began between Hot Babe and I. I looked, she looked back, I smiled, she smiled back, I laughed at the silly ass of a state royalty making a fool of herself on stage, she communicated back in sign language and laughed too. She raised her wine glass in a toast and I raised my glass of Coke, in return.

The stage was set, for an introduction. I'm generally shy, when it comes to chatting up strangers in a bar, therefore I needed a lot of reassurance. And I felt had it, that night.

After Rizal left with Ms. Vavavoom, I coolly cruised over to the seat beside her and was ready to introduce myself.


And the ensuing conversation began:-

Stingray: "Hi, I'm Ray"

Hot Babe: "Hi, I'm Francesca Bruni" (not her real name, of course!)

Stingray: (In my attempt to get a conversation going) "So, where do you live?"

Hot Babe: Not so nearby,...but my car is just downstairs,...(*smiles and flirtatiously winks*)


Stingray: (The perfect Malay word for my reaction, here is "tergamam" - there was a good 7 seconds pause, out of surprise. She can't be talking to me, right? My first instinct was to look behind me, if she was talking to someone else - thankfully, I managed to resist that urge. But that, of course, did not stop me on choking on my reply,...)

Stingray: (In order not to be presumptious - repeats the question in a more serious tone) "So, where do you live again?" (At this point, I was really beginning to regret that question,...I'm such a doofus,...)

Hot Babe: (Looking surprised at the "rebuff" and the bait not taken, slowly recoiled into formal stance and replied) "Somewhere near Mid-Valley"

Stingray: "Ah okay,...I live in Kelana Jaya,...." (Interesting fact, doofus. Apalah bodoh sangat aku niiiii,..I was thinking)

Hot Babe: (Totally in a formal mode and disinterested mode, now) Oh, okay.


The next 2 minutes of conversation, was awkward and stilted. It was obvious that the moment was lost.

Her ego was probably slightly dented and I really wanted to bash my own head in, for mistakenly letting the opportunity go, out of sheer panic. She must have thought that I was a really "skema" boy.

I'm such a doofus. A complete idiot! Aaaarrrggghhhhh! Is it any wonder, that I'm still single and bored?

(But thanks Rizal and Ms. Vavavoom for consoling me at supper. You guys made me feel not so stupid, which I was. What would I do, without the likes of you guys? :))

But maybe I should start working on those "comeback" lines, yes? ;)

American Idol - The Final 12

American Idol's final 12 has been chosen. And they almost got it ALL right, this time.

Ayla Brown's elimination was utterly heartbreaking. The girl is a complete package - confidence, strong vocals, has plenty of style, strikingly attractive and shows an ability to sing a diverse range of songs. And she's only 17.

But SMS democracy had its way and Ayla Brown was eliminated - probably, due to poor song choice - it didn't give her sufficient leverage for the "wow factor". She cried. My heart went out to her. She loved singing and it showed. As someone who loves to sing, I can certainly empathise.

Perhaps, she may know that she wasn't the best - but she certainly expected to make the top 12. And I guess, so did a lot of people.

But I hope she doesn't give up on singing. She has the profile of a star and she should never quit on making it happen. I think she'll be an absolute success, one day - it's just a matter of time.

But the final 12 is here. My bet for the top 3 is on vocal supremo Mandisa, the most talented 16-year old Lisa Tucker and the vivacious and extremely talented Katherine McPhee.

Let's see whether America will get it right, this time.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Clarity in Solitude

There's something spiritual about the act of restraint, for the human soul.

Fasting is a good example. Withholding from food and drink allows you to empathise with others who have less fortunate and are not in a position to have three square meals a day. There are physiological benefits, too - like giving the digesttion system a break (and if any of you are like me, become more productive without having to take lunch)

In some religions, fasting also implies restraining oneself from socially unproductive acts (like gossiping about others)or acts of wanton self-gratification.

And the act of self-restraint teaches you focus. There seems to be more time for everything, when you're fasting. Time to reflect and to see where you're going, time to notice the things you've always taken for granted, time to think of God and to be thankful for all His mercies, big or small.

In many different cultures and civilizations, meditation and solitude is also encouraged, as a way of ascending onto a different plane of understanding. Whatever you call it, be it prophets, monks, walis, yogis, priests, warriors or even those who dabble in the mystical arts - meditation, solitude, restraint and reflection on life, has always been a part of their rites of passage.

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It's easy to understand why. The act of restraint strengthens our resolve and self-control. The act of solitude, meditation and reflection shuts out the "noise" from the outside world.

Sometimes, as human beings, we absorb too much. Too much data, too much information, too many opinions, too much complexity in business and/or politics. Or, even in our personal lives.

We listen too much, we give too much, we don't pause enough to ask where we're going with things. We live on instinct - reacting to things that are happening around us. We live on routine. We drink in cynicism like it's a natural drink from the cup of life, we're tasting. And sometimes, we live on feelings - and we stop thinking. We're so busy with what we want, that we stop asking ourselves what we need.

We don't spare enough time to listen to ourselves. We're too busy listening to others - and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Making sure that they're not short of what they need or want - devoting ourselves to their satisfaction or happiness. Most times, unreciprocated.

Have you realized that sometimes, the more time you spend with others - you lose a bit more of yourself? Sometimes, you compromise so much of yourself and what you stand for, in order to be inclusive, that you dilute who you really are.

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The last few days since the weekend, I've been "caving" in my condo. Sheer solitude. To work, to read, to think, to reflect - even to write. With nasi lemak and pizza lunches and burger dinners. And with Michael Buble belting out classic jazz in the background.

I get more done and I'm more productive. (Frankie seems to think so, too). There seems to be more time for everything, when you don't have to share. I'm not as emotionally turbulent. I can actually hear my voice, in my mind.

I've restrained myself (most times, at least) from calling people, who are like oxygen, to me. I've limited the company of friends, to those I really want to hear from and those who will not jump on my case, about my personal life.

And the solitude "fasting" has been good.

I had time to take stock of the status quo. To listen to what I truly want and to remind myself of what I deserve. To prioritize and to set out fixed parameters, for options, choices and decisions. I'm coming to the same sort of clarity on issues, as if I was giving advice to a 3rd party. Unclouded by emotions, usually evoked by her presence.

Everyone should have time like this. To keep in touch, with oneself and one's dreams. To stop and see the map again, while you're on the journey. And make the necessary course corrections, if any.

Your destination (or the companions on your journey) should not depend on the their destinations - it should depend on yours. Some things in life are meant to be, some things are incidental and is meant to teach you a lesson and some things, are purely meaningless accidents.

Today is my last day, of this particular "caving" session. It has been a rejuvenating period and maybe when things get a little muddy again in the future, I might actually have another "caving" session. It's good for the soul.

But I've still got a few more hours left, for today. And I want to enjoy it, to the fullest. The tranquility and clarity of solitude.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Grasping Good Sense

Old age makes human beings more pragmatic and careful. Well, most of them, anyway.

One of the things that let's me know that I'm getting older, is that a lot more of what my elders used to say, is beginning to make a lot more sense to me.

And for a long time, in my life - I've always fought this.

I've always felt that each life is a unique one - no 2 lives are the same, no matter how similar they may be in circumstances and outcome. There should be no generalization, because of the impossibility of a general all-encompassing truth, about any observations of Life. One man's food is another man's poison.

But if we stop and think about it, for a while: Life has a limited number of drama plots. Your life is not really that unique, perhaps not 80-90% of it.

What really distinguishes you from the others are the details of yourself, perhaps, and your circumstances - your name, your family, the time, the place, the history and the interplay of various characters, languages and cultures. We're never truly original - until we dig deeper beyond the surface, into the details.

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What am I rambling on about, you must be thinking?

I've had a few thoughts about good sense, lately. That some things are irrefutably good sense and that we only become self-saboteurs, when we transgress those lines. The lines that our elders and our religious or cultural morality speak of - about what's proper and what's not. About what's wrong and what's right.

The problem in extracting (or dispensing) lessons about morality is almost always the person preaching about morality - and when we're younger, that almost always, involves an elder. Hypocrisy or mixed signals, dilute the effect of what they're telling us to do. You don't believe it, because they don't walk the talk.

You can't teach your children how to speak well of others, when you don't and you bitch about half of the neighbourhood.

You can't talk to your children about being good pious Muslims, when you harm yourself (or others) with poisonous intoxicant substances, which is prohibited. You can't teach your children about love and forgiveness, when you hold so much of hatred for your ex-husband or your ex-wife.

You can't exemplify faithfulness when you're flirting with half the town when you're married or you're having an illicit affair, while you're married. You can't illustrate to others about being good and honest in your business dealings, when you're corrupt and you're shortchanging your stakeholders.

There are many other examples, of what I'm talking about.

Of seemingly good people, transgressing sensible and moral limitations - with all sorts of justifications and "alternative explanations" - you only live once, my grandma smoked and drank till she was 80 and lived a full life, life is meant to be enjoyed, love justifies it all, the bastard deserves to be hated, people are just judgemental, this is just business and not personal, life's a bitch, so you better treat her like one, etc,...yadda, yadda, yadda.

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So, nobody's perfect. That's a truism that no one disputes.

And if anyone had to be perfect before dispensing advice, there'd be no one left to give advice, really. On the planet.

But it's only partly about that. Of course, we're not perfect and we can't be, nature-wise. We always have weaknesses and for most part, people are always trying to improve on the things that we're weak on.

But I'm talking about what Stephen Covey called one's internal compass - your "True North". The little voice inside of you that tells you the difference between right and wrong. The thing that bothers your conscience, when you do it (at least, for most people).

It's the thing that you wouldn't tell people, for fear of how they may judge you and the circumstance. Or the disease that you ignore out of fear, because you hope that it would dissipate away, while you quietly continue with your self-destructive habits. Or the corruption that you tolerate for the sake of friendship, amicability and/or unity.


I'm talking about the parts of life that we don't deal with - because of love, hate, friendship addiction, fear, selfishness, manipulativeness, dishonesty, a distorted sense of purpose or a screwed-up perspective on morality or just plain escapism. Or any other reason, that one may think of or feel.


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I guess what I'm really trying to say, is - we become self-saboteurs when we ignore some cardinal rules in life.

Yes, we'll always have small problems and challenges in life - but I believe some of the major ones, (barring God-made catastrophic regions like Africa) are self-created.

And that is what some of our elders try to warn us against. It may be due to what they've always felt to be the difference between right and wrong. Or it may be due to hat they've learnt from their own past mistakes or failures (or perhaps, formulas for success). Or something, that they're still learning from.

They're talking about avoiding the big mistakes in life. Not because it's bad to make mistakes (after all, we learn from our mistakes to improve) but because some mistakes, come at such a high price to so many - both present and future. And the effects and damage are almost always, irreversible.

Some of the cardinal rules are repeated in several different religions, cultures and moral norms. We ignore them sometimes, because the basic rules seems simplistic and naive in this vicious, modern dog-eat-dog world, where everyone seems to be transgressing.

Have faith in a greater power than yourself. Practise the basic tenets of your religion or belief, if you have one. Be honest. Be faithful to your family and loved ones. Respect your elders and if you must disagree with them, do it in a respectful way. Take only what is yours - do not steal from others. Lead by example.

Work hard. Read and value education and learning, above all. Don't be greedy. Learn to respect others and learn to respect yourself. Don't deliberately harm yourself (physically or emotionally) and don't harm others. Spare a thought and a helping hand, for the weaker and unfortunate ones in society. Fight the corrupt and the victimisers, in whatever capacity you can.

Love if you must, but without abandoning your moral values, your self-respect and the sacred boundaries of matrimony. True love knows the boundaries of respect, not only for the beloved but for the circumstances, surrounding the lovers.

Speak well of others and always accentuate the positive, where possible. No person is truly good or bad - they're always varying mixtures of both. Some know who they are and some are still finding themselves. Give the benefit of the doubt, where it's reasonable to do so - but never give in to the temptation of blind faith, in the goodness of people. You will be disappointed.

Be the first to forgive - carry not hatred in your heart - it poisons yourself, above all. Avoid the company of fools or charlatans, or take the time to educate them.

And if you want a good family and good children - choose a partner with a strong character and good values. You can't get good fruits, out of bad roots. It's not a guarantee, but it's a good start. When we want our children or younger ones to listen to us, we have to walk the talk. Or keep trying to, at least.

And the knowledge that our life has an end to it. We are not eternal and our mission here is to live a meaningful, happy, healthy and moral life.


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Unless one lives in a moral vacuum, some of the basic tenets I mentioned above, are common wisdom. In all religions, cultures and morality.

It's in-built into us, by a greater power. We know it, because we feel it in our own internal moral compass - our own "true north". It bugs us, when we cross the line, even if we've decided to ignore it. All we have to do, is to find the strength to follow the compass - yes, I know, it's much more tempting and liberating to just ignore it.

But the truth is, our human desires, feelings and appetites, exceed what is good for us. It needs to have moral limits, for goodwill, peace and human civilization to continue.

And what makes us truly human and the finest of all God's beings, is the ability to distuinguish between the good and the bad and to toe within the distinguishing line - the ability to live, within a certain set of moral pillars, that stops us from destroying ourselves or others, in our pursuit of individual or collective happiness.

That makes sense, doesn't it?

Life would be much simpler if we dug in and grasped better what it is, that makes us truly human. Rather than being the wanton kings of animals in a make-believe world, in world that is constantly becoming less respectful and harmonious.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Untuk Mesraku - A. Samad Said

Di dalam hati melimpah rasa
ada sayang untukmu, mesraku.
Rasalah kemesraan suara manja
merayap lembut memeluk kalbumu

Di seberang selat sayangku ada,
terlalu manja mendalam rasanya.
Sakti apa, ya, ada padamu
membawa manja rindumu selalu

Pada bintang menggetar tenang
selalu benar kutumpang tanya:
"Rindukah dara padaku sorang
kelana hiba di rimba lara?"

Kadang bintang mengejek padaku
dan lokek pula memberi jawapan
lalu luluhlah harapan kalbu
sepilah, hampalah dan laralah badan!

Kadang bintang bertimbang rasa
disela senyum lekas dijawabnya:
"Usahlah susah duhai teruna
kasih si dara padamu sahaja!"

Khabar manakah yang padat benar
kasihkah, mesraku, atau bencikah?
Di seluruh jiwa bimbang menjalar
dalam merindu jawapannya.


Singapura
11 Ogos 1955

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Pak Samad - 50+ years later, the meaning in your work is still timeless.

Nikmat - Hasil Nukilan A Samad Said

"Segala yang dihasrat
tapi tak didapat
adalah nikmat
yang paling padat"

In this short but meaningful verse - I really get what you mean, Pak Samad.